1 00:00:19,744 --> 00:00:24,064 Oh, you look like you're coming from a wedding. 2 00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:25,432 Was it a nice one? 3 00:00:25,434 --> 00:00:29,820 Uh, it's a long story, and I don't mean to be rude, 4 00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:32,523 but I really don't feel like talking about it. 5 00:00:34,742 --> 00:00:37,611 It all started when the bride asked to see me... 6 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,615 Wow. 7 00:00:41,617 --> 00:00:44,201 Okay, don't sugarcoat it, Mosby. 8 00:00:44,203 --> 00:00:46,537 Just give it to me straight, okay? 9 00:00:46,539 --> 00:00:48,171 How bad is Barney freaking out right now? 10 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:49,823 Oh, he's fine. 11 00:00:49,825 --> 00:00:51,658 No, I'm serious. He's totally fine. 12 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,176 I have a better tie at home! 13 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:54,344 It's cornflower blue! 14 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,796 It's cornflower blue! 15 00:00:55,798 --> 00:00:59,550 You may rest assured, Barney Stinson is absolutely 100% 16 00:00:59,552 --> 00:01:00,801 going through with this wedding. 17 00:01:00,803 --> 00:01:02,719 Okay. 18 00:01:02,721 --> 00:01:05,339 Good news. 19 00:01:05,341 --> 00:01:08,508 Um, just one small issue, uh... 20 00:01:08,510 --> 00:01:11,395 I can't go through with this wedding. 21 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:19,033 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x01 ♪ Farhampton Original Air Date on September 24, 2012 22 00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:23,034 == sync, corrected by elderman == 23 00:01:24,158 --> 00:01:26,827 Okay, calm down, everyone feels this way 24 00:01:26,829 --> 00:01:27,794 on their wedding day. 25 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,029 It'll pass. No. 26 00:01:29,031 --> 00:01:29,997 It's more than that. 27 00:01:29,999 --> 00:01:31,882 I'm having a serious crisis. 28 00:01:33,534 --> 00:01:36,887 And I wonder if it would be hard to climb out that window. 29 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,472 Uh, climbing out's easy. 30 00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,507 Climbing in's the real challenge. 31 00:01:40,509 --> 00:01:41,925 Oh, right. 32 00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:43,226 It's the same window, isn't it? 33 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,544 Yeah. 34 00:01:44,546 --> 00:01:47,481 That story transpired in May of 2012. 35 00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:50,901 As you may recall, Lily and Marshall were gloriously happy 36 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,236 having just welcomed your cousin Marvin. 37 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:56,222 While Barney and Quinn were gloriously happy 38 00:01:56,224 --> 00:01:58,909 having just gotten engaged. 39 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:01,194 And Robin, well... 40 00:02:01,196 --> 00:02:02,579 Ah, got it! 41 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:06,066 Man, that sum'bitch had been in there since breakfast! 44 00:02:10,238 --> 00:02:11,338 I think there's some in the fridge. 45 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,572 We'll get it. 46 00:02:12,574 --> 00:02:14,741 We're totally not gonna go have sex in the kitchen, 47 00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:15,842 if that's what you're thinking. 48 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:16,877 Aw, we're not? 49 00:02:16,879 --> 00:02:18,078 No, no, we are. I already took off your bra. 50 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,546 Oh! 51 00:02:21,215 --> 00:02:23,550 Hey, are you guys sure you can handle champagne? 52 00:02:23,552 --> 00:02:25,469 You haven't slept in like a week. 53 00:02:25,471 --> 00:02:26,853 We should just call it a night. 54 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,805 Oh, I see what this is about. 55 00:02:28,807 --> 00:02:31,308 You feel weird because Barney's engaged. 56 00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,275 What?! 57 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,810 No. Of course not. 58 00:02:33,812 --> 00:02:35,762 And I will tell you why it's not weird. 59 00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:36,780 What's not weird? 60 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,098 The fact that Barney's engaged. 61 00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,116 Barney's engaged?! 62 00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:40,317 Heck, this calls for some champagne. 63 00:02:40,319 --> 00:02:41,785 I think there's some in the fridge. 64 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,453 Oh, my God, why don't you both just admit it: 65 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:46,740 You're deliriously exhausted. 66 00:02:46,742 --> 00:02:48,208 We're fine! 67 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,943 Really? We're not gonna be 68 00:02:49,945 --> 00:02:51,495 the kind of people who have a baby 69 00:02:51,497 --> 00:02:53,279 and become total zombies. 70 00:02:53,281 --> 00:02:54,381 Yes, Robin. 71 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,449 We're not gonna be the kind of people 72 00:02:56,451 --> 00:02:58,085 that have a zombie and become total babies. 73 00:02:58,087 --> 00:03:00,087 Okay, well, what the I was saying is... 74 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,680 Do you understand? 75 00:03:09,682 --> 00:03:12,149 Yes! God, yes! 76 00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:14,300 You are preaching to the choir, sister. 77 00:03:14,302 --> 00:03:16,302 Whew! 78 00:03:16,304 --> 00:03:17,938 Hey. So... 79 00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:21,108 I am thinking about my bridal party 80 00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:23,610 and, uh, I don't have a lot of girlfriends. 81 00:03:23,612 --> 00:03:25,112 I mean, I have work friends, 82 00:03:25,114 --> 00:03:26,029 but I worked at a strip club 83 00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,647 and I know they'll just complain 84 00:03:27,649 --> 00:03:30,917 about any bridesmaid's dress that has a front, so... 85 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,003 Would you guys be my bridesmaids? 86 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,038 I'd be honored. Yes! 87 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,540 Not you, Marshall. 88 00:03:36,542 --> 00:03:38,425 But, yay, thank you! Oh. 89 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:39,459 Oh, thank you. Oh, my gosh. 90 00:03:39,461 --> 00:03:41,378 It's gonna be so much fun. 91 00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:44,164 Yeah, now it's weird. 92 00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:45,515 What's weird? 93 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,968 Me being Quinn's bridesmaid. 94 00:03:47,970 --> 00:03:50,137 Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, sweetie. 95 00:03:50,139 --> 00:03:51,521 She probably won't even ask you. 96 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:52,556 She just did. 97 00:03:52,558 --> 00:03:54,007 And we both said yes. 98 00:03:54,009 --> 00:03:56,860 Heck, this calls for some champagne. 99 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,012 I think there's some in the fridge. 100 00:03:59,014 --> 00:04:01,565 Meanwhile, I was also gloriously happy, 101 00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:03,784 driving off into the sunset with Victoria, 102 00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:06,787 who left her fiance Klaus at the altar for me. 103 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,188 There was just one problem. 104 00:04:08,190 --> 00:04:10,690 I wonder if Klaus found your note yet. 105 00:04:10,692 --> 00:04:11,691 My note? 106 00:04:11,693 --> 00:04:12,859 Yeah, you know, 107 00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,045 the "I'm leaving you at the altar" note. 108 00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,296 Is that a thing? 109 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,700 When you leave someone at the altar, you always leave a note. 110 00:04:20,702 --> 00:04:22,002 It's common courtesy. 111 00:04:22,004 --> 00:04:25,088 I think common courtesy went out the window when I did. 112 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,808 Look, when Stella left me at the altar, 113 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,375 at least I got an explanation. 114 00:04:29,377 --> 00:04:32,378 I mean, that note is what keeps you sane. 115 00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:35,682 You read it, you re-read it, you memorize it, 116 00:04:35,684 --> 00:04:38,318 you sleep with it, you sniff it 117 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,770 because it still kind of smells like her, 118 00:04:39,772 --> 00:04:41,104 and then, finally... 119 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,906 you let it go... 120 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,908 tied to a brick, right through her perfect 121 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,559 little suburban bay window. 122 00:04:46,561 --> 00:04:48,612 I'll just text him. 123 00:04:48,614 --> 00:04:50,580 You're leaving a note. 124 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,234 So, Barney and I have already disagreed 125 00:04:54,236 --> 00:04:55,669 on a few of the wedding details. 126 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,504 I want to go with a buffet, 127 00:04:57,506 --> 00:05:00,290 and he wants to ride down the aisle on a grizzly bear. 128 00:05:00,292 --> 00:05:02,459 He'll be wearing a tux. 129 00:05:03,711 --> 00:05:05,762 Fine, fine, I'll settle for a panda bear, 130 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,247 but you have to call my tailor. 131 00:05:07,249 --> 00:05:09,082 He'll be furious about the switch. 132 00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:11,151 Hey, Barney, uh... 133 00:05:11,153 --> 00:05:12,469 We've gotta talk. 134 00:05:12,471 --> 00:05:16,139 Um, Quinn just asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. 135 00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:18,975 Isn't she even a little weirded out that you and I used to date? 136 00:05:18,977 --> 00:05:22,062 Quinn doesn't have a jealous bone in her body. 137 00:05:22,064 --> 00:05:23,446 She rolls with the punches. 138 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,532 She... Doesn't have a clue. 139 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,167 No, she does not. 140 00:05:27,169 --> 00:05:28,702 Okay. 141 00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:30,770 Okay. 142 00:05:30,772 --> 00:05:33,206 "Klaus, there is no easy way to tell you 143 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,108 why I won't be marrying you today. 144 00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:38,111 Have a great summer, Victoria." 145 00:05:38,113 --> 00:05:39,946 That's it? 146 00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:42,448 No, no, we gotta do this right. 147 00:05:42,450 --> 00:05:44,217 Well, you can't write it. 148 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,003 One look, it's gonna be obvious it's a guy's handwri... 149 00:05:47,005 --> 00:05:49,139 Oh no, we're good. 150 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:52,008 Okay, fine, you write, I'll advise. 151 00:05:53,929 --> 00:05:54,928 "Klaus." 152 00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,096 Just "Klaus"? 153 00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:57,931 Come on, give it some heart, the poor guy. 154 00:05:57,933 --> 00:06:01,101 "Dear sweet Klaus..." 155 00:06:01,103 --> 00:06:02,769 "Sweet?" What, are you still in love with this jerk? 156 00:06:02,771 --> 00:06:04,688 I'm doing this on my own. 157 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,809 I'm sorry, I just... 158 00:06:09,811 --> 00:06:12,112 you know, I feel bad for the guy. 159 00:06:12,114 --> 00:06:15,148 I'm stealing the greatest girl in the world away from him. 160 00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:17,868 You're not stealing me. 161 00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:19,870 I'm choosing you. 162 00:06:24,508 --> 00:06:27,794 Because you are loving 163 00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:30,380 and you are caring... 164 00:06:30,382 --> 00:06:33,266 and you are going to go deliver this note. 165 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,968 Wait, you want me to go in there? 166 00:06:34,970 --> 00:06:37,971 It took everything I had to climb out 167 00:06:37,973 --> 00:06:39,222 that church window today. 168 00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:42,642 and if I have to go back in there, 169 00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:45,395 I'm not sure I can do it again. 170 00:06:57,158 --> 00:06:58,825 It has to smell like you. 171 00:07:03,986 --> 00:07:07,229 So Quinn has no idea that we used to date? 172 00:07:07,396 --> 00:07:08,478 None whatsoever. 173 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,447 Okay, Barney, think this through. 174 00:07:10,449 --> 00:07:13,483 Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with Quinn... 175 00:07:13,485 --> 00:07:14,600 Oh, God, you have a point. 176 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:15,619 Haven't gotten to it yet. 177 00:07:17,239 --> 00:07:19,122 Of course. Continue. 178 00:07:19,124 --> 00:07:21,791 Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with Quinn 179 00:07:21,793 --> 00:07:23,109 and keep this secret? 180 00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,628 I mean, she's gonna find out. 181 00:07:24,630 --> 00:07:26,880 Quinn's not gonna find out because I've destroyed 182 00:07:26,882 --> 00:07:29,499 every piece of evidence that you and I were ever a couple. 183 00:07:29,501 --> 00:07:30,917 That's ridiculous. 184 00:07:30,919 --> 00:07:33,003 You couldn't have gotten rid of all of it. 185 00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:41,294 You replaced me with a tiger. 186 00:07:41,296 --> 00:07:42,962 I couldn't completely get you out of that one. 187 00:07:42,964 --> 00:07:44,180 Had to get creative. 188 00:07:44,182 --> 00:07:48,301 Well, I'm glad that deleting our entire time together 189 00:07:48,303 --> 00:07:49,802 was so easy for you. 190 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:52,689 But I guarantee you: Quinn is gonna find out eventually. 191 00:07:52,691 --> 00:07:53,940 No, she won't. 192 00:07:53,942 --> 00:07:55,191 I just need your help. 193 00:07:55,193 --> 00:07:56,326 Yours, too. 194 00:07:56,328 --> 00:07:57,477 I know you're out of it, 195 00:07:57,479 --> 00:07:59,362 but you have to promise not to tell Quinn, okay? 196 00:07:59,364 --> 00:08:00,780 Tell Quinn what? 197 00:08:00,782 --> 00:08:01,814 Exactly. 198 00:08:01,816 --> 00:08:03,149 No, she's really asking. 199 00:08:03,151 --> 00:08:04,501 Tell Quinn what? 200 00:08:09,925 --> 00:08:13,659 Ooooooh... 201 00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:25,305 Can't climb the drainpipe. What? 202 00:08:25,307 --> 00:08:27,173 When I was in fourth grade, I couldn't climb the rope 203 00:08:27,175 --> 00:08:29,025 in gym class and all the other kids made fun of me, 204 00:08:29,027 --> 00:08:30,360 even though it wasn't my fault. 205 00:08:30,362 --> 00:08:32,479 I had to go after Efthimios Papajapoulos. 206 00:08:32,481 --> 00:08:34,397 The rope was slick with lamb grease! 207 00:08:34,399 --> 00:08:37,517 Okay, so just walk in the front door 208 00:08:37,519 --> 00:08:38,618 and act like you belong. 209 00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:39,685 Here. 210 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,237 Here's the key to the dressing room. 211 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,696 Can I help you? 212 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:53,083 Hi. I'm the church handyman. 213 00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,585 I'm here to fix the broken thing. 214 00:08:55,587 --> 00:08:56,536 It's busted. 215 00:08:56,538 --> 00:08:58,922 The bride is taking a "schnooze." 216 00:08:58,924 --> 00:09:01,925 She asked me to stand watch so that no one disturbs her. 217 00:09:01,927 --> 00:09:03,410 I'll be quick. 218 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:04,644 You will be dead. 219 00:09:04,646 --> 00:09:06,563 I used to wrestle in Leipzig. 220 00:09:06,565 --> 00:09:07,647 You know what? 221 00:09:07,649 --> 00:09:08,598 A note's redundant. 222 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,066 You're not there. He gets it. 223 00:09:10,068 --> 00:09:12,602 No, you were right, I have to leave a note. 224 00:09:12,604 --> 00:09:13,686 It's common courtesy. 225 00:09:13,688 --> 00:09:15,405 Well, it's not gonna be possible 226 00:09:15,407 --> 00:09:17,657 with Andrea the Giant standing guard up there. 227 00:09:17,659 --> 00:09:19,609 Oh, right, Klaus's sister. 228 00:09:19,611 --> 00:09:21,261 It's too bad Barney's not here. 229 00:09:21,263 --> 00:09:23,747 Man, he lives for bridesmaids. 230 00:09:23,749 --> 00:09:25,198 Right, but he's not. 231 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,733 And it's not like he could seduce Uta over the phone. 232 00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:31,004 Challenge accepted! 233 00:09:31,006 --> 00:09:33,106 Honey, it's not cheating if it's on the phone, right? 234 00:09:33,108 --> 00:09:34,073 Say what now? 235 00:09:34,075 --> 00:09:35,074 Quinn's on board! 236 00:09:35,076 --> 00:09:36,092 Text me her number! 237 00:09:36,094 --> 00:09:40,013 You filthy, disgusting man! 238 00:09:40,015 --> 00:09:43,916 But yes, I will do that to myself at your instruction. 239 00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:45,769 Let me find a broom closet. 240 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,190 Oh, ja, good. 241 00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,370 I did it. I did it! 242 00:10:04,372 --> 00:10:05,622 You're amazing. 243 00:10:05,624 --> 00:10:07,273 Let's get out of here. 244 00:10:11,495 --> 00:10:13,830 I left the car keys in the dressing room. 245 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,467 Pretty sure the door locked behind me. 246 00:10:20,639 --> 00:10:23,623 Oh, God... Oh, God... Oh, God... 247 00:10:23,625 --> 00:10:26,009 I found it kind of insulting that Barney doesn't 248 00:10:26,011 --> 00:10:27,760 think we can keep this secret. 249 00:10:27,762 --> 00:10:30,897 I mean, yeah, Marvin's keeping us up all night. 250 00:10:30,899 --> 00:10:34,317 But he's still the prettiest little girl in the city. 251 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,904 Baby, did you just hear yourself? 252 00:10:37,906 --> 00:10:41,474 You said, "Prettiest little girl in the city." 253 00:10:41,476 --> 00:10:42,859 I think you meant "country"" 254 00:10:42,861 --> 00:10:44,944 Yeah. 255 00:10:44,946 --> 00:10:46,579 I mean, what does Barney think? 256 00:10:46,581 --> 00:10:48,364 We're just gonna blurt out that he used to date... 257 00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:49,616 Shh! 258 00:10:49,618 --> 00:10:53,486 Oh... that was close. 259 00:10:53,488 --> 00:10:55,154 Quinn could've heard us through the... 260 00:10:56,458 --> 00:10:57,957 Good catch! 261 00:10:57,959 --> 00:11:01,711 I almost just blurted out that Barney used to date Robin! 262 00:11:01,713 --> 00:11:03,046 Barney used to date Robin?! 263 00:11:06,518 --> 00:11:07,934 When did you get in here? 264 00:11:07,936 --> 00:11:10,019 Like, ten minutes ago when you said, 265 00:11:10,021 --> 00:11:12,856 "Hey Quinn, let's all go hang out in Marvin's room." 266 00:11:13,858 --> 00:11:16,842 Aufwiedersehen, fraulein. 267 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,978 You know, I hate to perpetuate the stereotype, 268 00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:23,483 but German female wrestlers from Saxony are just begging for it. 269 00:11:23,485 --> 00:11:24,684 You dated Robin? 270 00:11:24,686 --> 00:11:27,403 Verdammt! 271 00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:33,914 I'm sorry I lied to you. I'll tell you everything. 272 00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:36,360 The whole story. Fine. You have one minute 273 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,728 before I walk out that door. 274 00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:40,415 Um, it's, uh, kind of a long story, Quinn. 275 00:11:40,417 --> 00:11:42,033 Gonna take a bit little longer than a minute. 276 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,768 52 seconds. 277 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,753 Seven years ago, when Marshall and Lily got engaged, 278 00:11:45,755 --> 00:11:47,922 Ted saw Robin across a crowded room, and I said, "Oh, yeah, 279 00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,707 you just know she likes it dirty," but Ted really liked her 280 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,209 so we played "Have you met Ted?" 281 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,927 They went to dinner, he walked her home, shoulda kissed her, 282 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,579 didn't-- lame-- so he stole a smurf penis, went back 283 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:55,847 to her place, should've kissed her, didn't-- lame. 284 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,415 He threw three parties, they kissed on the roof, 285 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,800 but decided to be friends-- lame-- 286 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,218 then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding, 287 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,686 she couldn't go, he went alone and met Victoria, 288 00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,304 didn't kiss her either-- lame-- not a great closer, Ted-- 289 00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:05,256 but he finally kissed her, they started dating, 290 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,225 she went to Germany, Ted kissed Robin, lost Victoria, 291 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,277 Ted did a rain dance, got Robin, Ted and Robin broke up, 292 00:12:09,279 --> 00:12:11,112 Robin moved to Brazil, came back with a Latin stud, 293 00:12:11,114 --> 00:12:13,097 Ted got jealous, got a tramp stamp, not really relevant 294 00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,482 to the story I just like mentioning that 295 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,284 as much as possible, I hooked up with Robin, Ted and I stopped 296 00:12:16,286 --> 00:12:18,102 being friends, Ted got hit by a bus, we made up... 297 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,406 Robin and I started dating, I got fat, her hair fell out. 298 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,874 We broke up, Robin dated Don, I dated Nora, 299 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,075 cheated on her with Robin, I dumped Nora, 300 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,410 Robin dated Kevin, but not for long, 301 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,411 and then I met you and you took my grandpa's watch 302 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,829 but I fell in love with you anyway, 303 00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,163 and you let me fart in front of you and I asked you to marry me 304 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,781 and you said yes and we came over here to meet little Marvin 305 00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:32,133 and that's everything! 306 00:12:32,135 --> 00:12:34,836 Also I went on the Price Is Right and won a dune buggy. 307 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,323 Goodbye, Barney. 308 00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:40,391 Good... I j... 309 00:12:42,144 --> 00:12:43,745 She lets you fart in front of her? 310 00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:45,630 Barney... 311 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:48,633 you go get that girl. 312 00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:05,166 Oh, God! 313 00:13:05,168 --> 00:13:07,001 You cannot tell anyone that you saw me. 314 00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:08,152 I cannot get married today! 315 00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:09,170 Klaus? 316 00:13:09,172 --> 00:13:10,838 Oh, I'm a mess. 317 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,257 I threw up in the cloakroom, I blamed a small child. 318 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:14,258 I cannot get married. 319 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,426 I left a note. 320 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:16,961 Good for you. Not everyone thinks of that. 321 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:17,962 Who doesn't leave a note? 322 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:18,963 It's common courtesy. 323 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,665 Thank you! 324 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,500 Do you have the time? Um... 325 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:23,801 Yeah, it's 20 after 7:00. 326 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:24,886 Ah, sehr gut. 327 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,854 I can still make the 8:05 back to the city. 328 00:13:26,856 --> 00:13:28,556 Auf wiedersehen! 329 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:29,724 And suddenly it hit me: 330 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:33,511 a way to absolve Victoria of any blame. 331 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:37,065 All I had to do was climb that drainpipe. 332 00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:05,393 What? No, Klaus, no. 333 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:20,074 Mach schnell, sleepyhead, it's time to... 334 00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,659 I know about you and Barney. 335 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,828 Who told her?! 336 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,279 You guys did. 337 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,281 God, go to sleep. 338 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:31,285 Okay, no one is going anywhere until we find out who told you. 339 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,620 Look... 340 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,673 there is nothing going on between me and Robin. 341 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,425 And why should I believe that? 342 00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:39,377 Well, for starters, I have a boyfriend. 343 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,912 No, Robin, you don't have to do this. 344 00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:43,247 There've been enough lies. 345 00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:44,766 I'm not lying. 346 00:14:44,768 --> 00:14:46,134 His name is Nick. 347 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,586 I didn't want to jinx it by telling everyone, 348 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,438 so I just told Marshall and Lily. 349 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,939 You can tell 'em, guys. 350 00:14:54,359 --> 00:14:56,644 We were just talking about this earlier today. 351 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,147 Okay, well, what I was saying is... 352 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,653 I have no desire to get Barney back because I'm with Nick now 353 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,439 and, well, I don't want to be crude, 354 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:12,443 but I want to spend all day licking his abs. 355 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:13,444 Do you understand? 356 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,630 Yes! God, yes! 357 00:15:15,632 --> 00:15:18,666 You are preaching to the choir, sister. 358 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,618 I stand by it. 359 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:23,087 Guys, it's okay. 360 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:23,971 You're new parents. 361 00:15:23,973 --> 00:15:25,289 You just need to get some sleep. 362 00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,058 We're fine! 363 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,512 This is hard, guys. 364 00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:33,481 Really hard. 365 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:38,803 Oh, God! Stay with me. 366 00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:39,987 Stay with me. 367 00:15:41,824 --> 00:15:43,691 Go get your baby. Yeah. 368 00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:48,362 Look, it doesn't matter that you have a boyfriend. 369 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,698 I'm always gonna be wondering if you secretly 370 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,366 still have feelings for Barney. 371 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,368 I don't care who this guy is. 372 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,673 Okay, we're good. 373 00:15:59,842 --> 00:16:01,092 Okay, well, 374 00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:04,428 I'm glad I left work early for this. 375 00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:05,963 Robin, maybe later we can discuss the meaning 376 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,216 of the word "emergency" and the phrase 377 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,550 "Trapped under a car." 378 00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,168 Okay. Okay. 379 00:16:16,007 --> 00:16:18,860 You know he has chicken legs. 380 00:16:18,862 --> 00:16:21,679 Little tiny chicken legs. 381 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,013 You guys saw those, right? 382 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:25,283 Honey, it's not cheating if I lie down on the bar 383 00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:26,450 and let Nick do a shot from my belly button, right? 384 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:27,485 Say what now? 385 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,519 Barney's on board! 386 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,655 Nick, hold on! 387 00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:35,860 Thanks for your help today. 388 00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,695 Yeah, sure. 389 00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:42,366 Although, it, uh, kind of sucked seeing how easy it was 390 00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:45,503 for you to throw away everything from our relationship. 391 00:16:46,556 --> 00:16:49,891 I... I could never do that. 392 00:16:55,898 --> 00:16:58,232 622 West 14th Street. 393 00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:06,390 And so, Victoria and I were back where we started. 394 00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:10,361 But there was something I couldn't get off my mind... 395 00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:14,916 I'll be right back. 396 00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:21,455 Uh, excuse me. 397 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,257 Oh, hey, it's you. 398 00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:26,076 Ja, okay, I'm not sure what kind of vibe 399 00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,762 I was giving off before, but I am not interested 400 00:17:27,764 --> 00:17:28,763 in your schnitzel, okay? 401 00:17:28,765 --> 00:17:30,915 No, no, no, no, no-- God, no. 402 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:33,384 I-I just have one quick question: 403 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,386 Victoria seems like a great girl. 404 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,356 Why wouldn't you want to marry her? 405 00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,758 Ach, okay, Victoria is wunderbar. 406 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,760 I'm sorry, wunderbar is the German word for wonderful. 407 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:43,928 Yeah, no, I know. 408 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:44,979 Oh, you speak German? 409 00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:48,282 No... 410 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,901 No, no, no... 411 00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:52,320 No, just-just-just the one word. 412 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,437 Oh. Oh. 413 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:56,941 Ah... Okay, Victoria. 414 00:17:56,943 --> 00:18:00,544 There is a word in German: Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz. 415 00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:02,079 And the closest translation would be... 416 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,549 "Lifelong Treasure of Destiny." 417 00:18:06,284 --> 00:18:08,285 And Victoria is wunderbar, 418 00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:11,172 but she is not my Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz. 419 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,507 She is my Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand, 420 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,892 you know? 421 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,961 You know wunderbar 422 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,596 but you don't know Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand? 423 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,765 That is something we learn in kindergarten. 424 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,733 I'm sorry, "kindergarten" is the German word for-- 425 00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:24,235 No, no, I know that one. 426 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,653 Oh, okay. 427 00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:26,771 But you don't know Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand? 428 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,489 You are maddeningly inconsistent. 429 00:18:28,491 --> 00:18:30,741 It means... 430 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:34,912 "the thing that is almost the thing that you want... 431 00:18:36,164 --> 00:18:37,915 ...but it's not quite." 432 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:41,035 Das ist Victoria to me. 433 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:44,205 How do you know she's not Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz? 434 00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:46,624 I mean, maybe as the years go by, she'll get 435 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:49,660 Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz -ier. 436 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,178 Oh, nein, nein, nein. 437 00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:53,497 Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz is not something 438 00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:54,715 that develops over time. 439 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:58,886 It is something that happens instantaneously. 440 00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:01,605 It courses through you 441 00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:04,508 like the water of a river after a storm... 442 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:08,696 ...filling you and emptying you all at once. 443 00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,791 You feel it throughout your body... 444 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:25,746 ♪ Coming up only ♪ In your hands... 445 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:28,699 ♪ To show you wrong ♪ in your heart... 446 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:32,369 in your stomach... 447 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,391 ♪ And to know you is hard ♪ ...in your skin... 448 00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,143 ♪ We wonder ♪ 449 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,228 Of course you feel it in your Schlauchmachendejungen. 450 00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:42,880 Pardon my French. 451 00:19:44,066 --> 00:19:45,766 Have you ever felt this way about someone? 452 00:19:47,652 --> 00:19:49,236 Yeah, I think so. 453 00:19:49,238 --> 00:19:51,822 If you have to think about it, you have not felt it. 454 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:55,326 And you're absolutely sure you'll find that someday? 455 00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,777 Of course. 456 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,412 Everyone does eventually. 457 00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:02,450 You just never know when or where. 458 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,101 And he was right. 459 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:07,237 Unfortunately, the "when" of it was still 460 00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:09,507 a little ways down the road. 461 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,910 But the "where" of it? 462 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,597 ♪ Really too late to call ♪ 463 00:20:16,599 --> 00:20:21,352 ♪ So we wait for ♪ 464 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:26,774 ♪ Morning to wake you is all we got ♪ 465 00:20:26,776 --> 00:20:28,893 Yeah, there's your change. 466 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,694 Oh, and don't forget your guitar. 467 00:20:32,781 --> 00:20:40,704 ♪ To know me as hardly golden ♪ 468 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:48,379 ♪ Is to know me all wrong, they warn ♪ 469 00:20:51,466 --> 00:20:54,919 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 470 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,922 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪ 471 00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:01,924 == sync, corrected by elderman ==