1 00:00:00,669 --> 00:00:03,723 - Dad, we need to talk. - Is it about the bees? visit tvshowslatest.blogspot.com to download 2 00:00:03,726 --> 00:00:05,693 Bees? We're throwing 3 00:00:05,695 --> 00:00:07,373 a housewarming party in two weeks. 4 00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:08,196 Oh. 5 00:00:08,197 --> 00:00:09,613 It's gonna be friends, neighbors... 6 00:00:09,615 --> 00:00:11,115 Did he say... did he say "bees"? 7 00:00:11,117 --> 00:00:14,535 Yeah. Marshall's been working very long hours lately, 8 00:00:14,537 --> 00:00:17,571 so I have been planning this whole party by myself, 9 00:00:17,573 --> 00:00:20,424 and everything's in place: the food, the wine. 10 00:00:20,426 --> 00:00:23,577 I even found a rare Gouda on the Internet. 11 00:00:23,579 --> 00:00:24,762 Oh. 12 00:00:24,764 --> 00:00:25,963 Getting back to these bees... 13 00:00:25,965 --> 00:00:28,015 Bottom line: this party is very important to me, 14 00:00:28,017 --> 00:00:32,519 so I can only assume-- and I say this with love-- 15 00:00:32,521 --> 00:00:33,921 you're gonna ruin it. 16 00:00:33,923 --> 00:00:36,840 Lily, I promise I won't ruin your party. 17 00:00:36,842 --> 00:00:38,592 I'll be charming and convivial. 18 00:00:38,594 --> 00:00:39,944 A regular Burt Reynolds. 19 00:00:39,946 --> 00:00:41,645 You have absolutely nothing to worry about. 20 00:00:41,647 --> 00:00:43,747 Tell us about the bees! 21 00:00:43,749 --> 00:00:45,950 Well, all right, since you asked. 22 00:00:45,952 --> 00:00:47,284 I'm starting up a business 23 00:00:47,286 --> 00:00:49,987 cultivating all-organic, artisanal honey. 24 00:00:49,989 --> 00:00:52,790 That's right, I'm a job creator. 25 00:00:52,792 --> 00:00:55,125 Oh. So this party... 26 00:00:55,127 --> 00:00:56,961 Oh, Lily, wait. Um, if you don't mind, 27 00:00:56,963 --> 00:00:59,413 I just, I have one follow-up. 28 00:00:59,415 --> 00:01:02,216 Where are you doing this exactly? 29 00:01:02,218 --> 00:01:05,135 Downstairs-- there's 10,000 bees in the basement. 30 00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:11,250 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x14 ♪ The Burning Beekeeper Original Air Date on February 6, 2012 visit tvshowslatest.blogspot.com to download 31 00:01:11,275 --> 00:01:15,275 == sync, corrected by elderman == visit tvshowslatest.blogspot.com to download 32 00:01:19,901 --> 00:01:22,186 TED: Why would you even say that?! It's the most ridic... 33 00:01:22,188 --> 00:01:24,188 BOTH: Happy housewarming! 34 00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:25,973 Hey, guys. 35 00:01:25,975 --> 00:01:27,140 Robin here has spent 36 00:01:27,142 --> 00:01:29,243 all day learning how to make kugel. 37 00:01:29,245 --> 00:01:31,028 Couldn't figure it out-- this is from Zabar's. 38 00:01:31,030 --> 00:01:32,696 Can we heat it up in your oven? 39 00:01:32,698 --> 00:01:35,366 Faster than heating it up in the refrigerator. 40 00:01:35,368 --> 00:01:36,483 (chuckles) 41 00:01:36,485 --> 00:01:37,501 I've had a few cocktails. 42 00:01:37,503 --> 00:01:39,103 I got it. Take that. 43 00:01:40,338 --> 00:01:42,322 NARRATOR: Kids, someday you're gonna throw a party, 44 00:01:42,324 --> 00:01:44,091 and you might find yourself worrying 45 00:01:44,093 --> 00:01:45,876 if something's gonna go wrong. 46 00:01:45,878 --> 00:01:47,828 Well, don't. 47 00:01:47,830 --> 00:01:51,465 What you should worry about is everything going wrong. 48 00:01:51,467 --> 00:01:55,302 And what's really scary is how quickly that can happen. 49 00:01:55,304 --> 00:01:57,104 At Lily and Marshall's housewarming party 50 00:01:57,106 --> 00:02:00,641 for instance, it only took five minutes. 51 00:02:00,643 --> 00:02:03,794 Now, a lot happened in those five minutes. 52 00:02:03,796 --> 00:02:07,781 You know what? I'm gonna take this room by room. 53 00:02:07,783 --> 00:02:09,850 We'll start in the living room. 54 00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,488 Oh, no, that's not what you want. 55 00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:16,657 - What? - Oh, nothing. So, you think 56 00:02:16,659 --> 00:02:17,825 this is going pretty well? 57 00:02:17,827 --> 00:02:19,126 Baby, are you kidding? 58 00:02:19,128 --> 00:02:21,361 You single-handedly pulled off the party of the year. 59 00:02:21,363 --> 00:02:24,081 Oh, stop it. I used both hands. 60 00:02:24,083 --> 00:02:25,532 So, what can I do to help? 61 00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:28,552 Honey, this is your first night off in however long. 62 00:02:28,554 --> 00:02:31,422 You just relax and keep knocking back those cocktails. 63 00:02:31,424 --> 00:02:32,923 Mr. Cootes. 64 00:02:32,925 --> 00:02:35,976 Hey, isn't it nice to finally have a night off? 65 00:02:35,978 --> 00:02:38,095 It is. But tonight is not that night. 66 00:02:38,097 --> 00:02:40,213 We're going back to the office in 45 minutes. 67 00:02:40,215 --> 00:02:42,215 But, sir, this is our housewarming party. 68 00:02:42,217 --> 00:02:44,718 You know, Mother Earth is also having 69 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,104 a "housewarming" party, too, 70 00:02:47,106 --> 00:02:51,108 only hers ends with humankind at the bottom of a rising ocean, 71 00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:53,944 passing through the digestive tract of a stingray. 72 00:02:54,829 --> 00:02:56,580 By the way, it's a lovely home. 73 00:02:56,582 --> 00:03:00,617 Mr. Cootes, I know you're a vegan, so I, uh, 74 00:03:00,619 --> 00:03:03,954 I got some vegan spring rolls for you over there. 75 00:03:03,956 --> 00:03:06,090 Oh, nummies! 76 00:03:07,542 --> 00:03:08,959 You're going back to work? 77 00:03:08,961 --> 00:03:11,845 Sheez, Marshall, you are as busy as a... 78 00:03:11,847 --> 00:03:15,432 Oh, gosh, what are you as busy as? 79 00:03:15,434 --> 00:03:16,633 Please don't talk about the bees. 80 00:03:16,635 --> 00:03:18,018 I was gonna say Nicolas Cage. 81 00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,304 That guy is in everything. 82 00:03:20,306 --> 00:03:22,422 Let's just put on some music. 83 00:03:24,476 --> 00:03:26,527 ♪ 84 00:03:26,529 --> 00:03:28,362 I'll, uh, I'll bring out the Gouda, 85 00:03:28,364 --> 00:03:30,764 we'll open a couple bottles of wine... 86 00:03:30,766 --> 00:03:32,232 that are in the basement. 87 00:03:32,234 --> 00:03:34,251 All right, I'll get my beekeeper's suit. 88 00:03:34,253 --> 00:03:35,903 You should be happy about the bees. 89 00:03:35,905 --> 00:03:37,437 They're keeping the mice at bay. 90 00:03:37,439 --> 00:03:38,438 We have mice? 91 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:39,957 Not with all these bees 92 00:03:39,959 --> 00:03:41,208 flying around, we don't. 93 00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:43,160 You're welcome. 94 00:03:44,295 --> 00:03:46,663 Ted, baby Gouda's coming out. Look alive. 95 00:03:51,219 --> 00:03:52,419 Are you a vegan? 96 00:03:52,421 --> 00:03:53,837 What? 97 00:03:53,839 --> 00:03:55,339 Ooh-ee! 98 00:03:55,341 --> 00:03:58,092 Kitchen, now. 99 00:03:58,094 --> 00:04:01,345 I can't believe that he's making us go to work tonight. 100 00:04:01,347 --> 00:04:04,982 Are... you... a... vegan? 101 00:04:04,984 --> 00:04:06,934 Um, no. 102 00:04:06,936 --> 00:04:09,436 Uh-huh. And when you were shoveling 103 00:04:09,438 --> 00:04:12,356 the spring rolls down your gullet, did you happen to notice 104 00:04:12,358 --> 00:04:14,992 a little sign next to the plate marked "Vegan"? 105 00:04:14,994 --> 00:04:16,643 I think there's been some mistake. 106 00:04:16,645 --> 00:04:19,813 You could have had anything on that table! 107 00:04:19,815 --> 00:04:21,532 Anything at all! 108 00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:25,085 Mini pizzas, bacon-wrapped figs, 109 00:04:25,087 --> 00:04:26,453 pigs in blankets. 110 00:04:26,455 --> 00:04:28,338 There was even talk of an inbound Gouda! 111 00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:30,958 But no, no, you had to have the one thing 112 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,627 that someone with my dietary preferences can eat. 113 00:04:33,629 --> 00:04:35,629 Look, I didn't eat the spring rolls. 114 00:04:35,631 --> 00:04:37,464 Liar! 115 00:04:37,466 --> 00:04:40,484 Your breath reeks of shredded carrots and deceit! 116 00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:47,174 Okay, okay, maybe I did eat your precious spring rolls. 117 00:04:47,176 --> 00:04:48,275 Oh... 118 00:04:48,277 --> 00:04:50,844 What are you gonna do about it, hippie? 119 00:04:50,846 --> 00:04:53,063 (woman screams) 120 00:04:53,065 --> 00:04:55,699 It's fine. Everything's fine. 121 00:04:55,701 --> 00:04:58,152 Young man, 122 00:04:58,154 --> 00:05:01,238 are you suggesting fisticuffs... 123 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,356 as in with our fists? 124 00:05:03,358 --> 00:05:06,043 And feet-- I'm a kicker. 125 00:05:06,045 --> 00:05:09,296 Well, well, looks like I just started eating 126 00:05:09,298 --> 00:05:11,165 white meat again. 127 00:05:11,167 --> 00:05:15,669 I will bite and scratch you like a wolverine. 128 00:05:15,671 --> 00:05:17,704 May I warn you, 129 00:05:17,706 --> 00:05:20,974 I have been in a fight before. 130 00:05:20,976 --> 00:05:23,227 So have I... sort of. 131 00:05:23,229 --> 00:05:25,395 Oh, God. 132 00:05:26,481 --> 00:05:28,515 Mr. Cootes. Hi. 133 00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:31,218 Did you see that we had hummus and veggies? 134 00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:33,320 There's hummus and veggies? 135 00:05:33,322 --> 00:05:34,554 Over there. 136 00:05:34,556 --> 00:05:37,057 Hey, I'm not gonna let that guy push me around. 137 00:05:37,059 --> 00:05:40,444 I believe it was Sun Tzu who wrote, "Never give up. 138 00:05:40,446 --> 00:05:41,411 Never surrender." 139 00:05:41,413 --> 00:05:42,946 Shut up, Ted. Okay. 140 00:05:42,948 --> 00:05:47,918 For God's sake, Lily, you're pregnant. 141 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:51,922 For God's sake, Te Lily's pregnant. 142 00:05:53,574 --> 00:05:54,791 (groans) 143 00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:56,193 Oh, man. 144 00:05:56,195 --> 00:05:57,911 Sorry about that. 145 00:05:57,913 --> 00:05:59,763 I don't need this right now, Ted. 146 00:05:59,765 --> 00:06:01,682 I shouldn't do this. 147 00:06:01,684 --> 00:06:02,916 - I shouldn't do this. - What? 148 00:06:02,918 --> 00:06:06,103 This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea! 149 00:06:06,105 --> 00:06:08,939 - What is? - I should just go. I should just go! 150 00:06:08,941 --> 00:06:11,642 Okay, okay, just tell me what is going on. 151 00:06:11,644 --> 00:06:14,228 I love my penis, Robin. 152 00:06:14,230 --> 00:06:16,530 Oh, Barney, you promised. 153 00:06:16,532 --> 00:06:19,032 I do! I love it! 154 00:06:19,034 --> 00:06:21,235 If I could kiss it, I would. 155 00:06:21,237 --> 00:06:23,954 I'd be lying if I told you I hadn't tried. 156 00:06:23,956 --> 00:06:26,123 I'm not comfortable with this conversation. 157 00:06:26,125 --> 00:06:29,943 Oh, come on, Robin, it's my penis we're talking about. 158 00:06:29,945 --> 00:06:32,162 - You've seen her-- she's magnificent. - She? 159 00:06:32,164 --> 00:06:35,132 Every penis is a girl, Robin. Everyone knows that. 160 00:06:35,134 --> 00:06:40,220 Like... ships and lake monsters. 161 00:06:40,222 --> 00:06:42,289 And Gouda! 162 00:06:42,291 --> 00:06:43,974 She's a beauta. 163 00:06:43,976 --> 00:06:45,225 Oh, Gouda. 164 00:06:45,227 --> 00:06:47,460 Well, I'll be back. 165 00:06:47,462 --> 00:06:49,462 Most of me, anyway. 166 00:06:50,315 --> 00:06:51,932 - Don't eat that. - What? 167 00:06:51,934 --> 00:06:53,934 Whoops! Oh, it's ruined. 168 00:06:53,936 --> 00:06:56,353 It's not ruined. Ten second rule. 169 00:06:56,355 --> 00:06:59,239 Eight, nine, ten, and it's ruined. 170 00:06:59,241 --> 00:07:01,158 This whole party's ruined. 171 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,144 I got a basement full of bees, 172 00:07:04,146 --> 00:07:06,496 and Ted almost got into a fight with Mr. Cootes. 173 00:07:06,498 --> 00:07:08,165 Lily, look around. 174 00:07:08,167 --> 00:07:09,816 Everyone's having an amazing time. 175 00:07:09,818 --> 00:07:11,018 It's a great party. 176 00:07:11,020 --> 00:07:14,838 Okay, maybe it's not a total disaster. 177 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,540 (Mickey screaming) 178 00:07:19,661 --> 00:07:21,528 What the hell was that?! 179 00:07:26,426 --> 00:07:27,927 (screaming) 180 00:07:28,597 --> 00:07:30,730 NARRATOR: So that's what happened in the living room. 181 00:07:31,975 --> 00:07:35,110 Now I'm gonna tell you what happened in the dining room. 182 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:38,524 Oh, no, that's not what you want. 183 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,429 Man, I can't believe these are vegan. 184 00:07:42,431 --> 00:07:43,663 I've had, like, 20 of 'em. 185 00:07:43,665 --> 00:07:45,915 I should get the name of this caterer. 186 00:07:45,917 --> 00:07:48,385 It's my kitten's Bat Mitzvah next week. 187 00:07:48,387 --> 00:07:50,837 She's finally becoming a cat. 188 00:07:50,839 --> 00:07:52,872 Oh, God, you are crazy. 189 00:07:52,874 --> 00:07:54,974 About cats. 190 00:07:54,976 --> 00:07:58,544 Cats are so honest and real with their affections. 191 00:07:58,546 --> 00:07:59,763 Ever since my divorce, 192 00:07:59,765 --> 00:08:01,564 it's just been one liar after another. 193 00:08:01,566 --> 00:08:04,884 That's why it's so refreshing to meet someone honest like you, 194 00:08:04,886 --> 00:08:07,720 Special Agent Gary Powers. 195 00:08:07,722 --> 00:08:09,105 Listen... 196 00:08:09,107 --> 00:08:12,776 I think we can agree there's something here. 197 00:08:12,778 --> 00:08:14,861 Something big... 198 00:08:14,863 --> 00:08:18,865 that looks and probably feels real. 199 00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:21,251 Maybe... 200 00:08:21,253 --> 00:08:22,952 we can go back to your place. 201 00:08:22,954 --> 00:08:25,905 I can't ask you to delay intercepting those asteroids. 202 00:08:25,907 --> 00:08:28,258 I do need to intercept those asteroids. 203 00:08:28,260 --> 00:08:30,126 I think we need to have sex right now. 204 00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:34,247 Meet me in the upstairs guest bedroom in two minutes. 205 00:08:34,249 --> 00:08:35,965 (both chuckle) 206 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,602 I'm just looking for the vegan spring rolls. 207 00:08:39,604 --> 00:08:40,970 Last one, sorry. 208 00:08:40,972 --> 00:08:42,388 Two minutes. 209 00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:44,808 How can they all be gone? The party just started. 210 00:08:44,810 --> 00:08:45,942 I know, right? 211 00:08:45,944 --> 00:08:48,278 Let's just put on some music. 212 00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,596 ♪ 213 00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:52,232 I'll, uh, I'll bring out the Gouda, 214 00:08:52,234 --> 00:08:54,433 we'll open a couple of bottles of wine... 215 00:08:54,435 --> 00:08:56,035 that are in the basement. 216 00:08:56,037 --> 00:08:57,370 Some jerk was just here. 217 00:08:57,372 --> 00:08:58,705 And he was all, like, 218 00:08:58,707 --> 00:09:00,240 "I can't believe these are vegan. 219 00:09:00,242 --> 00:09:01,407 I've had, like, 20 of 'em." 220 00:09:01,409 --> 00:09:04,627 Point me into the direction of this scoundrel. 221 00:09:04,629 --> 00:09:07,380 Um... it was that guy. 222 00:09:07,382 --> 00:09:10,233 Ted, baby Gouda's coming out. Look alive. 223 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:15,221 Lily, these spring rolls... ooh-ee! 224 00:09:15,223 --> 00:09:17,590 Kitchen, now. 225 00:09:17,592 --> 00:09:20,727 I can't believe that he's making us go to work tonight. 226 00:09:20,729 --> 00:09:22,595 I mean, I think it's time that somebody took him aside 227 00:09:22,597 --> 00:09:24,764 and told him this is not how you treat your staff. 228 00:09:24,766 --> 00:09:28,017 Well, I'm sort of busy with the party right now. 229 00:09:28,019 --> 00:09:30,136 Fine. I'll do it myself. But he's gonna scream at me, 230 00:09:30,138 --> 00:09:31,821 and you know that I can't stand up to screaming. 231 00:09:31,823 --> 00:09:34,140 Just go talk to him! I think I should go talk to him. 232 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,161 Barney... Ah, Lily, 233 00:09:38,163 --> 00:09:40,363 Ted ate all of the spring rolls. 234 00:09:40,365 --> 00:09:42,582 You could have had anything on that table! 235 00:09:42,584 --> 00:09:46,085 Mini pizzas, bacon-wrapped figs, 236 00:09:46,087 --> 00:09:47,120 pigs in blankets. 237 00:09:47,122 --> 00:09:50,156 There was even talk of an inbound Gouda! 238 00:09:50,158 --> 00:09:52,158 Robin. Okay, listen, I need your help. 239 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,294 I'm about to get in a screaming match with my boss, 240 00:09:54,296 --> 00:09:55,828 and I'm not good at getting screamed at, 241 00:09:55,830 --> 00:09:57,347 so I need you to warm me up. 242 00:09:57,349 --> 00:09:59,132 How? I want you to scream at me. 243 00:09:59,134 --> 00:10:01,351 You know, like you do to strangers on the street 244 00:10:01,353 --> 00:10:02,769 at the slightest provocation. 245 00:10:02,771 --> 00:10:04,137 I don't do that. 246 00:10:04,139 --> 00:10:05,772 Come on, lay some of that classic Scherbatsky 247 00:10:05,774 --> 00:10:07,273 mean son of a bitch on me. 248 00:10:07,275 --> 00:10:09,809 Treat me like I'm a Girl Scout trying to sell you cookies. 249 00:10:09,811 --> 00:10:11,895 Four dollars a box and you're out of Thin Mints?! 250 00:10:11,897 --> 00:10:15,315 You green little...! I don't do that! 251 00:10:15,317 --> 00:10:16,816 Come on, scream at me. 252 00:10:16,818 --> 00:10:19,068 (woman screams) Like that. 253 00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:20,286 It's fine. Everything's fine. 254 00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,622 Marshall, there is plenty of stuff 255 00:10:22,624 --> 00:10:24,574 that I don't get mad about, 256 00:10:24,576 --> 00:10:26,859 like the fact that you're serving pigs in blankets 257 00:10:26,861 --> 00:10:28,694 without hot mustard. 258 00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:31,664 I'm not the type of person to be driven crazy by a host 259 00:10:31,666 --> 00:10:34,050 who refuses to provide delicious hot mustard 260 00:10:34,052 --> 00:10:35,969 in which to dip my pigs in blankets! 261 00:10:35,971 --> 00:10:38,037 I'm the type of girl who... keeps her cool. 262 00:10:38,039 --> 00:10:40,006 Who keeps her cool. 263 00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,043 Wait. Whoa, baby, are you okay? 264 00:10:44,045 --> 00:10:46,212 Of course. This party is great. 265 00:10:46,214 --> 00:10:49,699 I am handling this. Oh, God. 266 00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:54,103 No... 267 00:10:54,105 --> 00:10:55,355 Hummus and veggies? 268 00:10:55,357 --> 00:10:58,074 I'm looking for hummus and veggies. 269 00:10:58,076 --> 00:11:00,743 Robin, can I talk to you about something very dear to me? 270 00:11:00,745 --> 00:11:02,612 Promise me this isn't about your penis. 271 00:11:02,614 --> 00:11:05,014 I promise it isn't about my penis. 272 00:11:05,016 --> 00:11:06,499 I'm sorry. 273 00:11:08,953 --> 00:11:11,688 Excuse me, sir, could I talk to you in the kitchen? 274 00:11:17,795 --> 00:11:19,178 Sorry about that. 275 00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:20,797 I don't need this right now, Ted. 276 00:11:20,799 --> 00:11:23,216 I swear, if there's one more crisis... 277 00:11:23,218 --> 00:11:25,101 Well, the bees escaped their enclosure, 278 00:11:25,103 --> 00:11:27,804 but no reason to "bee" concerned. 279 00:11:27,806 --> 00:11:29,856 (laughs) 280 00:11:29,858 --> 00:11:31,691 No, there is, we're in big trouble. 281 00:11:31,693 --> 00:11:33,309 What is that smell? 282 00:11:33,311 --> 00:11:35,594 Oh, I doused my suit with kerosene. 283 00:11:35,596 --> 00:11:37,263 All beekeepers do this. 284 00:11:37,265 --> 00:11:39,482 Dad, just take off the suit right now. 285 00:11:39,484 --> 00:11:40,283 All right, fine. 286 00:11:40,285 --> 00:11:42,101 Every 30 seconds, 287 00:11:42,103 --> 00:11:44,287 there's another crisis that needs to be dealt with 288 00:11:44,289 --> 00:11:45,955 and I have to deal with it. 289 00:11:45,957 --> 00:11:48,708 This is... Oh, God. 290 00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:50,326 This is parenthood, isn't it? 291 00:11:50,328 --> 00:11:51,577 So they say. 292 00:11:51,579 --> 00:11:53,162 Okay, it's official. 293 00:11:53,164 --> 00:11:55,548 I thought I could do it, but I can't. 294 00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:57,083 No, Marshall's always at work. 295 00:11:57,085 --> 00:11:58,551 He's got to go back tonight. 296 00:11:58,553 --> 00:12:00,503 And I don't know if I can handle a life 297 00:12:00,505 --> 00:12:02,805 that's just one crisis after another. 298 00:12:02,807 --> 00:12:05,124 Lily, listen to me. I'm gonna give you a little piece of... 299 00:12:05,126 --> 00:12:06,476 Gouda! 300 00:12:06,478 --> 00:12:07,460 God. 301 00:12:07,462 --> 00:12:09,312 Crisis? Crisis. 302 00:12:10,648 --> 00:12:12,815 - Don't eat that. Whoops! - What? 303 00:12:12,817 --> 00:12:14,150 Gouda's out, Ted. Don't sleep on the Gouda. 304 00:12:14,152 --> 00:12:15,351 Wouldn't dream of it. 305 00:12:15,353 --> 00:12:17,136 So Lily told me you have to go back to work tonight? 306 00:12:17,138 --> 00:12:18,855 No, I don't have to go back to work tonight. 307 00:12:18,857 --> 00:12:20,273 Mr. Cootes and I came to an understanding. 308 00:12:20,275 --> 00:12:21,658 But, hey, what's going on with Robin? 309 00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:23,609 I called her a mean son of a bitch 310 00:12:23,611 --> 00:12:24,810 and she took it all weird. 311 00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,446 - She did? - Yeah. 312 00:12:26,448 --> 00:12:27,630 Crazy, right? 313 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,365 Hey, buddy. 314 00:12:29,367 --> 00:12:31,034 Best housewarming party ever. 315 00:12:31,036 --> 00:12:33,486 Everybody's abuzz. 316 00:12:33,488 --> 00:12:34,987 Abuzz. 317 00:12:34,989 --> 00:12:36,539 Oh, good one, Mickey. 318 00:12:36,541 --> 00:12:37,840 But, hey, you're right. 319 00:12:37,842 --> 00:12:39,826 Great party. 320 00:12:39,828 --> 00:12:42,945 (man screaming) 321 00:12:46,684 --> 00:12:49,886 What the hell was that?! 322 00:12:51,694 --> 00:12:53,262 (man screaming) 323 00:12:53,666 --> 00:12:55,749 NARRATOR: And that's what happened in the dining room. 324 00:12:57,326 --> 00:13:00,494 Now I'm gonna tell you what happened in the kitchen. 325 00:13:01,474 --> 00:13:04,493 Oh, no, that's not what you want. 326 00:13:04,495 --> 00:13:06,929 BARNEY: Man, I can't believe these are vegan. 327 00:13:06,931 --> 00:13:08,130 Back to our fight? 328 00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:09,581 Back to our fight. 329 00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:11,900 I cannot believe you screamed at that woman at Zabar's. 330 00:13:11,902 --> 00:13:13,268 She was trying to cut in line. 331 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:14,753 She was gonna get the last kugel. 332 00:13:14,755 --> 00:13:15,971 She was 90 years old. 333 00:13:15,973 --> 00:13:18,107 It was probably gonna be her last kugel. 334 00:13:18,109 --> 00:13:19,942 Sometimes in life, you have to be assertive 335 00:13:19,944 --> 00:13:21,259 and stand up for yourself. 336 00:13:21,261 --> 00:13:22,594 You called her a whore. 337 00:13:22,596 --> 00:13:24,062 Who wears that much makeup?! 338 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,030 Old ladies! 339 00:13:25,032 --> 00:13:27,149 Who take money for sex. Exactly. 340 00:13:28,201 --> 00:13:29,535 Look, I'm sorry. 341 00:13:29,537 --> 00:13:32,270 If I would've left things in your dainty, lily-white, 342 00:13:32,272 --> 00:13:34,156 never-ripped- an-old-lady's-wig-off hands, 343 00:13:34,158 --> 00:13:36,208 we would be kugel-free right now. 344 00:13:36,210 --> 00:13:37,876 Oh, so, what, I'm too nice? 345 00:13:37,878 --> 00:13:39,461 You never stand up for yourself. 346 00:13:39,463 --> 00:13:41,914 Remember that sixth grader who kept stealing your lunch? 347 00:13:41,916 --> 00:13:44,750 High school was a tough time for me, okay? 348 00:13:44,752 --> 00:13:46,335 And that girl was muscular. 349 00:13:46,337 --> 00:13:48,003 Forearms like Popeye. 350 00:13:48,005 --> 00:13:49,638 How do you even know about that? 351 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,924 Marshall told me. He also said that 352 00:13:51,926 --> 00:13:53,342 you had your mom stop making 353 00:13:53,344 --> 00:13:54,893 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches 354 00:13:54,895 --> 00:13:56,628 because of that girl's nut allergy. 355 00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:58,347 I didn't want to add to her health problems. 356 00:13:58,349 --> 00:13:59,648 She was already in a wheelchair. 357 00:13:59,650 --> 00:14:01,299 Okay, so what? 358 00:14:01,301 --> 00:14:04,135 I would rather be nice than be like you, 359 00:14:04,137 --> 00:14:05,821 always getting in fights about stuff 360 00:14:05,823 --> 00:14:07,272 that's not even worth fighting about. 361 00:14:07,274 --> 00:14:08,473 Disagree. 362 00:14:08,475 --> 00:14:10,993 It's like Sun Tzu wrote in The Art of War, 363 00:14:10,995 --> 00:14:13,028 "Never give up. Never surrender." 364 00:14:13,030 --> 00:14:14,830 That was Tim Allen in Galaxy Quest. 365 00:14:14,832 --> 00:14:15,981 Whatever, dude. 366 00:14:15,983 --> 00:14:18,000 Your problem is any time you're faced with 367 00:14:18,002 --> 00:14:20,035 the least bit of confrontation, you run away. 368 00:14:20,037 --> 00:14:22,604 Oh, I run away from confrontation? 369 00:14:26,459 --> 00:14:28,794 Ted, baby Gouda's coming out. 370 00:14:28,796 --> 00:14:30,145 Look alive. 371 00:14:31,614 --> 00:14:33,182 Whoops. Son of a...! 372 00:14:33,184 --> 00:14:34,833 I'm sorry. (clears throat) 373 00:14:34,835 --> 00:14:36,552 Maybe that was my fault. 374 00:14:36,554 --> 00:14:37,719 You think? 375 00:14:37,721 --> 00:14:39,104 You're right in my snack track. 376 00:14:39,106 --> 00:14:41,557 Hey, nice beekeeper suit. 377 00:14:41,559 --> 00:14:44,676 Do you know that, uh, most bees are left-handed? 378 00:14:44,678 --> 00:14:47,145 Did you know bees hate the smell of kerosene? 379 00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,814 I knew that. Geez, what do you think, 380 00:14:48,816 --> 00:14:50,732 this is my first day as a beekeeper? 381 00:14:51,651 --> 00:14:53,402 Nice. Oh. 382 00:14:53,404 --> 00:14:56,071 (bees buzzing) Is that true about bees and kerosene? 383 00:14:56,073 --> 00:14:57,689 I don't know. 384 00:14:57,691 --> 00:14:59,074 Barney... 385 00:14:59,076 --> 00:15:00,075 Ah, Lily, 386 00:15:00,077 --> 00:15:02,244 Ted ate all of the spring rolls. 387 00:15:02,246 --> 00:15:04,079 Barney, that woman you were talking to, 388 00:15:04,081 --> 00:15:05,047 our neighbor Geraldine, 389 00:15:05,049 --> 00:15:06,648 some guy slept with her 390 00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:09,751 and didn't call her, so she hunted him down 391 00:15:09,753 --> 00:15:14,556 and cut off a certain part of his anatomy with a cheese knife. 392 00:15:14,558 --> 00:15:15,340 (gasps) 393 00:15:15,342 --> 00:15:17,009 So, whatever you do, 394 00:15:17,011 --> 00:15:18,510 don't sleep with her. 395 00:15:18,512 --> 00:15:22,347 It's funny, she is, um, waiting for me 396 00:15:22,349 --> 00:15:24,149 in the guest bedroom right now. 397 00:15:24,151 --> 00:15:26,051 Oh, God! Oh, God! 398 00:15:26,053 --> 00:15:28,570 That was the idea, but now forget it! 399 00:15:28,572 --> 00:15:29,855 Barney, this is a disaster. 400 00:15:29,857 --> 00:15:32,241 I swear, if there is one... (gasps) 401 00:15:33,109 --> 00:15:34,392 It's fine. Everything's fine. 402 00:15:34,394 --> 00:15:35,911 Hey, ten second rule, right? 403 00:15:35,913 --> 00:15:37,946 (Lily screams) 404 00:15:37,948 --> 00:15:40,365 It's fine. Everything's fine. 405 00:15:40,367 --> 00:15:42,868 Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! 406 00:15:42,870 --> 00:15:45,420 I know you're pregnant, but you need a glass of wine. 407 00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:47,238 I got that cheese off the Internet. 408 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,674 I know you got it off the Internet. 409 00:15:48,676 --> 00:15:50,008 Why does that make it impressive? 410 00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:52,094 You know what else you can find on the Internet? 411 00:15:52,096 --> 00:15:53,795 Zoo animals masturbating. 412 00:15:54,547 --> 00:15:55,597 There's one of a walrus. 413 00:15:55,599 --> 00:15:56,748 (chuckles) He's... 414 00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:58,934 Oh. 415 00:16:03,056 --> 00:16:04,773 (groans) 416 00:16:04,775 --> 00:16:06,291 (mutters) 417 00:16:06,293 --> 00:16:07,759 (gasps) 418 00:16:07,761 --> 00:16:09,761 (panting) 419 00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:12,981 No... 420 00:16:12,983 --> 00:16:14,700 (bees buzzing) 421 00:16:14,702 --> 00:16:16,068 (panting) 422 00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:18,203 Excuse me, sir, could I talk to you in the kitchen? 423 00:16:22,859 --> 00:16:24,543 (sighs) 424 00:16:24,545 --> 00:16:26,378 (clears throat) 425 00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:30,782 Mr. Cootes, I am not going back to work tonight. 426 00:16:30,784 --> 00:16:32,668 Oh, no, she didn't just say that. 427 00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:33,635 (laughs) 428 00:16:33,637 --> 00:16:35,253 Mickey, could we just have a minute? 429 00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:37,673 Oh, yeah. Sure. 430 00:16:39,142 --> 00:16:42,894 Marshall, look, I know when you started with this firm, 431 00:16:42,896 --> 00:16:44,596 it was all fun and games. 432 00:16:44,598 --> 00:16:48,400 The office chair races were particularly spirited. 433 00:16:48,402 --> 00:16:51,737 Until, of course, Gail went down the stairs. 434 00:16:51,739 --> 00:16:53,405 But for one brief moment, 435 00:16:53,407 --> 00:16:55,941 boy, did she fly. 436 00:16:55,943 --> 00:16:57,776 (sighs) 437 00:16:57,778 --> 00:17:00,028 I'm not here, I'm not here. 438 00:17:00,030 --> 00:17:02,364 Mr. Cootes, you're working yourself to death. 439 00:17:02,366 --> 00:17:04,816 Just cut loose a little. 440 00:17:04,818 --> 00:17:07,285 Have a beer, find a hobby. 441 00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:09,171 Look, son, it's very simple. 442 00:17:09,173 --> 00:17:11,990 Um, Mother Earth doesn't get a night off. 443 00:17:11,992 --> 00:17:13,208 Neither do you. 444 00:17:13,210 --> 00:17:14,593 Well, then I quit. 445 00:17:18,147 --> 00:17:20,932 And I don't know if I can handle a life 446 00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:22,851 that's just one crisis after another. 447 00:17:22,853 --> 00:17:25,137 Lily, listen to me. I'm gonna give you a little piece of... 448 00:17:25,139 --> 00:17:26,471 Gouda! 449 00:17:26,473 --> 00:17:27,439 Maybe he's right. 450 00:17:27,441 --> 00:17:29,725 Maybe I do need a hobby. 451 00:17:29,727 --> 00:17:31,360 Well, hey, how about beekeeping? 452 00:17:31,362 --> 00:17:34,446 Me? No. I-I don't know the first thing about bees. 453 00:17:34,448 --> 00:17:36,732 You want to know a secret? 454 00:17:36,734 --> 00:17:38,100 Neither do I. 455 00:17:38,102 --> 00:17:40,452 It's not a secret. 456 00:17:41,371 --> 00:17:42,487 Let me try this thing on. 457 00:17:42,489 --> 00:17:43,872 I'm gonna give you some privacy. 458 00:17:43,874 --> 00:17:45,707 All right, thank you. 459 00:17:45,709 --> 00:17:46,958 Okay. 460 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,410 Hey, buddy. 461 00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:50,245 Best housewarming party ever. 462 00:17:50,247 --> 00:17:51,963 Everybody's abuzz. 463 00:17:51,965 --> 00:17:54,449 (bees buzzing, timer beeping) 464 00:17:54,451 --> 00:17:57,052 Okay, maybe it's not a total disaster. 465 00:17:57,054 --> 00:17:58,220 Great party. 466 00:17:58,222 --> 00:18:01,022 (screaming) 467 00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:04,059 (screaming continues) 468 00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:12,484 Oh, my God. Oh! 469 00:18:12,486 --> 00:18:13,735 Oh, Mr. Cootes! 470 00:18:13,737 --> 00:18:15,103 Mr. Cootes, are you okay?! 471 00:18:15,105 --> 00:18:18,490 That was amazing! 472 00:18:18,492 --> 00:18:19,691 Did you see me?! 473 00:18:19,693 --> 00:18:22,077 I flew through the air like a human fireball 474 00:18:22,079 --> 00:18:23,361 and didn't get a scratch. 475 00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:24,913 Eat your heart out, Gail! 476 00:18:24,915 --> 00:18:25,897 (laughs) 477 00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:28,399 God, I feel so alive! 478 00:18:28,401 --> 00:18:30,001 I want to drink a beer. 479 00:18:30,003 --> 00:18:31,119 Oh, yeah. 480 00:18:31,121 --> 00:18:32,671 Okay, one beer, coming right up. 481 00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:35,424 Oh, and, uh, Marshall, 482 00:18:35,426 --> 00:18:39,077 I think we'll take the night off tonight, okay? 483 00:18:39,079 --> 00:18:40,846 Sounds good, yeah. 484 00:18:40,848 --> 00:18:42,964 But I'll see you Monday? 485 00:18:42,966 --> 00:18:45,217 Of course. 486 00:18:45,219 --> 00:18:46,218 Yeah. 487 00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:47,886 (sighs) 488 00:18:47,888 --> 00:18:51,556 You know, Robin, I've been thinking about it. 489 00:18:51,558 --> 00:18:54,192 Guess it's kind of nice you're such a badass. 490 00:18:54,194 --> 00:18:57,863 It's pretty badass you're so nice, Ted. 491 00:18:59,765 --> 00:19:04,319 Was I supposed to close the basement door? 492 00:19:04,321 --> 00:19:06,154 (bees buzzing) 493 00:19:06,156 --> 00:19:10,156 == sync, corrected by elderman == 494 00:19:15,373 --> 00:19:17,373 God, this feels so right! 495 00:19:17,375 --> 00:19:18,791 (chuckles) We're so great together. 496 00:19:18,793 --> 00:19:21,260 I want to spend every minute of every day with you. 497 00:19:21,262 --> 00:19:23,129 I never let you out of my sight for one second. 498 00:19:23,131 --> 00:19:24,797 Not one second, not one second. I don't! 499 00:19:24,799 --> 00:19:27,099 (chuckles) Oh, God! 500 00:19:27,101 --> 00:19:28,300 My last lover was not like this. 501 00:19:28,302 --> 00:19:29,802 He was the worst! 502 00:19:29,804 --> 00:19:32,938 Do you know, he didn't even come to my cat's bris. 503 00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:34,557 I mean, what? 504 00:19:34,559 --> 00:19:35,925 Well, we showed him. 505 00:19:35,927 --> 00:19:37,143 Yes, we did. 506 00:19:37,145 --> 00:19:40,262 Let's just say, the punishment fit the crime. 507 00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:41,730 I can't wait to tell everybody 508 00:19:41,732 --> 00:19:43,282 that we're boyfriend and girlfriend! (bees buzzing) 509 00:19:43,284 --> 00:19:44,433 Let's do it tonight. 510 00:19:44,435 --> 00:19:45,785 No, it's Lily and Marshall's party. 511 00:19:45,787 --> 00:19:47,102 We'll wait. 512 00:19:47,104 --> 00:19:50,239 We can do it at Mittens and Mr. Pepper's wedding. 513 00:19:50,241 --> 00:19:51,773 (bees buzzing) Or maybe something... 514 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:54,477 (screaming) visit tvshowslatest.blogspot.com to download 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net