1 00:00:02,529 --> 00:00:04,686 Kids, in April of 2013, 2 00:00:04,786 --> 00:00:06,536 your mother and I were very close 3 00:00:06,538 --> 00:00:08,154 and yet very far apart. 4 00:00:08,156 --> 00:00:10,757 I was living on West 82nd Street. 5 00:00:10,759 --> 00:00:12,926 She was up on West 115th. 6 00:00:12,928 --> 00:00:15,494 She was getting a degree in economics. 7 00:00:15,496 --> 00:00:17,514 I was teaching architecture. 8 00:00:17,516 --> 00:00:18,715 I was always at MacLaren's. 9 00:00:18,717 --> 00:00:20,133 She was always... 10 00:00:20,135 --> 00:00:22,218 not spending all her time in a bar. 11 00:00:22,220 --> 00:00:25,421 She was dating some finance guy named Louis. 12 00:00:25,423 --> 00:00:27,440 And I... 13 00:00:27,442 --> 00:00:29,893 I was alone. 14 00:00:31,896 --> 00:00:33,313 Ted, get ready to be surrounded by 15 00:00:33,315 --> 00:00:35,198 half-naked, grease-covered bodies. 16 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,734 And by grease, I mean motor grease. 17 00:00:37,736 --> 00:00:41,154 We're going to Robots vs. Wrestlers! 18 00:00:41,156 --> 00:00:44,324 Kids, you remember Robots vs. Wrestlers. 19 00:00:44,326 --> 00:00:45,241 Forget everything you remember 20 00:00:45,243 --> 00:00:46,492 about Robots vs. Wrestlers. 21 00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:50,046 This is Robots vs. Wrestlers: "Legends." 22 00:00:50,048 --> 00:00:53,299 Elderly wrestlers fighting old-timey robots 23 00:00:53,301 --> 00:00:55,368 in a wheelchair-accessible wrestling ring. 24 00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:57,870 Why are we still sitting here? 25 00:00:57,872 --> 00:00:59,088 I got a big lecture tomorrow. 26 00:00:59,090 --> 00:01:00,539 Think I'm gonna take it easy tonight. 27 00:01:00,541 --> 00:01:02,759 Ted, trust me, 20 years from now, 28 00:01:02,761 --> 00:01:06,446 you'll be glad you saw Robots vs. Wrestlers: Legends. 29 00:01:06,448 --> 00:01:08,982 I can't imagine a world where that's possible. 30 00:01:08,984 --> 00:01:09,983 I'm serious. 31 00:01:09,985 --> 00:01:11,234 20 years from now, 32 00:01:11,236 --> 00:01:13,603 when my 26-year-old third wife asks me about this... 33 00:01:13,605 --> 00:01:15,071 You make a lot of those jokes. 34 00:01:15,073 --> 00:01:16,306 I'm gonna say, 35 00:01:16,308 --> 00:01:18,424 "Yeah, it was awesome, but you know the funny thing? 36 00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:20,443 Ted almost didn't go." Hmm. 37 00:01:20,445 --> 00:01:22,895 "But thank God he did, because it was a great night." 38 00:01:22,897 --> 00:01:24,063 And then she and I will 39 00:01:24,065 --> 00:01:25,398 adjourn to the Jacuzzi, 40 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,400 where my fourth wife will be waiting for us, 41 00:01:27,402 --> 00:01:28,901 already warming herself up on the jets. 42 00:01:28,903 --> 00:01:30,620 Oh, Robin's here-- I'll tell you the rest later. 43 00:01:30,622 --> 00:01:32,571 Please do, that story could go anywhere. 44 00:01:32,573 --> 00:01:33,539 Mwah. 45 00:01:33,541 --> 00:01:34,924 Hey, hello. Hey. 46 00:01:34,926 --> 00:01:36,042 Here we are at the bar 47 00:01:36,044 --> 00:01:37,243 once more. 48 00:01:38,095 --> 00:01:39,429 "What will I have to drink?" you ask. 49 00:01:39,431 --> 00:01:40,463 Hmm. 50 00:01:40,465 --> 00:01:41,580 Minnesota Tidal Wave. 51 00:01:41,582 --> 00:01:43,099 "What's that?" you ask. 52 00:01:43,101 --> 00:01:44,217 Only the best cocktail ever. 53 00:01:44,219 --> 00:01:45,885 "Who invented it?" you ask. 54 00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:47,604 Me. 55 00:01:47,606 --> 00:01:49,272 And it's not a girly drink. 56 00:01:49,274 --> 00:01:50,690 Lily, why would you even say that? 57 00:01:50,692 --> 00:01:52,425 Girly drink. 58 00:01:52,427 --> 00:01:54,611 Hey, I am the least girly girl on Earth, 59 00:01:54,613 --> 00:01:56,396 and I love the Minnesota Tidal Wave. 60 00:01:56,398 --> 00:01:57,814 Thank you, Robin. 61 00:01:57,816 --> 00:01:59,732 Matter of fact, I'm going to go order one 62 00:01:59,734 --> 00:02:01,600 right now with my head held high. 63 00:02:01,602 --> 00:02:02,601 Lily. 64 00:02:02,603 --> 00:02:04,070 You want me to order it for you? 65 00:02:04,072 --> 00:02:05,271 Yes, please, thank you, baby. 66 00:02:08,859 --> 00:02:10,994 Ted, let me tell you the secret to life. 67 00:02:10,996 --> 00:02:12,111 Hmm. 68 00:02:12,113 --> 00:02:13,913 Every time I make a decision about what to do 69 00:02:13,915 --> 00:02:16,082 on a given night, I ask myself, 70 00:02:16,084 --> 00:02:19,752 "What would make the best memory 20 years from now?" 71 00:02:19,754 --> 00:02:22,956 So I let 20-Years-From-Now- Barney call the shots. 72 00:02:22,958 --> 00:02:24,290 And it always works out. 73 00:02:24,292 --> 00:02:26,426 And 20-Years-From-Now-Barney 74 00:02:26,428 --> 00:02:28,811 thinks we should go to Robots vs. Wrestlers? 75 00:02:28,813 --> 00:02:29,829 I don't know. 76 00:02:29,831 --> 00:02:30,797 Let's ask him. 77 00:02:30,799 --> 00:02:31,981 Close your eyes, Ted. 78 00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:35,551 Okay, now open them. 79 00:02:35,553 --> 00:02:36,519 Barney, I swear to God, 80 00:02:36,521 --> 00:02:37,970 if I open my eyes and your bare ass 81 00:02:37,972 --> 00:02:39,522 is an inch away from my face again... 82 00:02:39,524 --> 00:02:42,008 Just open your eyes. 83 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,897 Ted, I'd like you to meet 20-Years-From-Now-Barney. 84 00:02:47,899 --> 00:02:49,582 20-Years-From-Now-Barney, you remember Ted. 85 00:02:49,584 --> 00:02:51,701 'Sup? 86 00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:55,767 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x20 ♪ The Time Travelers Original Air Date on March 25, 2013 87 00:02:55,792 --> 00:03:00,792 == sync, corrected by elderman == 88 00:03:04,515 --> 00:03:05,848 Hey, Ted. 89 00:03:05,850 --> 00:03:07,066 What's this I hear-slash-remember 90 00:03:07,068 --> 00:03:10,236 about you not wanting to see Robots vs. Wrestlers? 91 00:03:10,238 --> 00:03:12,021 Yeah, it's just that I don't want to see it. 92 00:03:12,023 --> 00:03:14,023 You don't... I know. 93 00:03:14,025 --> 00:03:15,108 He doesn't... I know. 94 00:03:16,311 --> 00:03:20,196 Ted, trust us, it's gonna be legend-- 95 00:03:20,198 --> 00:03:22,398 wait 20 years for it... 96 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,349 ...dary! 97 00:03:23,351 --> 00:03:25,785 Legendary! Legendary! 98 00:03:25,787 --> 00:03:26,903 Okay, uh, I'm gonna go home. 99 00:03:26,905 --> 00:03:28,037 No, Ted, look. Come on! 100 00:03:28,039 --> 00:03:29,205 If you don't believe that 101 00:03:29,207 --> 00:03:30,356 Robots vs. Wrestlers 102 00:03:30,358 --> 00:03:31,908 is gonna be a life-changing event, 103 00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:35,712 maybe you'll believe 20-Years-From-Now-Ted. 104 00:03:36,831 --> 00:03:37,847 Whoa. 105 00:03:37,849 --> 00:03:39,215 'Sup? 106 00:03:39,217 --> 00:03:40,199 Wow. 107 00:03:40,201 --> 00:03:42,368 Wow, so many things all at once. 108 00:03:42,370 --> 00:03:43,869 But most importantly... 109 00:03:43,871 --> 00:03:45,421 I don't go bald? 110 00:03:45,423 --> 00:03:47,040 Nope. 111 00:03:47,042 --> 00:03:48,224 And neither do I. 112 00:03:48,226 --> 00:03:49,375 Eeh... 113 00:03:49,377 --> 00:03:51,877 Ted, listen to me. 114 00:03:51,879 --> 00:03:54,430 You, listen to you. 115 00:03:54,432 --> 00:03:56,182 Me. 116 00:03:56,184 --> 00:03:58,351 You got to go to Robots vs. Wrestlers: Legends. 117 00:03:58,353 --> 00:04:00,603 Trust me, you will regret it if you don't. 118 00:04:00,605 --> 00:04:02,105 So, what, do I go bald or something? 119 00:04:02,107 --> 00:04:03,222 Is that a toupee? 120 00:04:03,224 --> 00:04:04,223 Ted, 121 00:04:04,225 --> 00:04:05,525 scalp check! Can't Robin do this? 122 00:04:05,527 --> 00:04:07,110 Come on, you've been doing it for years. 123 00:04:07,112 --> 00:04:08,444 You know the frame of reference. 124 00:04:08,446 --> 00:04:09,746 Scalp check! 125 00:04:11,331 --> 00:04:12,749 Hmm, that's odd. 126 00:04:12,751 --> 00:04:15,668 Little early in the week for scalp check. 127 00:04:15,670 --> 00:04:16,902 Five tablespoons of sugar, 128 00:04:16,904 --> 00:04:19,122 a whisper of vanilla vodka 129 00:04:19,124 --> 00:04:20,173 and you're done. 130 00:04:20,175 --> 00:04:21,874 Maraschino cherries. 131 00:04:21,876 --> 00:04:24,544 Oh, and a handful of maraschino cherries on top. 132 00:04:24,546 --> 00:04:26,345 Wait, you're ordering a Robin Scherbatsky. 133 00:04:26,347 --> 00:04:27,513 Why didn't you just say that? 134 00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:31,184 One second there, barkeep. 135 00:04:31,186 --> 00:04:32,084 Unless I'm mistaken, 136 00:04:32,086 --> 00:04:33,636 the drink this lady just ordered 137 00:04:33,638 --> 00:04:36,305 is called the Minnesota Tidal Wave. 138 00:04:36,307 --> 00:04:38,040 Origin unknown. 139 00:04:38,042 --> 00:04:40,393 Oh, well, you know, Robin's been ordering them so much lately 140 00:04:40,395 --> 00:04:41,611 that we named it after her. 141 00:04:41,613 --> 00:04:43,679 You named a drink after me? 142 00:04:43,681 --> 00:04:45,114 Right there in the menu. 143 00:04:45,116 --> 00:04:46,432 Congrats. 144 00:04:53,707 --> 00:04:55,958 I can't drink this. 145 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,210 That's better. 146 00:04:57,212 --> 00:04:59,945 I'm still seething, but that's better. 147 00:05:01,132 --> 00:05:02,632 Okay, 20-Years-From-Now-Me, 148 00:05:02,634 --> 00:05:04,217 level with me. 149 00:05:04,219 --> 00:05:06,719 You. Us. 150 00:05:06,721 --> 00:05:08,504 Is Robots vs. Wrestlers worth it? 151 00:05:08,506 --> 00:05:11,057 It was the single greatest night of my life. 152 00:05:11,059 --> 00:05:12,725 Even greater than your wedding? 153 00:05:12,727 --> 00:05:14,861 Well, I mean, when I get married, 154 00:05:14,863 --> 00:05:16,512 that'll be the greatest night of my life. 155 00:05:16,514 --> 00:05:18,181 But who knows when that's going to happen? 156 00:05:18,183 --> 00:05:20,316 Oh, my God, you still haven't... 157 00:05:20,318 --> 00:05:21,801 Man, I hope I meet her soon. 158 00:05:21,803 --> 00:05:23,653 Oh, God, what is wrong with me?! 159 00:05:23,655 --> 00:05:25,021 I'm sorry! 160 00:05:25,023 --> 00:05:26,656 I'm just messing with you! 161 00:05:26,658 --> 00:05:28,858 Now, come on, are we going or what? 162 00:05:28,860 --> 00:05:30,576 Fine, let's go. 163 00:05:30,578 --> 00:05:31,777 Yeah! 164 00:05:32,613 --> 00:05:34,080 Not so fast. 165 00:05:34,082 --> 00:05:36,799 Barney, Ted, 20-Years-From-Now-Barney, 166 00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:38,100 20-Years-From-Now-Ted. 167 00:05:38,102 --> 00:05:38,935 Who are you? 168 00:05:38,937 --> 00:05:41,721 I'm 20-Hours-From-Now-Ted. 169 00:05:41,723 --> 00:05:44,323 And you bastards aren't going anywhere. 170 00:05:49,579 --> 00:05:51,777 So, you're the Ted from 20 hours from now? 171 00:05:51,877 --> 00:05:52,860 Shh. 172 00:05:52,862 --> 00:05:55,446 Just... shh. 173 00:05:55,448 --> 00:05:56,530 You okay? 174 00:05:56,532 --> 00:05:58,132 No, I'm not okay. 175 00:05:58,134 --> 00:06:00,751 This dummy's about to go to Robots vs. Wrestlers-- 176 00:06:00,753 --> 00:06:02,369 and yes, it'll be awesome... 177 00:06:02,371 --> 00:06:04,488 See? 178 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,572 ...at first. 179 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,207 But then you're gonna drink way too much, 180 00:06:07,209 --> 00:06:09,159 hence the headache. 181 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,461 Then you're gonna jump into the ring 182 00:06:10,463 --> 00:06:12,629 and sprain your wrist, hence the splint. 183 00:06:12,631 --> 00:06:13,680 And then afterwards, you're gonna smoke 184 00:06:13,682 --> 00:06:14,998 half a pack of cigarettes, hence the... 185 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:18,302 Well, that's the sound a good time. 186 00:06:18,304 --> 00:06:20,804 And 20 hours from now, when you're me, 187 00:06:20,806 --> 00:06:21,805 you're gonna want to come back here, 188 00:06:21,807 --> 00:06:24,391 right to this very spot, right now, 189 00:06:24,393 --> 00:06:26,009 and smack yourself upside the head. 190 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:27,478 Yeah, but obviously I wouldn't do that 191 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,645 'cause I'd only be smacking myself-- 192 00:06:28,647 --> 00:06:30,347 Ow! 193 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:33,600 Don't do this to me, Ted. Don't do this to us. 194 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,536 Don't listen to yourself, Present-Day-Ted. 195 00:06:35,538 --> 00:06:38,655 It's a day of pain for a lifetime of memories. 196 00:06:38,657 --> 00:06:40,290 20-Hours-From-Now-Me, 197 00:06:40,292 --> 00:06:43,410 just tell me one thing: do I hurl? 198 00:06:43,412 --> 00:06:45,579 Yeah, kid. 199 00:06:45,581 --> 00:06:47,214 You hurl. 200 00:06:47,216 --> 00:06:48,365 A lot? 201 00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,084 Remember when Mom 202 00:06:50,086 --> 00:06:52,419 bought the beef from the Price Club? 203 00:06:52,421 --> 00:06:54,505 Okay, how about this: 204 00:06:54,507 --> 00:06:56,723 we go to Robots vs. Wrestlers, 205 00:06:56,725 --> 00:06:59,643 but I don't drink too much? 206 00:06:59,645 --> 00:07:00,961 Interesting. 207 00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:01,979 I'm good with that. 208 00:07:01,981 --> 00:07:03,213 No, forget it. 209 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:04,648 If Ted doesn't get wasted, 210 00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:06,183 there's no way he'll end up making out 211 00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:08,652 with that surprisingly realistic-looking female robot. 212 00:07:08,654 --> 00:07:10,554 Wait, I kiss a female robot? 213 00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,022 Oh, you do a lot more than that. 214 00:07:12,024 --> 00:07:15,192 Now, look, nobody is saying you need alcohol 215 00:07:15,194 --> 00:07:17,161 to have an exciting and memorable night. 216 00:07:17,163 --> 00:07:19,246 Absolutely not. Absolutely not. 217 00:07:19,248 --> 00:07:21,999 But in this case, yeah, you kind of have to be wasted. 218 00:07:24,286 --> 00:07:26,003 You drink beers in cans still. 219 00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:27,621 It makes the robot scarier. 220 00:07:28,506 --> 00:07:30,257 They named my drink after her. 221 00:07:30,259 --> 00:07:31,625 The Minnesota Tidal Wave. 222 00:07:31,627 --> 00:07:32,876 It's my usual. 223 00:07:32,878 --> 00:07:34,094 Immaterial! 224 00:07:34,096 --> 00:07:35,712 If it's gonna be named after anybody, 225 00:07:35,714 --> 00:07:37,514 it should be called The Marshall Eriksen. 226 00:07:37,516 --> 00:07:39,600 Sorry, it's The Robin Scherbatsky. 227 00:07:39,602 --> 00:07:40,750 Read it and weep. 228 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,419 Oh, so you're gonna Zuckerberg me? 229 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:43,353 That it? 230 00:07:43,355 --> 00:07:44,754 You're Zuckerberging me? 231 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:45,455 That's fine. 232 00:07:45,457 --> 00:07:47,107 I'll see you in court. 233 00:07:47,109 --> 00:07:49,159 Little court known as the dance floor. 234 00:07:49,161 --> 00:07:50,694 Dance-off. Now. 235 00:07:50,696 --> 00:07:51,761 No, no dancing. 236 00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,597 Marshall, we've been through this. 237 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,599 The doctor said your dancer's hip is worse than ever. 238 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,618 You have to lay off dancing for a while. 239 00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,453 You're killing me, Lily! 240 00:07:59,455 --> 00:08:01,488 You're killing me! 241 00:08:01,490 --> 00:08:02,606 I'm an adult. 242 00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:04,124 You have to let me dance my own battles. 243 00:08:04,126 --> 00:08:05,876 Marshall, there's not gonna be a dance-off 244 00:08:05,878 --> 00:08:07,110 because the name is staying. 245 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,446 Period, end of story. 246 00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:12,633 I just like having my name on something. 247 00:08:12,635 --> 00:08:14,051 Oh, you do? 248 00:08:14,053 --> 00:08:16,086 Oh, that's great, Robin. 249 00:08:16,088 --> 00:08:18,088 Then that's what you will get. 250 00:08:18,090 --> 00:08:20,174 That's... 251 00:08:20,176 --> 00:08:22,176 what you... 252 00:08:22,178 --> 00:08:24,561 will get. 253 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:28,599 Mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm. 254 00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:30,317 Oh, hey, Robin. 255 00:08:30,319 --> 00:08:32,302 You here "for a good time"? 256 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:34,238 Classic. 257 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,805 Did you write my number in the men's room? 258 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,108 It... Well, I don't know. 259 00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:39,643 I guess you'll never know unless you go in there, 260 00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:40,777 which I highly doubt that... 261 00:08:40,779 --> 00:08:42,112 There she goes. 262 00:08:42,114 --> 00:08:43,647 Okay, boys. 263 00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:46,483 Close your eyes and zip your flies. 264 00:08:52,373 --> 00:08:54,658 Hi. Don't mind me. 265 00:08:57,378 --> 00:08:59,012 I don't think you should have done that. 266 00:08:59,014 --> 00:09:01,298 Lily, I know what I'm doing, all right? 267 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:02,432 I'm a lawyer. 268 00:09:02,434 --> 00:09:04,051 I've thought about every possible scenario. 269 00:09:04,053 --> 00:09:05,552 I'm ten steps ahead of... 270 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,640 Where's she going? 271 00:09:09,642 --> 00:09:11,058 Probably into the ladies' room 272 00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:12,676 to write something on the wall about you. 273 00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,061 Nobody writes things 274 00:09:14,063 --> 00:09:15,362 on the walls of the ladies' room. 275 00:09:15,364 --> 00:09:17,030 Have you been in the ladies' room? 276 00:09:17,032 --> 00:09:18,448 Of course not. 277 00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:21,351 Lily, I know that I have the sexual charisma of a bad boy, 278 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:24,738 but I certainly don't have the manners of one. 279 00:09:26,074 --> 00:09:27,023 What'd you write in there? 280 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,159 Why don't you go in and look? 281 00:09:29,161 --> 00:09:31,361 You know I can't do that, Robin. 282 00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:32,546 Lily, can you go look? 283 00:09:32,548 --> 00:09:35,916 Oh, I thought you wanted to dance your own battles. 284 00:09:37,051 --> 00:09:39,586 Ladies, put your blouses back on! 285 00:09:39,588 --> 00:09:42,673 I'm coming in! 286 00:09:47,262 --> 00:09:48,645 Dear Marshall, 287 00:09:48,647 --> 00:09:50,747 I know this is a strange way to apologize, 288 00:09:50,749 --> 00:09:54,151 but I'm sorry I let Carl name your drink after me. 289 00:09:54,153 --> 00:09:55,819 Why didn't I say something? 290 00:09:55,821 --> 00:09:58,388 Gosh, I guess that goes back to my childhood. 291 00:09:59,741 --> 00:10:01,058 Okay, guys. 292 00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:04,077 Let's go to Robots vs. Wrestlers. 293 00:10:04,079 --> 00:10:04,945 Huzzah! Now you're talking! 294 00:10:04,947 --> 00:10:05,895 Here we go. 295 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,164 Nope, sit down. 296 00:10:07,166 --> 00:10:08,665 Everybody sit down. 297 00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:09,750 Okay, who are you? 298 00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:12,703 Hello, Ted, Barney, 20-Hours-From-Now-Ted, 299 00:10:12,705 --> 00:10:14,921 20-Years-From-Now-Ted, 20-Years-From-Now-Barney. 300 00:10:14,923 --> 00:10:16,423 Hey, how's it going? 301 00:10:16,425 --> 00:10:18,375 Allow me to introduce myself. 302 00:10:18,377 --> 00:10:20,544 I'm 20-Minutes-From-Now-Barney, 303 00:10:20,546 --> 00:10:22,379 and I have got something very important to... 304 00:10:23,465 --> 00:10:25,549 What's the stain on your shirt, bro? 305 00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:27,768 Please, please, I really do have something very important to... 306 00:10:28,937 --> 00:10:30,920 You look stupid. 307 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,255 Here's your spaghetti. 308 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,057 And be careful... 309 00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:37,311 ...with the meatball. 310 00:10:39,447 --> 00:10:41,865 And that's the only time my father 311 00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:43,600 ever said he was proud of me. 312 00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:46,536 Maybe that's why I stole credit for your drink. 313 00:10:46,538 --> 00:10:47,621 Maybe that's why 314 00:10:47,623 --> 00:10:50,290 I needed to pour my heart out like this. 315 00:10:50,292 --> 00:10:52,926 Or, maybe I wrote this so you'd be in here long enough 316 00:10:52,928 --> 00:10:55,295 for a lady to walk in, causing you to freak out 317 00:10:55,297 --> 00:10:56,480 and hide in the stall. 318 00:10:57,666 --> 00:10:59,416 So, you got a text message? Yeah. 319 00:11:02,887 --> 00:11:03,953 Whoa. 320 00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:07,024 Try to get some in your mouth next time. 321 00:11:07,026 --> 00:11:09,092 Okay, everybody, listen up. 322 00:11:09,094 --> 00:11:10,160 When I walked in here, 323 00:11:10,162 --> 00:11:11,695 I was 20-Minutes- From-Now-Barney. 324 00:11:11,697 --> 00:11:13,163 But that was 19 minutes 325 00:11:13,165 --> 00:11:14,698 and some serious acid reflux-- 326 00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:17,501 who orders spaghetti at an Irish bar?-- ago. 327 00:11:17,503 --> 00:11:18,635 Now, 328 00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:20,320 I'm 20-Seconds- From-Now-Barney, 329 00:11:20,322 --> 00:11:22,322 and I'm telling you, watch that door. 330 00:11:22,324 --> 00:11:23,156 Why? 331 00:11:23,158 --> 00:11:26,259 That's why. 332 00:11:27,628 --> 00:11:29,396 Um, oh. 333 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:32,315 In-in, like, 12 seconds. 334 00:11:34,335 --> 00:11:36,253 Your skin looks great. 335 00:11:36,255 --> 00:11:37,704 Thanks. 336 00:11:37,706 --> 00:11:40,006 And thank you for taking such good care of it. 337 00:11:40,008 --> 00:11:41,157 Shh. 338 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,959 That's why. 339 00:11:53,410 --> 00:11:54,410 Who is that? 340 00:11:54,412 --> 00:11:55,678 She's the coat check girl 341 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,980 from that dance club we went to seven years ago. 342 00:11:57,982 --> 00:11:59,315 You remember that night. 343 00:11:59,317 --> 00:12:00,766 When Barney grinded with his cousin. 344 00:12:00,768 --> 00:12:03,686 Oh, man, you remember that 20 years from now? 345 00:12:03,688 --> 00:12:05,654 He won't let anyone forget. 346 00:12:05,656 --> 00:12:06,789 Coat check girl. 347 00:12:06,791 --> 00:12:09,141 I always meant to go back to that club 348 00:12:09,143 --> 00:12:11,310 and get her number, but I didn't. 349 00:12:11,312 --> 00:12:13,429 And now she's here? 350 00:12:13,431 --> 00:12:16,732 She's in this bar seven years later? 351 00:12:16,734 --> 00:12:18,617 I-I can't believe this. 352 00:12:18,619 --> 00:12:20,870 So, wait, do you guys think I should go talk to her? 353 00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,538 Are you kidding me? Yes, go... 354 00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:23,605 How many different ways... Idiot. 355 00:12:23,607 --> 00:12:26,659 Hello? 356 00:12:26,661 --> 00:12:29,712 Is anybody out there? 357 00:12:32,132 --> 00:12:34,917 Sounds like the coast is clear. 358 00:12:38,672 --> 00:12:40,622 No, no, wait! 359 00:12:40,624 --> 00:12:41,623 Please, it's not my fault! 360 00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:42,842 I was tricked! 361 00:12:42,844 --> 00:12:44,176 Not cool, Marshall. 362 00:12:44,178 --> 00:12:45,644 This is a nice bar. 363 00:12:45,646 --> 00:12:47,847 Girls come here, they just want to relax with their friends, 364 00:12:47,849 --> 00:12:50,149 maybe have a few Robin Scherbatskys, 365 00:12:50,151 --> 00:12:51,633 and not have to worry out some guy 366 00:12:51,635 --> 00:12:54,687 pulling a Marshall Eriksen in the bathroom. 367 00:12:54,689 --> 00:12:57,656 No, no, no, I know. I just... 368 00:12:57,658 --> 00:13:01,477 Wait a minute, did you just use my name 369 00:13:01,479 --> 00:13:03,662 as shorthand for a guy being creepy? 370 00:13:03,664 --> 00:13:04,747 Yep. 371 00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:06,148 Well, you know what, Carl? 372 00:13:06,150 --> 00:13:07,867 I think that you are making 373 00:13:07,869 --> 00:13:09,702 a broad and prejudicial assumption. 374 00:13:09,704 --> 00:13:12,088 So next time I meet a guy who just goes around 375 00:13:12,090 --> 00:13:13,655 rushing to judgment, I'm gonna say, 376 00:13:13,657 --> 00:13:16,876 "Hey, that guy's being a real Carl..." 377 00:13:18,828 --> 00:13:21,347 You don't know my last name. 378 00:13:21,349 --> 00:13:23,349 You've been drinking here for years, 379 00:13:23,351 --> 00:13:24,633 and you don't know my last name. 380 00:13:24,635 --> 00:13:27,937 I will name every drink in this bar after you 381 00:13:27,939 --> 00:13:30,106 if you can tell me my last name. 382 00:13:30,108 --> 00:13:31,190 Well, that just seems confusing. 383 00:13:31,192 --> 00:13:33,142 How will you know what people are ordering? 384 00:13:34,144 --> 00:13:35,478 What's my last name, Marshall? 385 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,613 It's Carl... 386 00:13:43,036 --> 00:13:44,537 ...'s Junior. 387 00:13:45,572 --> 00:13:47,456 Okay, wish me luck, everyone. 388 00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,691 Break a leg... 389 00:13:57,968 --> 00:14:00,219 What the hell? 390 00:14:01,704 --> 00:14:03,222 Do not talk to her. 391 00:14:03,224 --> 00:14:04,557 What-what... Who are you? 392 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:07,209 We are 20-Months-From-Now- Coat-Check-Girl. 393 00:14:07,211 --> 00:14:08,427 But there's two of you. 394 00:14:08,429 --> 00:14:10,729 Right, because if you go over there and you talk to her, 395 00:14:10,731 --> 00:14:12,765 20 months from now, it's gonna end in one of two ways. 396 00:14:12,767 --> 00:14:14,600 Either you are gonna get sick of me. 397 00:14:14,602 --> 00:14:16,018 I made you muffins 398 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:18,554 because of your nickname: Muffin. 399 00:14:18,556 --> 00:14:20,189 Or... 400 00:14:20,191 --> 00:14:22,575 I am gonna get sick of you and your stupid habits. 401 00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:24,660 Stop DVR-ing the news. You're never gonna catch up. 402 00:14:24,662 --> 00:14:25,694 Oh, stop it, 403 00:14:25,696 --> 00:14:27,096 you're scaring him off. 404 00:14:27,098 --> 00:14:28,914 By the way, I'm pregnant. 405 00:14:28,916 --> 00:14:30,115 No, she's not. 406 00:14:30,117 --> 00:14:31,200 Okay, no, I'm not, 407 00:14:31,202 --> 00:14:33,118 but that made you happy for a second, right? 408 00:14:33,903 --> 00:14:35,387 Please shut up. Okay, wait, 409 00:14:35,389 --> 00:14:38,207 so you're saying it's doomed completely? 410 00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:41,093 One of us is just guaranteed to get sick of the other 411 00:14:41,095 --> 00:14:42,678 and call it quits? 412 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,580 You've been dating for a long time, Ted. 413 00:14:44,582 --> 00:14:47,233 Has it ever gone any other way? 414 00:15:09,207 --> 00:15:10,289 Look at this one. 415 00:15:10,291 --> 00:15:11,440 Thank you so much. 416 00:15:11,442 --> 00:15:12,658 Hey. 417 00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:14,143 Hey, you look kind of down. 418 00:15:14,145 --> 00:15:17,663 Have a Robin Scherbatsky, on me. 419 00:15:17,665 --> 00:15:20,449 None of this would have happened if Lily had let me dance. 420 00:15:22,136 --> 00:15:24,753 Baby, wait. 421 00:15:24,755 --> 00:15:26,088 God, you're still clinging to that? 422 00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:27,556 Marshall, it doesn't matter, 423 00:15:27,558 --> 00:15:29,842 'cause you'd lose anyway, and you know why? 424 00:15:29,844 --> 00:15:31,760 'Cause I'm Sparkles, bitch. 425 00:15:31,762 --> 00:15:33,929 Oh, and you think you can step to me? 426 00:15:33,931 --> 00:15:35,898 You think you can step up to the streets? 427 00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:37,182 To me? 428 00:15:37,184 --> 00:15:40,603 You think you can step up over me to the streets? 429 00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:42,488 I guess we'll never know because you are not allowed... 430 00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:43,472 Wait, wait. 431 00:15:44,808 --> 00:15:47,443 That's my jam. 432 00:15:47,445 --> 00:15:49,361 Who's playing my jam? 433 00:15:49,363 --> 00:15:51,196 ♪ Like you carry dairy there ♪ Carry dairy there ♪ 434 00:15:51,198 --> 00:15:53,315 ♪ Heinie heinie heinie ho ♪ Heinie heinie heinie ho ♪ 435 00:15:53,317 --> 00:15:55,584 ♪ Work your derriere ♪ Work your derriere ♪ 436 00:15:55,586 --> 00:15:56,985 Dance-off. 437 00:15:56,987 --> 00:15:58,537 You're on. 438 00:15:59,639 --> 00:16:00,789 ♪ Work that booty 439 00:16:00,791 --> 00:16:02,007 ♪ Work that booty, work that booty ♪ 440 00:16:02,009 --> 00:16:03,175 ♪ Work that booty 441 00:16:03,177 --> 00:16:05,177 ♪ You got that pretty brown round ♪ 442 00:16:05,179 --> 00:16:07,429 ♪ Want both hands all on them chocolate mounds ♪ 443 00:16:07,431 --> 00:16:09,098 ♪ Give you my Almond Joy... 444 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:10,549 Oh. 445 00:16:10,551 --> 00:16:12,101 I think I'm gonna head home. 446 00:16:12,103 --> 00:16:13,385 I understand. 447 00:16:13,387 --> 00:16:15,104 What, you're not gonna try and stop me? 448 00:16:15,106 --> 00:16:17,273 And how would I try and stop you? 449 00:16:17,275 --> 00:16:20,609 I don't know, by telling me life is short, 450 00:16:20,611 --> 00:16:22,611 and if you ever come across a beautiful, 451 00:16:22,613 --> 00:16:24,196 exciting, crazy moment in it, 452 00:16:24,198 --> 00:16:26,282 you got to seize it while you can 453 00:16:26,284 --> 00:16:27,683 before that moment's gone? 454 00:16:27,685 --> 00:16:31,070 Ted, this moment already is gone. 455 00:16:32,122 --> 00:16:33,856 The whole Minnesota Tidal Wave thing 456 00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:35,240 happened five years ago. 457 00:16:35,242 --> 00:16:36,625 It's just a memory. 458 00:16:36,627 --> 00:16:37,793 And the rest of this 459 00:16:37,795 --> 00:16:39,411 never happened. 460 00:16:39,413 --> 00:16:41,964 Right now, Marshall and Lily are upstairs, 461 00:16:41,966 --> 00:16:43,882 trying to get Marvin to go back to sleep. 462 00:16:43,884 --> 00:16:46,001 Robin and I are trying to decide on a caterer. 463 00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,086 And you've been sitting here 464 00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:49,121 all night, staring at a single ticket 465 00:16:49,123 --> 00:16:50,806 to Robots vs. Wrestlers 466 00:16:50,808 --> 00:16:52,541 because the rest of us couldn't come out. 467 00:16:52,543 --> 00:16:55,444 Look around, Ted. 468 00:16:55,446 --> 00:16:57,579 You're all alone. 469 00:17:05,221 --> 00:17:07,189 Kids, it's been almost 20 years 470 00:17:07,191 --> 00:17:10,075 since that cold April night in 2013, 471 00:17:10,077 --> 00:17:11,893 and I can safely tell you, 472 00:17:11,895 --> 00:17:15,497 if I could go back in time and relive that night, 473 00:17:15,499 --> 00:17:19,702 there's no way in hell I'd go to Robots vs. Wrestlers. 474 00:17:22,238 --> 00:17:25,841 No, I'd go home. 475 00:17:25,843 --> 00:17:27,710 I'd go to my old apartment, 476 00:17:27,712 --> 00:17:30,429 see all my old furniture, my old stuff. 477 00:17:30,431 --> 00:17:32,548 I'd see my old drafting table, 478 00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:35,551 where I sketched out my first building. 479 00:17:35,553 --> 00:17:36,918 I'd sit on that old couch 480 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,605 and smell the Indian food cooking three stories below. 481 00:17:39,607 --> 00:17:42,924 I'd go to Lily and Marshall's place, 482 00:17:42,926 --> 00:17:45,811 be back in that old living room where so many things happened. 483 00:17:45,813 --> 00:17:47,262 I'd see the baby. 484 00:17:47,264 --> 00:17:49,198 I don't know if you can picture me holding 485 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,984 your six-foot-seven cousin Marvin over my head, 486 00:17:51,986 --> 00:17:54,153 but back then I could. 487 00:17:54,155 --> 00:17:56,288 I'd go have a drink with Barney and Robin, 488 00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:58,157 watch them fight about their caterer 489 00:17:58,159 --> 00:18:00,659 or whatever it was they were fighting about that night. 490 00:18:00,661 --> 00:18:03,945 But none of those things is the thing I'd do first. 491 00:18:03,947 --> 00:18:08,000 You know the thing I'd do first? 492 00:18:33,076 --> 00:18:35,077 Hi. 493 00:18:36,913 --> 00:18:40,148 I'm Ted Mosby. 494 00:18:40,150 --> 00:18:43,985 And exactly 45 days from now, 495 00:18:43,987 --> 00:18:46,672 you and I are gonna meet, 496 00:18:46,674 --> 00:18:49,091 and we're gonna fall in love, 497 00:18:49,093 --> 00:18:51,009 and we're gonna get married, 498 00:18:51,011 --> 00:18:54,513 and... we're gonna have two kids. 499 00:18:54,515 --> 00:18:58,600 And we're gonna love them and each other so much. 500 00:19:01,438 --> 00:19:04,139 All that is 45 days away. 501 00:19:07,393 --> 00:19:10,229 But I'm here now, 502 00:19:10,231 --> 00:19:13,315 I guess, because... 503 00:19:15,702 --> 00:19:19,321 I want those extra 45 days with you. 504 00:19:19,323 --> 00:19:22,791 I want each one of them. 505 00:19:22,793 --> 00:19:24,710 Look, and if I can't have them, 506 00:19:24,712 --> 00:19:27,212 I'll take the 45 seconds before your boyfriend shows up 507 00:19:27,214 --> 00:19:30,382 and punches me in the face, 508 00:19:30,384 --> 00:19:33,552 because... 509 00:19:33,554 --> 00:19:35,754 I love you. 510 00:19:35,756 --> 00:19:38,807 I'm always gonna love you, 511 00:19:38,809 --> 00:19:42,678 till the end of my days and beyond. 512 00:19:44,514 --> 00:19:46,431 You'll see. 513 00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:49,601 Can I help you? 514 00:19:49,603 --> 00:19:52,354 Oh, hey, it's, uh, Louis, right? 515 00:19:52,356 --> 00:19:53,372 It's okay. 516 00:19:53,374 --> 00:19:54,656 It's fine, um... 517 00:19:54,658 --> 00:19:56,191 I'm in love with your girlfriend, 518 00:19:56,193 --> 00:19:58,059 and, uh, we're gonna get married. 519 00:19:58,061 --> 00:20:00,112 What? Yeah. 520 00:20:25,172 --> 00:20:27,745 Okay, guys, I've been waiting 20 years for this. 521 00:20:27,845 --> 00:20:29,228 Just like we practiced. 522 00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:30,563 No mistakes, ready? 523 00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:33,315 One, two, a-one, two, three, four. 524 00:20:33,539 --> 00:20:37,517 ♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh 525 00:20:37,617 --> 00:20:39,183 ♪ For the longest 526 00:20:39,185 --> 00:20:41,402 ♪ For the longest time 527 00:20:41,404 --> 00:20:42,837 ♪ Whoa-oh-oh 528 00:20:42,839 --> 00:20:44,472 ♪ For the longest 529 00:20:44,474 --> 00:20:45,740 ♪ For the longest time 530 00:20:45,742 --> 00:20:50,645 ♪ If you said good-bye to me tonight ♪ 531 00:20:50,647 --> 00:20:51,796 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh 532 00:20:51,798 --> 00:20:53,431 ♪ There would still 533 00:20:53,433 --> 00:20:55,266 ♪ Be music left to write 534 00:20:55,268 --> 00:20:56,567 ♪ Doo-doo-doo 535 00:20:56,569 --> 00:21:02,651 ♪ What else could I do? I'm so inspired by you ♪ 536 00:21:02,751 --> 00:21:07,086 ♪ That hasn't happened for the longest time. ♪ 537 00:21:07,186 --> 00:21:12,186 == sync, corrected by elderman ==