1
00:00:00,503 --> 00:00:03,271
Kids, if there's one
big theme to this story--
2
00:00:03,325 --> 00:00:05,426
and I swear,
we're totally, almost,
3
00:00:05,428 --> 00:00:07,928
not really all that close
to the end-- it's timing.
4
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,739
Timing is everything.
5
00:00:09,764 --> 00:00:11,847
For example, I never
would met your mother
6
00:00:11,848 --> 00:00:13,280
if it weren't for a wedding.
7
00:00:13,282 --> 00:00:16,200
The last wedding
I ever thought I'd be at.
8
00:00:16,202 --> 00:00:18,869
What do you think of this tie?
9
00:00:18,871 --> 00:00:20,120
Oh, thank God.
10
00:00:20,122 --> 00:00:21,906
Barney Stinson needs you
right before his wedding,
11
00:00:21,908 --> 00:00:24,491
you assume there's at least
one dead hooker in the closet,
12
00:00:24,493 --> 00:00:25,525
right?
13
00:00:29,831 --> 00:00:32,082
Is this one better?
14
00:00:32,084 --> 00:00:34,585
Look, the tie is great, and,
you know, it's perfectly normal
15
00:00:34,587 --> 00:00:36,370
to have some
pre-wedding jitters.
16
00:00:36,372 --> 00:00:38,038
I'm not having jitters.
17
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:39,557
It just occurs to me
18
00:00:39,559 --> 00:00:42,509
that once I put this tie on,
I can never take it off.
19
00:00:42,511 --> 00:00:45,346
I have to wear this tie
forever and ever.
20
00:00:45,348 --> 00:00:46,931
And sure, this tie's skinny now,
21
00:00:46,933 --> 00:00:49,650
but what happens if it gets fat
and starts bossing me around?
22
00:00:49,652 --> 00:00:51,185
Did I make a mistake?
23
00:00:51,187 --> 00:00:53,687
Would I have been happier
with the other tie?
24
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:58,609
Ted, can I tell you
a big secret?
25
00:00:58,611 --> 00:01:00,578
Yeah, of course.
26
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,948
I'm not really talking
about the tie.
27
00:01:03,950 --> 00:01:05,416
No, I got that, Barney.
28
00:01:05,418 --> 00:01:08,919
I wonder if this whole
thing's a disaster.
29
00:01:08,921 --> 00:01:11,705
What if this is
the worst wedding ever?
30
00:01:11,707 --> 00:01:12,873
Not possible.
31
00:01:12,875 --> 00:01:14,592
We've already been
to the worst wedding ever.
32
00:01:14,594 --> 00:01:16,710
Punchy's wedding.
33
00:01:16,712 --> 00:01:19,380
Marshall really took
a two flusher on that one.
34
00:01:19,382 --> 00:01:21,398
The story of how
Uncle Marshall ruined
35
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:22,967
my friend Punchy's wedding
36
00:01:22,969 --> 00:01:25,019
starts in September, 2011.
37
00:01:25,021 --> 00:01:27,554
Punchy had asked me
to be his best man.
38
00:01:27,556 --> 00:01:28,606
Hey.
Hey.
39
00:01:28,608 --> 00:01:30,224
Guys, before we go,
would you mind
40
00:01:30,226 --> 00:01:31,558
reading my wedding toast?
41
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,559
Oh, yeah, no problem.
Sure.
42
00:01:32,561 --> 00:01:33,894
Um, all right,
if I have to.
43
00:01:33,896 --> 00:01:36,113
All right.
Whoa.
44
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,566
There's a few
different versions.
45
00:01:39,568 --> 00:01:41,952
Ted, why are you working
so hard on this toast?
46
00:01:41,954 --> 00:01:43,454
Punchy belched his proposal
47
00:01:43,456 --> 00:01:45,456
through a karaoke mic
at a bowling alley.
48
00:01:45,458 --> 00:01:47,408
Okay, look, I've never
told you guys this,
49
00:01:47,410 --> 00:01:50,911
but over the years, a few
of my old high school buddies
50
00:01:50,913 --> 00:01:53,163
have asked me
to give wedding toasts,
51
00:01:53,165 --> 00:01:57,468
and they haven't gone great.
52
00:01:57,470 --> 00:02:00,304
Somehow those weddings
all fell smack-dab
53
00:02:00,306 --> 00:02:02,473
in the worst moments
of my life.
54
00:02:02,475 --> 00:02:05,509
Joel and Mora's love
is a beautiful thing.
55
00:02:05,511 --> 00:02:08,612
I thought I had that...
56
00:02:08,614 --> 00:02:12,483
till my fiancée left me
at the altar last week.
57
00:02:12,485 --> 00:02:15,552
I was asked not to talk
about this, so I won't.
58
00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:22,092
I sit outside her house
at night sometimes.
59
00:02:22,094 --> 00:02:25,296
She got a haircut.
60
00:02:25,298 --> 00:02:27,531
After I lost my job last week,
61
00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:29,867
uh, I was asked not
to give this toast...
62
00:02:29,869 --> 00:02:31,335
No, no, no!
63
00:02:31,337 --> 00:02:33,203
The happy couple
needs to hear this.
64
00:02:33,205 --> 00:02:35,239
Things end.
65
00:02:35,241 --> 00:02:38,876
But from the ashes of your
statistically probable divorce,
66
00:02:38,878 --> 00:02:41,879
hope can rise anew.
67
00:02:43,249 --> 00:02:46,050
That is why I'm starting
my own architecture firm--
68
00:02:46,052 --> 00:02:47,951
Mosbius Designs.
69
00:02:47,953 --> 00:02:51,155
Mosbius Designs has failed.
70
00:02:51,157 --> 00:02:55,426
But Alex and Jessica's love
reminds us that...
71
00:02:57,062 --> 00:02:59,697
Oh, God!
72
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:04,151
Classic Schmosby.
73
00:03:04,153 --> 00:03:07,905
Whoa. Punchy posted the low
points of your life online?
74
00:03:07,907 --> 00:03:09,490
Oh, not just that.
75
00:03:09,492 --> 00:03:12,692
♪ Mosbius Designs has failed ♪
76
00:03:12,694 --> 00:03:15,245
♪ But Alex and Jessica's love
reminds us that... ♪
77
00:03:15,247 --> 00:03:18,031
♪ Tha-tha-tha-tha-tha... ♪
78
00:03:18,033 --> 00:03:20,901
Oh, God!
79
00:03:20,903 --> 00:03:23,837
So now I seem like
a total train wreck
80
00:03:23,839 --> 00:03:25,872
to all my old
high school friends.
81
00:03:25,874 --> 00:03:27,474
And a bunch of people
in Finland.
82
00:03:27,476 --> 00:03:30,511
The auto-tune thing got
kind of big over there.
83
00:03:30,513 --> 00:03:33,597
That's why I have
to nail this toast.
84
00:03:33,599 --> 00:03:36,483
Ted, you want to nail
something at this wedding--
85
00:03:36,485 --> 00:03:38,569
lose the Trapper Keeper.
86
00:03:38,571 --> 00:03:40,720
The only thing you need
to bring to Cleveland
87
00:03:40,722 --> 00:03:42,489
is this.
88
00:03:42,491 --> 00:03:43,807
That fall I became
89
00:03:43,809 --> 00:03:46,560
the youngest architect
in the history of New York
90
00:03:46,562 --> 00:03:48,195
to break ground
on a skyscraper.
91
00:03:48,197 --> 00:03:50,848
Which led to a glowing
magazine feature.
92
00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:52,332
I planned on having it framed--
93
00:03:52,334 --> 00:03:54,084
Uncle Barney had
different plans.
94
00:03:54,086 --> 00:03:55,536
Here's your toast--
95
00:03:55,538 --> 00:03:57,955
"Single file, ladies.
No fatties""
96
00:03:57,957 --> 00:03:59,456
That's ridiculous.
97
00:03:59,458 --> 00:04:00,839
Yeah, you're right.
It's Cleveland.
98
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,741
"Single file, ladies""
99
00:04:03,788 --> 00:04:07,788
♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x01 ♪
The Best Man
Original Air Date on September 19, 2011
100
00:04:07,813 --> 00:04:07,913
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
101
00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:19,092
I'm not going
to Punchy's wedding
102
00:04:19,094 --> 00:04:21,278
to brag about a magazine...
103
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,280
cover.
104
00:04:23,282 --> 00:04:25,765
Barney, he doesn't need
dating advice from you.
105
00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:27,785
You never even called Nora.
106
00:04:27,787 --> 00:04:29,436
Kids, you remember Nora.
107
00:04:29,438 --> 00:04:31,905
But just the other day...
108
00:04:31,907 --> 00:04:35,075
I'll call you.
It's never too late, Barney.
109
00:04:35,077 --> 00:04:36,794
Or did you call her?
110
00:04:36,796 --> 00:04:38,612
Not that I care.
Did you?
111
00:04:38,614 --> 00:04:40,214
I don't care. Did you?
112
00:04:40,216 --> 00:04:42,416
I haven't called her.
113
00:04:42,418 --> 00:04:44,418
Buddy.
Damn it, Barney.
114
00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:46,119
I was really, really, really
rooting for you two.
115
00:04:46,121 --> 00:04:47,337
Who wants hot wings?
116
00:04:47,339 --> 00:04:48,555
I'm in.
117
00:04:48,557 --> 00:04:50,757
Or maybe we should just pour
hot sauce on Barney,
118
00:04:50,759 --> 00:04:52,142
since he's a total chicken.
119
00:04:52,144 --> 00:04:53,844
I did not chicken out.
120
00:04:53,846 --> 00:04:55,813
Nora is looking for
something serious.
121
00:04:55,815 --> 00:04:56,879
I'm not. End of story.
122
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,856
And yes, Robin, I would
love some wings.
123
00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:00,081
Cannibal.
124
00:05:00,269 --> 00:05:01,902
Okay, next round's on me.
125
00:05:01,904 --> 00:05:03,337
Oh, no, we got it.
No, no...
126
00:05:03,339 --> 00:05:05,139
Now Lily and Marshall
had just found out
127
00:05:05,141 --> 00:05:06,640
they were having a baby.
128
00:05:06,642 --> 00:05:09,493
I can't wait to tell everyone.
Baby, no,
129
00:05:09,495 --> 00:05:11,912
we can't tell anyone.
Not until three months.
130
00:05:11,914 --> 00:05:13,313
I don't want to jinx it.
131
00:05:13,315 --> 00:05:15,499
That's a bit superstitious,
don't you think?
132
00:05:15,501 --> 00:05:18,452
Whenever we board a flight,
you lick the plane.
133
00:05:18,454 --> 00:05:20,037
Have we crashed
even once?
134
00:05:20,039 --> 00:05:23,340
Don't say a word until we
know everything's okay. Deal?
135
00:05:23,342 --> 00:05:26,293
Deal. But everything's
just going to be great.
136
00:05:26,295 --> 00:05:28,295
I promise.
137
00:05:28,297 --> 00:05:30,464
How can you guarantee that?
138
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,885
Come here.
139
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,940
I'm just so happy.
I don't know how
140
00:05:39,942 --> 00:05:42,609
we're going to keep this secret
for three months.
141
00:05:42,611 --> 00:05:43,977
Relax. It'll be easy.
142
00:05:43,979 --> 00:05:46,012
What'll you have?
143
00:05:46,014 --> 00:05:48,115
Four beers, plus
one non-alcoholic.
144
00:05:48,117 --> 00:05:51,768
You're pregnant!
Get in here!
145
00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:53,620
And so we all headed
to my hometown
146
00:05:53,622 --> 00:05:55,021
where we planned to celebrate
147
00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:56,290
Punchy's big day.
148
00:05:56,292 --> 00:05:57,941
Uncle Barney had
different plans.
149
00:05:57,943 --> 00:05:59,326
Get ready, Cleveland.
150
00:05:59,328 --> 00:06:01,161
The last man to
screw you this hard
151
00:06:01,163 --> 00:06:03,130
then disappear
was LeBron James.
152
00:06:03,132 --> 00:06:06,250
You're trying
to get laid here?
153
00:06:06,252 --> 00:06:08,552
What?
God, Barney,
154
00:06:08,554 --> 00:06:09,920
tonight is a magical night
155
00:06:09,922 --> 00:06:11,889
between Ted's annoying
friend and what's-her-face.
156
00:06:11,891 --> 00:06:13,090
Have some respect.
157
00:06:13,092 --> 00:06:15,041
This isn't just getting laid.
158
00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:16,710
This is market research.
159
00:06:16,712 --> 00:06:21,047
You see, my legendary
success rate of 83%...
160
00:06:21,049 --> 00:06:23,183
17-- it's always
the inverse.
161
00:06:23,185 --> 00:06:24,985
...doesn't happen by accident.
162
00:06:24,987 --> 00:06:27,070
Every single play
I run on women
163
00:06:27,072 --> 00:06:28,605
has been
meticulously field-tested.
164
00:06:28,607 --> 00:06:29,940
By weeding out
165
00:06:29,942 --> 00:06:32,892
the bad plays in smaller markets
like Cleveland,
166
00:06:32,894 --> 00:06:35,061
I know which ones will work
in New York.
167
00:06:35,063 --> 00:06:36,029
For example,
168
00:06:36,031 --> 00:06:38,398
tonight marks
the inaugural flight
169
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,751
of the escaped manslaughterer.
170
00:06:41,703 --> 00:06:43,787
Are escaped
manslaughterers sexy?
171
00:06:43,789 --> 00:06:44,904
Not even remotely.
No. No.
172
00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:47,574
Exactly.
We'll never know unless
173
00:06:47,576 --> 00:06:48,792
I try it out tonight.
174
00:06:48,794 --> 00:06:50,460
Schmosby!
Oh!
175
00:06:50,462 --> 00:06:53,180
Turd-faces! What's up?!
176
00:06:53,182 --> 00:06:54,932
You really feel
that ring now.
177
00:06:54,934 --> 00:06:56,416
So glad you all made it.
178
00:06:56,418 --> 00:06:58,685
Open bar. Drink up,
turd-faces,
179
00:06:58,687 --> 00:07:00,854
'cause Kelly's dad's
paying for all this,
180
00:07:00,856 --> 00:07:03,140
and he hates my guts.
181
00:07:03,142 --> 00:07:04,558
It's true.
182
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,643
Who's doing shots?
Come on, let's go.
183
00:07:06,645 --> 00:07:07,927
Oh, no, thank you.
184
00:07:07,929 --> 00:07:09,179
What are you pregnant
or something?
185
00:07:09,181 --> 00:07:10,480
Let's get hammered!
186
00:07:12,117 --> 00:07:13,767
You're drinking
for two tonight, baby.
187
00:07:13,769 --> 00:07:17,204
I will do this for the child.
188
00:07:17,206 --> 00:07:19,272
- Go Browns!
- Go Browns!
189
00:07:19,274 --> 00:07:21,825
In AFC regular season play,
190
00:07:21,827 --> 00:07:24,294
but if they mean the
Super Bowl, go Vikings.
191
00:07:24,296 --> 00:07:25,796
Yowza!
192
00:07:26,999 --> 00:07:29,666
Escaped manslaughterers--
not sexy.
193
00:07:29,668 --> 00:07:31,501
Although in hindsight,
194
00:07:31,503 --> 00:07:34,004
that was kind
of a flawed concept.
195
00:07:34,006 --> 00:07:36,456
Next up, patient zero.
196
00:07:39,978 --> 00:07:42,729
Lily, we are getting
sloshed tonight.
197
00:07:43,681 --> 00:07:44,798
That's all you, baby.
198
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,733
I'll be four shots in
with no food.
199
00:07:46,735 --> 00:07:49,398
In nine months, I'll be pushing
a pumpkin-headed Eriksen baby
200
00:07:49,423 --> 00:07:50,623
out of my hoo-ha.
201
00:07:51,106 --> 00:07:53,357
I think Papa can manage
a few extra cocktails.
202
00:07:53,359 --> 00:07:55,158
Well played.
203
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,498
Hakuna Matata!
204
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:04,751
I, uh, I got
to get some air.
205
00:08:06,671 --> 00:08:08,822
Kids, remember how I told you
206
00:08:08,824 --> 00:08:11,074
Marshall ruined
Punchy's wedding?
207
00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:12,342
That wasn't it.
208
00:08:12,344 --> 00:08:14,645
God, will you look
at that guy.
209
00:08:14,647 --> 00:08:17,014
I wish Barney
210
00:08:17,016 --> 00:08:18,382
were my boyfriend again.
211
00:08:18,384 --> 00:08:19,716
No, thanks.
212
00:08:19,718 --> 00:08:21,558
Wait a minute.
That's your truth voice.
213
00:08:21,583 --> 00:08:22,783
My what?
214
00:08:23,355 --> 00:08:25,772
Whenever you're trying to pass
something off as a joke
215
00:08:25,774 --> 00:08:29,126
but it's actually profoundly
true, you use that voice.
216
00:08:29,128 --> 00:08:32,011
I wish the Spice Girls
would get back together.
217
00:08:32,013 --> 00:08:33,647
They were awesome.
218
00:08:33,649 --> 00:08:35,449
The worst.
219
00:08:39,821 --> 00:08:41,872
That was me.
220
00:08:41,874 --> 00:08:44,357
I totally cut one.
221
00:08:44,359 --> 00:08:47,360
That guy.
222
00:08:47,362 --> 00:08:49,746
Birthday present
from my dad.
223
00:08:49,748 --> 00:08:50,992
All I really want is for him
224
00:08:51,017 --> 00:08:52,817
to tell me that he loves me.
225
00:08:53,752 --> 00:08:55,085
Just kidding.
226
00:08:55,087 --> 00:08:56,420
This pen's enough.
227
00:08:56,422 --> 00:08:58,204
It's not enough.
228
00:08:58,206 --> 00:09:00,373
It's totally enough.
229
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,310
Oh, my God.
230
00:09:03,312 --> 00:09:06,763
You still have
feelings for Barney.
231
00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:12,447
Admit it, you still have
feelings for Barney.
232
00:09:12,476 --> 00:09:15,377
You are drunker than I thought.
233
00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:16,345
I mean,
234
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,564
look at the guy.
Wait, wait, wait.
235
00:09:18,566 --> 00:09:21,216
Before you go, please answer
the following survey
236
00:09:21,218 --> 00:09:23,269
to help me better
bang you in the future.
237
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,438
What didn't work for you
about this play?
238
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,940
Did you A) not believe
239
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,693
I was a Guinness Book
world record holder?
240
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:34,330
or B) did the fingernails
gross you out?
241
00:09:34,332 --> 00:09:36,365
Th...
242
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,617
I can't wait for
your toast, Schmosby.
243
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:41,069
Yeah, here come
the waterworks.
244
00:09:41,071 --> 00:09:43,706
Wait. You're rooting for me to
melt down at your own wedding?
245
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,090
Yeah, everyone is.
246
00:09:45,092 --> 00:09:47,176
Plus a few new friends
from Finland.
247
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:51,964
Hey, good luck, Schmos.
248
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,799
Good luck, good luck.
249
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,935
Take it.
250
00:09:55,937 --> 00:09:58,187
Show them how awesome you are.
251
00:09:58,189 --> 00:10:02,858
Shamelessly plug yourself,
so you can shamelessly plug,
252
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:04,977
let's say that.
I told you,
253
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,695
I'm not here to brag, okay?
254
00:10:06,697 --> 00:10:08,030
That's it.
255
00:10:08,032 --> 00:10:10,115
You're too polite to brag.
256
00:10:10,117 --> 00:10:11,867
Well, fine.
257
00:10:11,869 --> 00:10:13,402
Let me.
258
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:16,538
Because the only person
on Earth
259
00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,791
who loves Ted Mosby
more than Marshall Eriksen,
260
00:10:18,793 --> 00:10:21,243
is drunk Marshall Eriksen.
261
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:22,995
So game on.
262
00:10:28,501 --> 00:10:30,653
Kids, remember how I told you
263
00:10:30,655 --> 00:10:33,188
Marshall ruined Punchy
and Kelly's wedding?
264
00:10:34,674 --> 00:10:36,792
That wasn't it either.
265
00:10:36,794 --> 00:10:39,979
Barney and I tried and failed.
266
00:10:39,981 --> 00:10:41,296
That was two years ago.
267
00:10:41,298 --> 00:10:43,465
Why would I ever
go down that road again?
268
00:10:43,467 --> 00:10:44,900
It wouldn't even
make sense.
269
00:10:44,902 --> 00:10:47,319
It doesn't have to make sense.
It's chemistry.
270
00:10:47,321 --> 00:10:51,273
Look, I've always had a sixth
sense about these things.
271
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,158
And now that I'm pregnant...
272
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,995
with this idea
in my mind-uterus,
273
00:10:55,997 --> 00:10:57,312
I see things
even clearer.
274
00:10:57,314 --> 00:11:00,249
You and Barney have the kind
of chemistry
275
00:11:00,251 --> 00:11:02,584
that just doesn't go away.
276
00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:07,456
Really? Then why is he trying
to LeBron anything that moves?
277
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,674
Did this not work for you
278
00:11:08,676 --> 00:11:10,492
because A) vampires
are played out,
279
00:11:10,494 --> 00:11:13,462
or B) claiming that I also
invented Facebook
280
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:16,215
was kind of a hat on a hat?
281
00:11:18,151 --> 00:11:19,668
You're the reason
282
00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:21,169
he never called Nora.
283
00:11:21,171 --> 00:11:23,505
You're the reason he's only
test-marketing tonight.
284
00:11:23,507 --> 00:11:25,274
And you're the
reason he keeps
285
00:11:25,276 --> 00:11:27,059
striking out on purpose.
286
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,494
Chemistry.
287
00:11:29,362 --> 00:11:31,897
Whoa! Ted!
288
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,699
Is that really you
289
00:11:33,701 --> 00:11:36,685
on the cover of
New York magazine?
290
00:11:36,687 --> 00:11:38,203
Now, you say "yes""
291
00:11:38,205 --> 00:11:40,322
Please stop.
Schmosby.
292
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:41,373
What's this about a magazine?
293
00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:43,325
You know what, Clay?
It's no big deal.
294
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,461
You know what?
It is a big deal.
295
00:11:45,463 --> 00:11:50,249
Clay, my friend Ted is
designing a skyscraper, Clay.
296
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,884
What have you been
up to, Clay?
297
00:11:51,886 --> 00:11:54,386
Well, I'm still working
at the rental car company...
298
00:11:54,388 --> 00:11:56,004
Bravo, bravo, Clay.
299
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:59,040
Any major publications
want to write an article
300
00:11:59,042 --> 00:12:01,060
on your sweet
rental car gig?
301
00:12:01,062 --> 00:12:02,511
No, no articles.
302
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:03,512
My life's pretty dull.
303
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:07,716
I guess the only news is
this little gal.
304
00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:10,102
Oh, my God,
wook at the wittle baby.
305
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,854
She is so cute.
306
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,723
All I want to do
is put her little feet
307
00:12:14,725 --> 00:12:17,392
in my mouth.
308
00:12:17,394 --> 00:12:19,561
You've created something
truly beautiful.
309
00:12:19,563 --> 00:12:21,580
She is my everything.
310
00:12:21,582 --> 00:12:25,400
I mean, it's kind
of a big deal...
311
00:12:25,402 --> 00:12:26,735
the building,
you know?
312
00:12:26,737 --> 00:12:28,237
Hey, little one.
313
00:12:28,239 --> 00:12:29,872
So, this little angel's
already sleeping
314
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:30,906
through the night?
315
00:12:30,908 --> 00:12:32,791
I've had some
sleepless nights...
316
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:35,677
designing this building.
317
00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,180
Aw...
318
00:12:38,182 --> 00:12:40,466
Nothing symbolic
about that.
319
00:12:41,468 --> 00:12:43,051
Let it go.
320
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,637
There is no chemistry left
between me and Barney.
321
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:46,755
We're done.
322
00:12:46,757 --> 00:12:49,641
Oh really? Prove it.
Go tell him.
323
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:51,059
Why would I go
tell him that?
324
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:54,563
Because deep down, even if he
isn't aware of it himself,
325
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,715
Barney wants to be with you.
326
00:12:56,717 --> 00:12:58,150
And if it's not
gonna happen,
327
00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,768
he deserves to know.
328
00:12:59,770 --> 00:13:01,086
Fine.
329
00:13:04,190 --> 00:13:07,242
Barney, just so everything
is crystal clear...
330
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:08,794
I know what you're gonna say.
331
00:13:08,796 --> 00:13:11,797
Let's show Cleveland how
it's done.
332
00:13:12,832 --> 00:13:15,634
♪ The chills that you spill
up my back ♪
333
00:13:15,636 --> 00:13:17,252
♪ Leave me filled
with satisfaction ♪
334
00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:20,088
♪ When we're done, satisfaction
of what's to come ♪
335
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:24,243
♪ I couldn't ask for another ♪
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
336
00:13:28,464 --> 00:13:32,351
♪ Now I couldn't ask
for another ♪
337
00:13:36,556 --> 00:13:38,607
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
338
00:13:39,859 --> 00:13:43,111
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
339
00:13:44,581 --> 00:13:48,283
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
♪ Ask your mama ♪
340
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:51,152
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
341
00:13:57,677 --> 00:14:00,512
♪ One, two, three ♪
342
00:14:06,886 --> 00:14:08,420
♪ Groove is in
your heart ♪
343
00:14:08,422 --> 00:14:11,023
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
344
00:14:11,941 --> 00:14:16,111
♪ Groove is in
the heart ♪
345
00:14:16,113 --> 00:14:18,864
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
346
00:14:19,732 --> 00:14:23,402
♪ Groove is in the heart. ♪
347
00:14:34,965 --> 00:14:37,332
Barney... I...
348
00:14:39,202 --> 00:14:41,753
Sorry.
349
00:14:43,723 --> 00:14:46,191
Oh, my God, it's Nora.
350
00:14:50,409 --> 00:14:51,943
Nora's finally
calling me back.
351
00:14:51,945 --> 00:14:53,361
Wait, you said you
never called her.
352
00:14:53,363 --> 00:14:55,580
I lied. I called her,
like, five times.
353
00:14:55,582 --> 00:14:57,165
Wait, wait!
354
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:59,117
You of all people
know how much
355
00:14:59,119 --> 00:15:02,003
I suck at these things.
You gotta help me. Please?
356
00:15:02,005 --> 00:15:03,204
Just once I would like
357
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,039
to see what it feels like
to not screw things up.
358
00:15:05,041 --> 00:15:07,208
Yeah, mm-hmm.
359
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,659
Okay.
360
00:15:08,661 --> 00:15:11,296
Hey, Nora.
Thanks for calling me back.
361
00:15:11,298 --> 00:15:15,666
Um, hey, hi.
The-the-the reason that, um,
362
00:15:15,668 --> 00:15:17,168
I called is, uh...
363
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:18,936
To tell you how
I feel about you.
364
00:15:18,938 --> 00:15:20,338
...to tell you how
I feel about you.
365
00:15:20,340 --> 00:15:21,973
I know we didn't work
out the first time...
366
00:15:21,975 --> 00:15:23,808
I know we didn't work out
the first time...
367
00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:25,443
...and I know it doesn't
make any sense...
368
00:15:25,445 --> 00:15:27,228
...and I know it doesn't
make any sense...
369
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,731
...but I can't shake the feeling
that we belong together.
370
00:15:29,733 --> 00:15:31,149
...but I can't shake
this feeling
371
00:15:31,151 --> 00:15:32,233
that we belong together.
372
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:34,986
Is there any part of you
that wants to try again?
373
00:15:34,988 --> 00:15:37,521
Is there any part of you
that wants to try again?
374
00:15:44,963 --> 00:15:47,281
Baby, I can't take it anymore.
375
00:15:47,283 --> 00:15:49,033
I've gotta tell somebody
that we're pregnant.
376
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,301
Eriksen, stay strong.
377
00:15:50,303 --> 00:15:51,886
We're keeping this secret.
378
00:15:51,888 --> 00:15:53,388
There's babies everywhere.
379
00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:54,972
It's like a minefield
of cuteness.
380
00:15:54,974 --> 00:15:56,474
Look at this little bastard.
381
00:15:56,476 --> 00:15:58,810
Marshall, stop it.
Stay strong.
382
00:15:58,812 --> 00:16:02,213
You can't let holding some,
some little baby...
383
00:16:02,215 --> 00:16:05,316
oh, with the cute
little cheeks
384
00:16:05,318 --> 00:16:07,485
and the... the little arms
385
00:16:07,487 --> 00:16:09,020
and little legs...
386
00:16:09,022 --> 00:16:12,073
This son of a bitch
has knee dimples.
387
00:16:12,075 --> 00:16:13,741
Let's go tell everyone
I'm pregnant.
388
00:16:13,743 --> 00:16:15,193
Yeah!
389
00:16:35,247 --> 00:16:36,347
You okay?
390
00:16:36,349 --> 00:16:37,632
Nope. You?
391
00:16:37,634 --> 00:16:39,801
Not excessively.
392
00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:40,935
You want to talk
about it?
393
00:16:40,937 --> 00:16:42,420
Not even a little.
394
00:16:42,422 --> 00:16:45,556
Might make you feel better.
395
00:16:45,558 --> 00:16:48,443
Okay, fine,
I'll make you a deal:
396
00:16:48,445 --> 00:16:51,946
you go first, and then I'll
stick with my thing
397
00:16:51,948 --> 00:16:53,448
about not talking about it.
398
00:16:53,450 --> 00:16:55,800
Okay.
399
00:16:56,869 --> 00:16:58,069
All my friends from high school,
400
00:16:58,071 --> 00:16:59,871
they're here with their wives,
their kids.
401
00:16:59,873 --> 00:17:03,607
Me? My date for the night
is a sticky magazine.
402
00:17:03,609 --> 00:17:06,160
Sounds like high school
all over again.
403
00:17:06,162 --> 00:17:07,795
Sorry, it was right there.
404
00:17:09,765 --> 00:17:12,667
I used to believe in destiny,
you know?
405
00:17:12,669 --> 00:17:16,587
I'd go to the bagel place,
see a pretty girl in line
406
00:17:16,589 --> 00:17:19,557
reading my favorite novel,
whistling the song
407
00:17:19,559 --> 00:17:21,976
that's been stuck in my head
all week and I'd think,
408
00:17:21,978 --> 00:17:25,263
"Wow. Hey, maybe she's
the one."
409
00:17:25,948 --> 00:17:27,648
Now I think, "I just know
410
00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:28,966
"that bitch is gonna take
411
00:17:28,968 --> 00:17:30,685
the last whole-wheat everything
bagel."
412
00:17:30,687 --> 00:17:33,020
You've just been focused
on work.
413
00:17:33,022 --> 00:17:37,074
No, it's more than that.
414
00:17:37,076 --> 00:17:39,477
I've stopped believing.
415
00:17:40,279 --> 00:17:41,696
Not in some depressed,
416
00:17:41,698 --> 00:17:44,165
"I'm gonna cry
during my toast" way.
417
00:17:44,167 --> 00:17:46,667
Not in a way I even noticed
until tonight.
418
00:17:46,669 --> 00:17:53,157
It's just, every day,
I think I believe a little less
419
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,493
and a little less
and a little less.
420
00:17:55,495 --> 00:17:58,479
And that... sucks.
421
00:18:00,665 --> 00:18:03,634
What do I do
about that, Scherbatsky?
422
00:18:03,636 --> 00:18:05,336
You're Ted Mosby.
423
00:18:05,338 --> 00:18:07,355
You start believing again.
424
00:18:07,357 --> 00:18:10,141
In what, destiny?
425
00:18:10,143 --> 00:18:12,860
Chemistry.
426
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:16,314
If you have chemistry,
you only need one other thing.
427
00:18:16,316 --> 00:18:17,532
What's that?
428
00:18:17,534 --> 00:18:19,016
Timing.
429
00:18:19,635 --> 00:18:21,686
But timing's a bitch.
430
00:18:24,173 --> 00:18:27,625
Hey, we still have
our 40 deal, right?
431
00:18:27,627 --> 00:18:29,160
If we're both still
single at 40...
432
00:18:29,162 --> 00:18:31,028
I'm all yours.
Hmm
433
00:18:31,030 --> 00:18:34,081
Unrelated, do architects make
big money?
434
00:18:34,083 --> 00:18:36,667
Aggressively
medium money.
435
00:18:36,669 --> 00:18:39,720
Damn it.
436
00:18:39,722 --> 00:18:41,522
Schmosby, you're up
in two minutes.
437
00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:44,559
Okay, promise me two things,
438
00:18:44,561 --> 00:18:46,511
one) you start believing again,
439
00:18:46,513 --> 00:18:50,615
and two) don't cry
during the toast, Schmosby.
440
00:18:50,617 --> 00:18:53,050
I promise.
441
00:18:53,052 --> 00:18:54,819
Good.
442
00:18:57,556 --> 00:18:59,740
We're having a baby.
443
00:18:59,742 --> 00:19:01,409
What, for real?
444
00:19:01,411 --> 00:19:02,527
For real.
445
00:19:02,529 --> 00:19:03,578
Oh!
Oh!
446
00:19:05,698 --> 00:19:07,231
Attention, everyone!
447
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:09,083
It's time for the reason
we're all here tonight.
448
00:19:09,085 --> 00:19:11,836
Schmosby's toast!
449
00:19:11,838 --> 00:19:14,388
We're here tonight
to celebrate love.
450
00:19:17,694 --> 00:19:19,794
Love brings us new life...
451
00:19:21,264 --> 00:19:22,930
Hey!
452
00:19:26,852 --> 00:19:28,786
This isn't a meltdown.
453
00:19:29,605 --> 00:19:31,639
These are tears of joy.
454
00:19:31,641 --> 00:19:36,093
Ted is happy for his friends
455
00:19:36,095 --> 00:19:39,146
'cause he's the best guy
that I know.
456
00:19:39,148 --> 00:19:40,448
And do you know why he's happy?
457
00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:43,267
Because this beautiful lady
right here is pregnant.
458
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:44,702
How did you know that?!
459
00:19:44,704 --> 00:19:46,904
That was supposed
to be a secret!
460
00:19:46,906 --> 00:19:49,006
Turns out...
461
00:19:49,008 --> 00:19:49,957
Go Browns!
462
00:19:49,959 --> 00:19:52,326
Go Browns!
Whoo!
463
00:19:52,328 --> 00:19:53,777
In AFC regular season play,
464
00:19:53,779 --> 00:19:55,796
but if they mean the
Super Bowl, go Vikings.
465
00:19:55,798 --> 00:19:57,448
How dare you.
466
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,800
That's my daughter,
you piece of garbage.
467
00:19:59,802 --> 00:20:01,769
You're still gonna pay
for all this, right?
468
00:20:01,771 --> 00:20:04,672
"Piece of garbage"?
That's my son.
469
00:20:04,674 --> 00:20:08,109
And that is how Marshall
destroyed Punchy's wedding.
470
00:20:09,479 --> 00:20:11,462
But we didn't care.
471
00:20:11,464 --> 00:20:15,516
There was gonna be a sixth
member of our little family.
472
00:20:17,369 --> 00:20:19,487
No wedding will ever,
ever be as bad
473
00:20:19,489 --> 00:20:21,772
as that one, right?
474
00:20:21,774 --> 00:20:24,825
I picked the right tie,
didn't I?
475
00:20:24,827 --> 00:20:27,328
You nailed it.
476
00:20:27,330 --> 00:20:30,848
And hey, just be glad
it's not the ducky tie.
477
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,266
Ooh, the ducky tie.
478
00:20:32,268 --> 00:20:34,468
That's a good story kids.
I'll get to that.
479
00:20:34,470 --> 00:20:37,204
Man, we are not even close
to the end.
480
00:20:39,492 --> 00:20:42,059
You're a good
best man, Ted.
481
00:20:43,045 --> 00:20:45,096
You're gonna cry during
the toast, aren't you?
482
00:20:45,098 --> 00:20:45,996
Oh, I'm totally gonna cry.
483
00:20:45,998 --> 00:20:47,882
Come in.
484
00:20:49,718 --> 00:20:51,385
Ted, the bride wants to see you.
485
00:20:52,688 --> 00:20:54,605
Okay.
486
00:20:56,942 --> 00:20:58,609
Really? You're gonna go
with that tie?
487
00:21:02,175 --> 00:21:06,175
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net