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00:00:01,012 --> 00:00:03,880
NARRATOR: Kids, 2012 started out
kind of crazy.
2
00:00:04,544 --> 00:00:06,478
Barney met a girl named Quinn,
3
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,463
Kevin unproposed to Robin,
4
00:00:08,465 --> 00:00:09,731
I told Robin...
5
00:00:09,733 --> 00:00:11,099
I love you, Robin.
6
00:00:11,101 --> 00:00:11,933
When I asked if she
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00:00:11,935 --> 00:00:13,852
loved me back, she said...
8
00:00:13,854 --> 00:00:15,570
No.
9
00:00:15,572 --> 00:00:16,721
Marshall told Robin...
10
00:00:16,723 --> 00:00:18,690
You got to move out.
11
00:00:18,692 --> 00:00:21,810
And Robin did.
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00:00:28,918 --> 00:00:31,803
I can't even open
her bedroom door anymore.
13
00:00:32,538 --> 00:00:34,506
Why do I have
to be so sensitive?
14
00:00:34,508 --> 00:00:36,791
I don't know, bro.
15
00:00:36,793 --> 00:00:38,009
Look at me and that Quinn chick.
16
00:00:38,011 --> 00:00:39,294
You don't hear me
prattling on
17
00:00:39,296 --> 00:00:41,513
about how beautiful
her smile is,
18
00:00:41,515 --> 00:00:45,550
how her hair is like a waterfall
of honey-colored silk,
19
00:00:45,552 --> 00:00:48,970
how her eyes are like
a warm South Sea
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00:00:48,972 --> 00:00:52,256
kissed by the fire
and gold of sunrise.
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00:00:52,258 --> 00:00:54,258
I don't even remember
what she looks like.
22
00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:56,260
Dude, you obviously like her.
Can't you read
23
00:00:56,262 --> 00:00:57,445
between the lines, Ted?
24
00:00:57,447 --> 00:00:58,780
I obviously like her.
25
00:00:58,782 --> 00:01:00,365
How did this happen to me?
26
00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:03,601
When did I become such
a gooey romantic?
27
00:01:05,070 --> 00:01:06,488
Look, I think it's healthy
28
00:01:06,490 --> 00:01:09,240
that you have real feelings
for a woman
29
00:01:09,242 --> 00:01:11,242
instead of just seeing her
as an object.
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00:01:11,244 --> 00:01:12,577
Switch?
31
00:01:12,579 --> 00:01:13,294
Sure.
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00:01:13,296 --> 00:01:14,712
(snaps fingers)
33
00:01:14,714 --> 00:01:15,747
But why Quinn?
34
00:01:15,749 --> 00:01:17,281
I mean, you spent
one night with her,
35
00:01:17,283 --> 00:01:18,449
and she was kind of mean.
36
00:01:18,451 --> 00:01:19,834
We just connected.
37
00:01:19,836 --> 00:01:22,787
Emotionally, intellectually,
spiritually.
38
00:01:22,789 --> 00:01:23,755
So, mind-blowing sex?
39
00:01:23,757 --> 00:01:26,558
Mind-blowing sex!
40
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:30,228
For an hour afterwards,
I couldn't uncross my eyes.
41
00:01:30,230 --> 00:01:32,981
Which was awesome, because
when I went back for seconds,
42
00:01:32,983 --> 00:01:35,316
it was like having
a three-way with twins.
43
00:01:35,318 --> 00:01:37,402
So... call her.
44
00:01:37,404 --> 00:01:39,637
I would if I knew how
to get in touch with her,
45
00:01:39,639 --> 00:01:41,573
but I can't,
and it's driving me crazy.
46
00:01:41,575 --> 00:01:42,774
Everywhere I look,
I see her.
47
00:01:42,776 --> 00:01:44,192
I see her walking on the street;
48
00:01:44,194 --> 00:01:46,811
I see her shopping in the store;
49
00:01:46,813 --> 00:01:48,830
I see her dancing on that pole.
50
00:01:48,832 --> 00:01:50,915
I see her dancing
on that pole, too.
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00:01:50,917 --> 00:01:53,251
Oh, my God, that's Quinn.
52
00:01:53,253 --> 00:01:56,437
EMCEE: Gentlemen,
give it up for Karma.
53
00:01:57,498 --> 00:02:01,498
♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x18 ♪
Karma
Original Air Date on February 27, 2012
54
00:02:01,499 --> 00:02:05,499
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
55
00:02:10,436 --> 00:02:12,053
I really appreciate
you guys taking me in.
56
00:02:12,055 --> 00:02:13,104
I mean,
57
00:02:13,106 --> 00:02:14,606
I'm homeless,
58
00:02:14,608 --> 00:02:16,858
things between me and Ted
are still kind of weird.
59
00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:19,143
So, it's nice
to be around friends.
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00:02:19,145 --> 00:02:20,979
Well, stay as long
as you want, sweetie.
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00:02:20,981 --> 00:02:22,179
Oh, thank you.
62
00:02:22,181 --> 00:02:23,531
Mm.
63
00:02:23,533 --> 00:02:25,700
Now, I got you a journal.
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00:02:25,702 --> 00:02:26,951
I know this sounds lame,
65
00:02:26,953 --> 00:02:29,621
but it really helps work
through stuff to write about it.
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00:02:29,623 --> 00:02:30,955
Oh.
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00:02:30,957 --> 00:02:33,691
"Dear Diary. The fantasies
of killing Marshall's mom
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00:02:33,693 --> 00:02:34,876
"have become more vivid.
69
00:02:34,878 --> 00:02:36,861
Today, I scalped her with a ..""
Whoops,
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00:02:36,863 --> 00:02:38,663
that one's mine.
71
00:02:39,748 --> 00:02:41,631
You are going to have
so much fun here.
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00:02:41,635 --> 00:02:44,469
Oh, guys, please, do not feel like you
have to keep me entertained.
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00:02:44,804 --> 00:02:46,704
Well, you shouldn't have come
to East Meadow, Long Island,
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00:02:46,706 --> 00:02:48,506
Robin, if you didn't want
to be entertained.
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00:02:48,508 --> 00:02:50,808
Really? I didn't think
there was a ton to do here.
76
00:02:50,810 --> 00:02:53,144
Oh, apparently, someone
hasn't heard
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00:02:53,146 --> 00:02:55,263
of the Uniondale
Miniatures Museum.
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00:02:55,265 --> 00:02:57,482
You'll come for
the 19th century thimble art,
79
00:02:57,484 --> 00:03:01,069
but you'll stay for the
Dutch masters on bottle caps.
80
00:03:01,071 --> 00:03:01,936
Plus,
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00:03:01,938 --> 00:03:03,104
you'll be bowling
with two
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00:03:03,106 --> 00:03:06,441
charter members of the
East Meadow Alley Cats.
83
00:03:07,109 --> 00:03:08,159
"We're a hot dog eating team
84
00:03:08,161 --> 00:03:09,861
with a bowling problem."
85
00:03:09,863 --> 00:03:10,862
Shirley
86
00:03:10,864 --> 00:03:12,396
came up with that one.
87
00:03:12,398 --> 00:03:13,448
Great bowler, Shirley.
88
00:03:13,450 --> 00:03:15,450
She hit 280 the other day.
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00:03:15,452 --> 00:03:19,053
Unfortunately,
that was on her bathroom scale.
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00:03:19,838 --> 00:03:21,122
NARRATOR: When Robin moved out,
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00:03:21,124 --> 00:03:22,907
there was a hole in my life
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00:03:22,909 --> 00:03:24,792
in the shape
of an empty bedroom.
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00:03:24,794 --> 00:03:27,411
I filled it with a new hobby.
94
00:03:27,413 --> 00:03:29,213
(sizzling)
95
00:03:29,215 --> 00:03:30,581
(coughing)
96
00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:32,300
What are you doing
in my old room?
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00:03:32,302 --> 00:03:34,135
This room being empty
was bumming me out,
98
00:03:34,137 --> 00:03:35,853
so I decided
to do something healthy
99
00:03:35,855 --> 00:03:37,305
that would take my mind off you.
100
00:03:37,307 --> 00:03:38,756
Well, nothing says healthy
101
00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:40,892
like smoking 40 pounds
of pork loin
102
00:03:40,894 --> 00:03:42,226
in an unventilated room
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00:03:42,228 --> 00:03:44,729
while having an imaginary
conversation with your ex.
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00:03:44,731 --> 00:03:47,031
Just for that,
you're not getting any.
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00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:48,232
I'm not getting any?
106
00:03:48,234 --> 00:03:50,101
You're the one smoking
your own meat.
107
00:03:50,103 --> 00:03:51,152
Oh!
108
00:03:51,154 --> 00:03:52,987
(knocking)
109
00:03:52,989 --> 00:03:55,707
What am I gonna do
about this Quinn thing?
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00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:57,108
I want to ask her out again,
111
00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:59,210
but I don't know how I feel
about her being a stripper.
112
00:03:59,212 --> 00:04:01,829
Why would you have
an issue with that?
113
00:04:01,831 --> 00:04:04,465
I mean, you've dated convicted
felons, arms dealers...
114
00:04:04,467 --> 00:04:06,050
pageant moms.
115
00:04:06,052 --> 00:04:10,004
Hey, Quinn is someone I might
want to get serious with,
116
00:04:10,006 --> 00:04:11,495
not just pretend to be a judge
117
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:14,476
who can help her four year old clinch "little miss biloxi"
118
00:04:14,477 --> 00:04:17,729
(chuckles) Tiffany's mom really
wanted that tiara.
119
00:04:17,731 --> 00:04:20,798
In a city of eight
million people,
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00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,901
you happened to walk into
the club where she works?
121
00:04:23,903 --> 00:04:24,936
Maybe it's destiny.
122
00:04:24,938 --> 00:04:27,322
No, Destiny strips
at The Melon Patch.
123
00:04:27,324 --> 00:04:29,924
They're people, Ted;
try to keep them straight.
124
00:04:30,659 --> 00:04:32,593
Wait a minute.
125
00:04:32,595 --> 00:04:35,780
What if this is destiny?
126
00:04:35,782 --> 00:04:36,664
I just said...
127
00:04:36,666 --> 00:04:38,282
What if the universe
128
00:04:38,284 --> 00:04:41,336
is throwing us in each other's
path for some reason?
129
00:04:41,338 --> 00:04:42,537
More or less exactly what I...
130
00:04:42,539 --> 00:04:45,322
I don't care what you say,
this is destiny!
131
00:04:45,324 --> 00:04:46,374
Damn it, Ted!
132
00:04:46,376 --> 00:04:48,626
Why can't you ever root
for love?
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00:04:54,516 --> 00:04:55,499
Hey.
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00:04:55,501 --> 00:04:57,135
Hey.
135
00:04:57,137 --> 00:04:58,269
Quinn...
136
00:04:58,271 --> 00:04:59,437
No, listen,
137
00:04:59,439 --> 00:05:01,406
in here I'm Karma, okay?
138
00:05:01,408 --> 00:05:02,506
Got it.
139
00:05:02,508 --> 00:05:03,808
Uh, look, Karma,
140
00:05:03,810 --> 00:05:04,809
I swear
141
00:05:04,811 --> 00:05:06,994
I never say crap
like this, but...
142
00:05:06,996 --> 00:05:08,196
I think maybe
the universe
143
00:05:08,198 --> 00:05:10,581
is telling us something.
144
00:05:10,583 --> 00:05:12,183
You want to go out again?
145
00:05:12,185 --> 00:05:14,569
I'm sorry,
I don't date customers.
146
00:05:14,571 --> 00:05:15,870
What about destiny?
147
00:05:15,872 --> 00:05:17,789
I heard she's
over at The Melon Patch now.
148
00:05:17,791 --> 00:05:21,492
No, I mean like fate telling us
that we're supposed to be...
149
00:05:21,494 --> 00:05:22,660
Oh, listen, Barney,
150
00:05:22,662 --> 00:05:24,912
my manager is really
giving me the stink eye.
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00:05:24,914 --> 00:05:26,798
I have to get back to work.
152
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:27,832
Okay, wait, wait.
153
00:05:27,834 --> 00:05:29,550
What if I pay for a dance?
154
00:05:29,552 --> 00:05:30,501
That way,
155
00:05:30,503 --> 00:05:31,586
your manager's happy,
156
00:05:31,588 --> 00:05:32,920
and then I can to tell you
157
00:05:32,922 --> 00:05:34,705
why you should go on
another date with me.
158
00:05:34,707 --> 00:05:37,475
I guess there's
no reason why not.
159
00:05:37,477 --> 00:05:40,211
Okay, first off,
we have a lot in common.
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00:05:40,213 --> 00:05:41,596
For example,
161
00:05:41,598 --> 00:05:43,714
both of our jobs
are largely financed
162
00:05:43,716 --> 00:05:46,901
by drunk Asian businessmen.
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00:05:46,903 --> 00:05:48,770
Dear Diary.
164
00:05:48,772 --> 00:05:50,772
It is day four on this island,
165
00:05:50,774 --> 00:05:53,107
which the natives have dubbed
"Long Island,"
166
00:05:53,109 --> 00:05:54,575
perhaps referencing
167
00:05:54,577 --> 00:05:57,412
how each hour here feels
like it may never end.
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00:05:57,414 --> 00:05:59,697
So far, they have welcomed me
169
00:05:59,699 --> 00:06:03,734
and given me a rare glimpse
into their bizarre way of life.
170
00:06:03,736 --> 00:06:06,904
By "entertainment," they mean
table shuffle board,
171
00:06:06,906 --> 00:06:11,008
macramé classes, and other
non-stimulating activities
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00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:12,794
which are only used
in Manhattan
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00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:16,264
to calm down drug addicts
and the criminally insane.
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00:06:16,266 --> 00:06:20,034
A preliterate society,
their menus display pictures
175
00:06:20,036 --> 00:06:22,253
of the food they offer,
176
00:06:22,255 --> 00:06:24,522
everyone is forced
to sing "Happy Birthday"
177
00:06:24,524 --> 00:06:27,091
four or five times a meal,
178
00:06:27,093 --> 00:06:30,978
and dessert
has fireworks in it.
179
00:06:30,980 --> 00:06:34,115
In their lairs, they often don
a primitive shroud
180
00:06:34,117 --> 00:06:37,819
called a "Snugget,"
and it is not uncommon for them
181
00:06:37,821 --> 00:06:39,937
to go to sleep before 9 p.m.,
182
00:06:39,939 --> 00:06:41,772
fearing, as they do,
183
00:06:41,774 --> 00:06:43,407
the night.
184
00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:46,527
Also Diary, I think writing
in you is stupid,
185
00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:47,795
but you were a gift from Lily,
186
00:06:47,797 --> 00:06:49,330
and she's watching
me right now.
187
00:06:49,332 --> 00:06:52,884
Guys, um, I don't want
to overstay my welcome,
188
00:06:52,886 --> 00:06:55,619
and Patrice said that she would
take me off your hands.
189
00:06:55,621 --> 00:06:58,639
So, do you have
a train schedule or...
190
00:06:58,641 --> 00:06:59,891
Oh, yeah,
191
00:06:59,893 --> 00:07:00,892
um, but-but
192
00:07:00,894 --> 00:07:03,728
there's a-a problem
with the train.
193
00:07:03,730 --> 00:07:05,429
Big, big problem.
194
00:07:05,431 --> 00:07:06,330
There was a...
195
00:07:06,332 --> 00:07:08,599
Strike.
A lightning strike.
196
00:07:08,601 --> 00:07:11,802
That hit one of the picketers
who was on strike.
197
00:07:11,804 --> 00:07:13,938
During a thunderstorm.
198
00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:17,942
Plus,
199
00:07:17,944 --> 00:07:21,078
Yeah, she probably doesn't
even want you there.
200
00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:26,501
You guys are being weird.
201
00:07:27,035 --> 00:07:29,670
Oh!
Oh!
202
00:07:29,672 --> 00:07:32,323
Oh, my God, Robin,
I am so sorry.
203
00:07:32,325 --> 00:07:33,925
I'll throw these in the wash.
204
00:07:33,927 --> 00:07:36,844
They'll be dry
and folded in the morning.
205
00:07:36,846 --> 00:07:38,329
Or the weekend.
206
00:07:38,331 --> 00:07:39,997
And we can talk
about you leaving then.
207
00:07:39,999 --> 00:07:41,349
(quietly):
Or never.
208
00:07:41,351 --> 00:07:43,851
Wait, Lily, why don't...
(yawns loudly)
209
00:07:43,853 --> 00:07:45,853
It's 8:45,
time to hit the hay.
210
00:07:45,855 --> 00:07:47,939
LILY:
Good night!
211
00:07:47,941 --> 00:07:49,506
(lock clicks)
212
00:07:53,812 --> 00:07:55,646
So Ted, what healthy,
213
00:07:55,648 --> 00:07:58,182
not-at-all-crazy activity
are you up to now?
214
00:07:58,184 --> 00:08:01,852
I liked smoking meat,
but now I've got a new passion:
215
00:08:01,854 --> 00:08:03,454
wood.
216
00:08:03,456 --> 00:08:06,490
You hear these things that come
out of your mouth, right?
217
00:08:06,492 --> 00:08:08,025
(knocking)
218
00:08:12,130 --> 00:08:14,198
So I went back to
the Lusty Leopard.
219
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,716
You know what, Barney?
220
00:08:15,718 --> 00:08:18,753
I know I said I have a rule
about not dating customers,
221
00:08:18,755 --> 00:08:22,657
but you may have
convinced me to...
222
00:08:22,659 --> 00:08:24,208
(music stops)
Oh.
223
00:08:24,210 --> 00:08:25,643
Song's over, I got to go.
224
00:08:25,645 --> 00:08:27,878
Wait, no, what?
Convinced you to what?
225
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,848
I'm sorry, but manager's
giving me the stink eye.
226
00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:33,150
Ugh, get a life, Manager.
227
00:08:34,186 --> 00:08:35,719
What were you saying?
228
00:08:35,721 --> 00:08:38,139
Well, I was going to say
229
00:08:38,141 --> 00:08:41,826
that I do find you
very... charming.
230
00:08:41,828 --> 00:08:42,559
(chuckles)
231
00:08:42,561 --> 00:08:44,362
And funny...
232
00:08:44,364 --> 00:08:45,813
and sexy.
233
00:08:45,815 --> 00:08:48,666
And exciting and smart.
234
00:08:48,668 --> 00:08:51,002
You so get me.
235
00:08:51,004 --> 00:08:52,703
You know what, Barney?
236
00:08:52,705 --> 00:08:55,206
I have never done
this before,
237
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:58,909
but there's just
something about you.
238
00:08:58,911 --> 00:09:00,595
So I guess my answer is...
239
00:09:00,597 --> 00:09:02,129
(music stops)
(gasps) Oh.
240
00:09:02,131 --> 00:09:03,130
The song's over.
241
00:09:03,132 --> 00:09:04,849
Well, just finish the thought!
242
00:09:04,851 --> 00:09:06,384
But the manager.
God,
243
00:09:06,386 --> 00:09:07,385
I hate manager.
244
00:09:07,387 --> 00:09:09,320
(snoring)
245
00:09:09,322 --> 00:09:11,689
There. Your answer is...
246
00:09:11,691 --> 00:09:14,108
Maybe if we knew each other
a little better.
247
00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:15,092
(sighs)
248
00:09:15,094 --> 00:09:16,110
Tell me about yourself.
249
00:09:16,112 --> 00:09:18,112
Well, um, what can I tell you?
250
00:09:18,114 --> 00:09:19,113
I'm, um...
251
00:09:19,115 --> 00:09:21,282
charming and funny
252
00:09:21,284 --> 00:09:23,901
and sexy and...
253
00:09:23,903 --> 00:09:27,455
exciting and smart.
254
00:09:27,457 --> 00:09:29,457
Well, how can a girl
say no to that?
255
00:09:29,459 --> 00:09:31,826
How about we...
256
00:09:31,828 --> 00:09:33,794
go out on...
257
00:09:33,796 --> 00:09:37,581
aaaaaaaaa...
258
00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:39,417
aaaaaa...
259
00:09:39,419 --> 00:09:41,135
Ugh, these songs are so short.
260
00:09:41,137 --> 00:09:43,170
(groans)
261
00:09:44,072 --> 00:09:47,591
Uh, how much exactly
did you give Quinn?
262
00:09:47,593 --> 00:09:49,060
Eight, nine hundred bucks,
263
00:09:49,062 --> 00:09:51,896
plus whatever
my Rolex is worth.
264
00:09:51,898 --> 00:09:53,064
Whoa.
265
00:09:53,066 --> 00:09:54,098
I know.
266
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:57,134
Ted, I think I'm in love.
267
00:10:04,786 --> 00:10:06,404
Quinn is totally playing you.
268
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,371
What?
269
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:08,856
That's ridiculous.
270
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,091
If she were playing me,
271
00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:12,076
why would she agree
to go on a date with me?
272
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,495
You're different than
the rest of these schlubs.
273
00:10:14,497 --> 00:10:17,998
This one time only,
I'm going to break my rule.
274
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,864
Let's go out tomorrow night.
275
00:10:19,889 --> 00:10:21,089
Sweet!
276
00:10:21,147 --> 00:10:24,509
Oh, shoot!
I have to work tomorrow. Ugh!
277
00:10:24,996 --> 00:10:27,027
Hey! Brainstorm!
278
00:10:27,052 --> 00:10:28,797
What if we just have
our date here,
279
00:10:29,489 --> 00:10:30,861
It's a date.
280
00:10:31,312 --> 00:10:35,163
It's not a date, if you go into a
strip club and paying for lap dances.
281
00:10:35,164 --> 00:10:38,072
If it's not a date, why'd she
say, every fifth day was free?
282
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:39,887
Because that's
the Lusty Leopard's policy
283
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,556
on Friday nights, and I'm so mad
at you that I know that!
284
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:46,243
ROBIN: Dear Diary.
285
00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:48,162
It is day six on this island,
286
00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:51,882
and I begin to fear I am
more captive than guest...
287
00:10:52,567 --> 00:10:53,784
(screams)
288
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,169
Morning, sweetie.
289
00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:57,171
Up for croquet?
290
00:10:58,206 --> 00:11:00,574
Hey, uh, Lil, are you done
291
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,710
washing my clothes yet?
Because I...
292
00:11:02,712 --> 00:11:03,928
Oh, I am so sorry.
293
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:06,013
Your clothes accidentally
wound up in the bag
294
00:11:06,015 --> 00:11:08,065
I donated to Goodwill.
295
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,250
You gave away my clothes?
296
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:13,220
They were a bit fancy
for East Meadow.
297
00:11:13,222 --> 00:11:15,389
(whispers):
People were staring.
298
00:11:15,391 --> 00:11:18,976
Besides, we have
an extra Snugget.
299
00:11:20,095 --> 00:11:21,645
Try it.
300
00:11:22,931 --> 00:11:24,815
Try it, Robin.
301
00:11:26,735 --> 00:11:28,736
ROBIN: They're trying to make me
one of them, Diary.
302
00:11:28,738 --> 00:11:31,655
And I begin to fear...
303
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:34,041
I may like it!
304
00:11:36,628 --> 00:11:38,629
I can't believe we're
at a strip club,
305
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,931
and the biggest boob
in here is you.
306
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:43,300
It's a real date, Ted.
307
00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:46,303
And clearly you haven't
seen the DeSalvo twins.
308
00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:47,555
She's right over there.
309
00:11:47,557 --> 00:11:49,640
Barney...
Yowza!
310
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:52,292
You are not on a date.
311
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:53,611
Okay, look, prove it.
312
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:56,180
Prove that she's not just
taking advantage of you.
313
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:58,599
Get her to go out with
you anywhere but here.
314
00:11:58,601 --> 00:11:59,850
Fine!
315
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:02,319
Hey, sexy! You want a dance?
316
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:03,654
Yeah!
317
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,156
Uh, one thing, though.
318
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,491
Um, you'd be okay
with us having a date
319
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,309
somewhere besides here,
wouldn't you?
320
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:11,862
I was hoping you would ask that.
321
00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:14,582
I'm sorry it's
so expensive in here,
322
00:12:14,584 --> 00:12:16,700
but it's nice and private, huh?
323
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,169
Absolutely. And romantic!
324
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,287
It's our first getaway
as a couple!
325
00:12:21,656 --> 00:12:22,990
It's become clear to me, Diary,
326
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,875
that I must attempt
a dramatic escape.
327
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:28,095
I will fake a stomach ache
during dinner.
328
00:12:28,097 --> 00:12:30,297
Then, after Marshall and Lily
leave for bingo night,
329
00:12:30,299 --> 00:12:32,433
I will sneak out the back.
330
00:12:32,435 --> 00:12:35,302
I'll swipe Shirley's Rascal
and drive to the train station.
331
00:12:35,304 --> 00:12:37,337
Shirley's 42, by the way,
and rides a Rascal.
332
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:41,192
I swear, it's the second half
of Wall-E out here.
333
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,343
(two handclaps)
334
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,029
Bingo...
335
00:12:46,081 --> 00:12:48,866
was canceled.
336
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:55,506
Hey, sexy, you want a dance?
337
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,875
(chuckles) No,
I'm not a customer.
338
00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:59,359
My girlfriend works here.
339
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,162
She's right over...
340
00:13:02,164 --> 00:13:04,632
This one time only,
I'm gonna break my rule.
341
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:06,083
Let's go out tomorrow night!
342
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:07,034
Sweet!
343
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,319
Oh, shoot!
344
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:11,438
I have to work tomorrow. Ugh!
345
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,673
Hey! Brainstorm!
346
00:13:12,675 --> 00:13:14,592
What if we just have
our date here,
347
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:18,045
maybe in
the Champagne Room?
348
00:13:20,214 --> 00:13:22,750
That was our spot.
349
00:13:27,810 --> 00:13:29,427
Hey, gorgeous,
You want a dance?
350
00:13:30,429 --> 00:13:31,863
Is it a jig?
351
00:13:31,865 --> 00:13:33,965
'Cause if so, it's up.
352
00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:36,200
Sorry, I only had the last verse
353
00:13:36,202 --> 00:13:38,703
of "Hot For Teacher" to work
on that. What was that?
354
00:13:38,705 --> 00:13:42,606
You laid exactly the same line
on that guy that you did on me!
355
00:13:42,608 --> 00:13:43,624
Sweetie, that is just something
356
00:13:43,626 --> 00:13:46,294
I say to these
gullible losers here.
357
00:13:46,296 --> 00:13:47,912
They fall for it every time.
358
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:51,716
(chuckling): Bunch of losers!
359
00:13:51,718 --> 00:13:53,718
Oh, gosh, manager again.
360
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:54,919
He's looking at me like,
361
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,671
"Karma, why aren't you booking
more time
362
00:13:56,673 --> 00:13:57,838
in the Champagne Room?"
363
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,174
Well, we'll show him.
364
00:14:00,176 --> 00:14:02,793
No! You're playing me again!
365
00:14:02,795 --> 00:14:05,346
And you're not even trying hard!
366
00:14:05,348 --> 00:14:07,148
There's no manager there;
You're pointing at a fern!
367
00:14:08,984 --> 00:14:10,601
Ted was right.
368
00:14:10,603 --> 00:14:13,454
I bet he's home right now,
laughing at how dumb I am.
369
00:14:18,911 --> 00:14:21,612
Did I deserve this?
Absolutely.
370
00:14:21,614 --> 00:14:24,615
I have told
some outrageous lies.
371
00:14:24,617 --> 00:14:26,968
I have told women I was famous,
372
00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:28,336
a war hero,
373
00:14:28,338 --> 00:14:30,821
that sex with me would cure
their nearsightedness.
374
00:14:30,823 --> 00:14:32,456
Barney?!
375
00:14:34,343 --> 00:14:37,762
I probably deserved everything
you did to me and more.
376
00:14:37,764 --> 00:14:39,430
But I have been trying,
377
00:14:39,432 --> 00:14:42,416
and trying hard
to be a better person.
378
00:14:43,135 --> 00:14:44,185
Thanks for showing me
379
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:45,736
I had it right before.
380
00:14:53,228 --> 00:14:57,064
Look, I'm sorry we made you feel
a little suffocated,
381
00:14:57,066 --> 00:15:00,451
but were you really
just gonna sneak away?
382
00:15:00,453 --> 00:15:03,371
Well, it's just...
I really miss the city.
383
00:15:03,373 --> 00:15:05,706
I know you guys love it here,
and that's fine,
384
00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:07,024
We don't love it here!
385
00:15:07,026 --> 00:15:07,691
What?
386
00:15:07,693 --> 00:15:08,859
Come on, Robin,
387
00:15:08,861 --> 00:15:10,878
what kind
of life is this?
388
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,463
Going to canasta tournaments
389
00:15:12,465 --> 00:15:14,165
and high school
field hockey playoffs?
390
00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:16,751
Oh, I think North Bellmore
can take state.
391
00:15:16,753 --> 00:15:18,753
With Sophie's ankle?
Doubtful.
392
00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:20,888
Okay, but if you two
are so unhappy,
393
00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:22,890
why don't you just move
back to Manhattan?
394
00:15:22,892 --> 00:15:25,593
Because the suburbs are
better for the baby.
395
00:15:25,595 --> 00:15:28,729
Who says? Who says any place
is better for the baby
396
00:15:28,731 --> 00:15:30,931
if you two are unhappy in it?
397
00:15:32,884 --> 00:15:35,386
No, no,
we live here now.
398
00:15:36,054 --> 00:15:37,772
And, you know,
this place
399
00:15:37,774 --> 00:15:39,240
wouldn't seem
so bad if...
400
00:15:39,242 --> 00:15:42,126
we got one of our friends
to move out here.
401
00:15:42,778 --> 00:15:44,561
Oh, guys...
402
00:15:44,563 --> 00:15:47,531
Oh...
403
00:15:47,533 --> 00:15:50,267
I would rather set myself
on fire.
404
00:15:51,586 --> 00:15:54,571
NARRATOR: The next morning,
Barney learned that even in
405
00:15:54,573 --> 00:15:57,875
a city of eight million people,
there's no escaping Karma.
406
00:15:57,877 --> 00:16:00,428
(light music playing)
407
00:16:04,016 --> 00:16:05,082
(sighs)
408
00:16:05,084 --> 00:16:06,100
Oh.
409
00:16:06,102 --> 00:16:07,768
Oh, hey.
410
00:16:07,770 --> 00:16:10,554
Sorry, can't talk;
manager's watching.
411
00:16:12,474 --> 00:16:13,524
Look, I am sorry
412
00:16:13,526 --> 00:16:15,443
if I hurt your feelings;
it's a job.
413
00:16:15,445 --> 00:16:16,811
Yeah, well, at my job,
414
00:16:16,813 --> 00:16:18,729
we don't rip out
people's hearts for money.
415
00:16:18,731 --> 00:16:23,317
My company briefly backed
a lab in North Korea
416
00:16:23,319 --> 00:16:25,403
which did, but we sold it!
417
00:16:25,405 --> 00:16:27,321
You know, I've worked
at that club for a year.
418
00:16:27,323 --> 00:16:28,706
You practically live there,
419
00:16:28,708 --> 00:16:30,658
and you didn't even recognize me
the night we went out.
420
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:33,777
You can't pretend to be some
hurt little victim with me.
421
00:16:33,779 --> 00:16:34,829
I know you.
422
00:16:34,831 --> 00:16:36,047
Well, of course you do.
423
00:16:36,049 --> 00:16:37,614
I told you things
I don't tell anybody.
424
00:16:37,616 --> 00:16:38,799
I was honest with you.
425
00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,918
Yeah, because I believe you have
a gay black brother,
426
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,636
a friend lonely enough
to smoke his own meat
427
00:16:42,638 --> 00:16:44,472
and that your mom was a groupie
for Supertramp.
428
00:16:44,474 --> 00:16:47,508
They named
their band for her!
429
00:16:49,845 --> 00:16:51,628
You remembered all that?
430
00:16:51,630 --> 00:16:54,014
Well, yeah.
I mean,
431
00:16:54,016 --> 00:16:55,299
you're more interesting
than the lyrics
432
00:16:55,301 --> 00:16:57,935
to "Pour Some Sugar On Me"
for the 8,000th time.
433
00:16:59,938 --> 00:17:01,522
You know, it's funny.
434
00:17:01,524 --> 00:17:04,692
Almost every woman
I've ever met was wrong
435
00:17:04,694 --> 00:17:06,310
to give me a chance.
436
00:17:06,312 --> 00:17:09,463
You're the first woman
who's wrong not to.
437
00:17:12,817 --> 00:17:14,118
Large black coffee...
438
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,154
and whatever he's having.
439
00:17:17,156 --> 00:17:18,756
It's on me.
440
00:17:19,657 --> 00:17:22,009
The same.
441
00:17:22,011 --> 00:17:23,427
Thank you.
442
00:17:23,429 --> 00:17:25,846
You're welcome.
443
00:17:25,848 --> 00:17:28,849
1,700 more of these
and we're even.
444
00:17:28,851 --> 00:17:30,834
Uh, the song just ended.
445
00:17:30,836 --> 00:17:32,669
That mean you got
to get going?
446
00:17:32,671 --> 00:17:34,972
No.
447
00:17:34,974 --> 00:17:37,024
Do you have time
to sit with me?
448
00:17:37,026 --> 00:17:39,794
I don't know.
You're wearing my watch.
449
00:17:43,031 --> 00:17:45,733
Pottery.
Now you're making pottery.
450
00:17:45,735 --> 00:17:47,618
I needed a new vase...
451
00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,520
and some plates.
452
00:17:49,522 --> 00:17:50,788
And bowls.
453
00:17:50,790 --> 00:17:53,207
The china cabinet I built had
some design flaws.
454
00:17:53,209 --> 00:17:55,960
Why don't you just turn
this into a guest room?
455
00:17:55,962 --> 00:17:57,328
A guest room?
456
00:17:57,330 --> 00:17:59,363
(chuckles) You mean
a room ready and waiting
457
00:17:59,365 --> 00:18:00,697
for someone who isn't there?
458
00:18:00,699 --> 00:18:03,918
A room devoted to reminding me
that I'm still alone?
459
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,338
Yeah, I don't need that.
460
00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:12,176
Ted, no matter how many things
you put in this room...
461
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,445
I'll still be here.
462
00:18:15,847 --> 00:18:17,698
(knocking)
463
00:18:26,057 --> 00:18:26,723
Hey.
464
00:18:26,725 --> 00:18:28,909
Hey!
465
00:18:29,394 --> 00:18:30,778
Come on in.
466
00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:32,746
Thanks.
467
00:18:33,849 --> 00:18:36,283
Oh, um, thanks for packing up
the rest of my stuff.
468
00:18:36,285 --> 00:18:38,619
No problem. Uh, you
want some coffee?
469
00:18:38,621 --> 00:18:40,955
Uh, sure. Yeah?
Yeah.
470
00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:43,407
So, how are things?
471
00:18:43,409 --> 00:18:45,376
Good! You?
Great!
472
00:18:45,378 --> 00:18:47,361
You know, I actually
made this mug.
473
00:18:47,363 --> 00:18:48,929
Oh, yeah? Oh!
Yeah. Oh!
474
00:18:48,931 --> 00:18:51,599
Yeah, sorry, coffee's
a little strong.
475
00:18:52,717 --> 00:18:55,269
How was your stay
with Marshall and Lily?
476
00:18:55,271 --> 00:18:57,304
Uh... a little weird.
477
00:18:57,306 --> 00:18:59,440
They're not loving Long Island.
478
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:00,608
Oh.
479
00:19:00,610 --> 00:19:02,142
I think deep down, they realize
480
00:19:02,144 --> 00:19:04,111
it just... isn't a good fit.
481
00:19:04,113 --> 00:19:07,698
It's hard to admit that
sometimes.
482
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:09,567
Sure is.
483
00:19:09,569 --> 00:19:12,870
But I guess it's better
to face it and move on
484
00:19:12,872 --> 00:19:17,575
than try to force something that
just isn't meant to be, right?
485
00:19:17,577 --> 00:19:19,293
I think so.
486
00:19:19,295 --> 00:19:20,644
Yeah.
487
00:19:21,379 --> 00:19:22,546
So, what do you think
488
00:19:22,548 --> 00:19:24,098
you're gonna do
with my old room?
489
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:25,616
Haven't really thought about it.
490
00:19:25,618 --> 00:19:27,284
Oh!
491
00:19:33,275 --> 00:19:35,509
Who needs Manhattan?
492
00:19:35,511 --> 00:19:36,844
Yeah.
493
00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:38,962
(phone buzzes)
494
00:19:38,964 --> 00:19:40,964
Hmm, it's Ted.
He wants to know
495
00:19:40,966 --> 00:19:42,983
if we want to hang
out in the city.
496
00:19:42,985 --> 00:19:44,852
The next train leaves
in nine minutes.
497
00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:00,984
(door closes)
498
00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:05,956
TED: Dear Lily and Marshall,
I don't know if you know this,
499
00:20:05,958 --> 00:20:08,959
but I never took
your names off the lease.
500
00:20:08,961 --> 00:20:12,663
Well, today
I took my name off it.
501
00:20:12,665 --> 00:20:15,666
The apartment is now yours.
502
00:20:15,668 --> 00:20:18,502
And I think I finally figured
out the best thing
503
00:20:18,504 --> 00:20:20,471
to do with Robin's old room.
504
00:20:20,473 --> 00:20:22,606
(soft gasp)
505
00:20:29,314 --> 00:20:32,983
See, for me, this place has
begun to feel a little haunted.
506
00:20:32,985 --> 00:20:35,569
At first, I thought
it was haunted by Robin,
507
00:20:35,571 --> 00:20:38,439
but now I think
it was haunted by me.
508
00:20:38,441 --> 00:20:43,494
Well, no ghost is at peace
until it finally moves on.
509
00:20:44,713 --> 00:20:46,714
I need a change.
510
00:20:46,716 --> 00:20:48,749
And I think you do, too.
511
00:20:48,751 --> 00:20:51,418
This apartment needs
some new life.
512
00:20:51,420 --> 00:20:55,756
So, please, make our old home
your new home.
513
00:20:55,758 --> 00:20:58,275
It is now ghost-free.
514
00:20:58,277 --> 00:20:59,893
Love, Ted.
515
00:20:59,895 --> 00:21:03,895
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
completed by Gabor
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net