1
00:00:00,502 --> 00:00:03,508
NARRATOR: In 1994, Robin's dad took her
to New York City
2
00:00:03,509 --> 00:00:04,859
for the first time...
3
00:00:04,861 --> 00:00:07,361
This is amazing!
Thank you, sir!
4
00:00:07,363 --> 00:00:09,947
Well, a little father-son
bonding trip never hurt anyone.
5
00:00:09,949 --> 00:00:12,783
I-I did almost die
from malnutrition
6
00:00:12,785 --> 00:00:14,518
on that wolf hunt last year...
7
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,520
I had to almost kill you
8
00:00:16,522 --> 00:00:17,738
for you to learn how to kill.
9
00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:20,691
(sighs happily)
New York City's the best, eh?
10
00:00:20,693 --> 00:00:22,043
I despise it.
It's like Edmonton,
11
00:00:22,045 --> 00:00:23,911
minus the arts and culture.
12
00:00:23,913 --> 00:00:25,162
Come on, we'll miss our flight.
13
00:00:25,164 --> 00:00:26,747
I'll catch up.
14
00:00:28,533 --> 00:00:31,201
One day, I'm gonna move here,
15
00:00:31,203 --> 00:00:34,422
marry a sophisticated
big-city man
16
00:00:34,424 --> 00:00:36,474
with a sick mullet--
17
00:00:36,476 --> 00:00:39,543
like all the way down to his
shoulder pads,
18
00:00:39,545 --> 00:00:40,561
and at night,
19
00:00:40,563 --> 00:00:43,047
he'll let me brush it...
20
00:00:43,049 --> 00:00:46,934
and I'll dig up this locket
21
00:00:46,936 --> 00:00:51,388
so it can be my "something old"
at our wedding.
22
00:00:52,190 --> 00:00:53,223
ROBIN SENIOR:
R.J.!
23
00:00:53,225 --> 00:00:54,658
Coming, sir!
24
00:00:56,394 --> 00:00:57,995
(whispering):
I'll be back for you.
25
00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:03,934
Back then, I was-I was too embarrassed
to tell you why I've done that,
26
00:01:03,936 --> 00:01:04,969
but we're closer now.
27
00:01:04,971 --> 00:01:06,220
(phone ringing)
28
00:01:06,222 --> 00:01:08,189
I feel like I don't have to hide
my feminine side anymore
29
00:01:08,191 --> 00:01:09,473
just because you've
always wanted a...
30
00:01:09,475 --> 00:01:11,475
Son!
It's Barney!
31
00:01:11,477 --> 00:01:13,060
Great!
32
00:01:13,062 --> 00:01:14,695
I'll be there in 15, B-dawg.
33
00:01:14,697 --> 00:01:16,097
Woof, woof!
34
00:01:17,315 --> 00:01:18,566
(laughs)
35
00:01:18,568 --> 00:01:20,017
That's our thing.
36
00:01:20,019 --> 00:01:21,702
Uh... be where in 15?
37
00:01:21,704 --> 00:01:22,787
Laser tag.
38
00:01:22,789 --> 00:01:24,572
Never been.
B-dawg's gonna teach me.
39
00:01:24,574 --> 00:01:28,125
Look, I-I think that it's great
that you and Barney are...
40
00:01:28,127 --> 00:01:28,959
B-dawg.
41
00:01:28,961 --> 00:01:31,662
...B-dawg are bonding,
42
00:01:31,664 --> 00:01:34,364
but, um... you agreed
to help me with this.
43
00:01:34,366 --> 00:01:35,800
Fine.
44
00:01:35,802 --> 00:01:37,718
Where did you bury this tampon?
45
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:38,719
It's a locket.
46
00:01:38,721 --> 00:01:39,737
I'm sorry, I get all these
47
00:01:39,739 --> 00:01:42,373
girlie things confused.
48
00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:44,425
Do you need my help or not?
49
00:01:45,811 --> 00:01:47,728
Nah, it's stupid.
50
00:01:47,730 --> 00:01:49,513
(laughs)
51
00:01:49,515 --> 00:01:51,882
NARRATOR: So while Robin searched
for her something old,
52
00:01:51,884 --> 00:01:54,268
Lily and Marshall packed
for their something new:
53
00:01:54,270 --> 00:01:56,504
Lily's year-long art consultant
gig in Italy.
54
00:01:56,506 --> 00:01:58,555
I still can't believe
55
00:01:58,557 --> 00:02:00,524
we have to say goodbye
to this place...
56
00:02:00,526 --> 00:02:02,443
Oh. I know, baby.
57
00:02:02,445 --> 00:02:04,912
But look at it as an excuse
to simplify our lives.
58
00:02:04,914 --> 00:02:06,580
You know, we can't bring
everything to Italy,
59
00:02:06,582 --> 00:02:08,082
so we gotta throw out
some junk.
60
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:10,668
For example, look...
61
00:02:10,670 --> 00:02:12,036
my old Sasquatch binders
62
00:02:12,038 --> 00:02:14,121
that "I could never throw away"
63
00:02:14,123 --> 00:02:15,923
because
"I was gonna be the guy
64
00:02:15,925 --> 00:02:17,675
who proved the existence
of Bigfoot..."
65
00:02:17,677 --> 00:02:18,909
These are obviously
coming to Italy.
66
00:02:18,911 --> 00:02:20,127
But these handbags?
67
00:02:20,129 --> 00:02:21,212
Gonzo.
68
00:02:21,214 --> 00:02:22,513
No way!
69
00:02:22,515 --> 00:02:25,582
These have sentimental
meaning to me.
70
00:02:25,584 --> 00:02:27,384
Didn't you shop-lift these
in your 20s?
71
00:02:27,386 --> 00:02:29,937
Yes, and I get very nostalgic
for that time.
72
00:02:29,939 --> 00:02:33,257
You get older, you have kids,
you stop stealing, it's sad.
73
00:02:33,259 --> 00:02:34,275
Lily...
74
00:02:34,277 --> 00:02:35,759
we just don't have
room for these.
75
00:02:35,761 --> 00:02:38,896
Oh, but you get to keep
your Bigfoot binders?
76
00:02:38,898 --> 00:02:42,432
Wait, why is this one
just December 1999?
77
00:02:42,434 --> 00:02:44,952
Oh. Y2K was coming.
78
00:02:44,954 --> 00:02:47,988
Lot of people took to the woods.
79
00:02:47,990 --> 00:02:49,740
Saw the truth.
80
00:02:49,742 --> 00:02:53,043
Okay, Marshall, we don't
have time to argue
81
00:02:53,045 --> 00:02:54,778
over what stays and what goes.
82
00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,881
Ooh, you know who
we gotta bring in?
83
00:02:56,883 --> 00:02:59,834
Okay, I agree he is
good at this stuff,
84
00:02:59,836 --> 00:03:01,836
but he just gets so cocky.
85
00:03:01,838 --> 00:03:03,120
No, he doesn't.
86
00:03:06,457 --> 00:03:08,943
So I heard you guys have
a bit of a...
87
00:03:08,945 --> 00:03:11,512
packing situation.
88
00:03:11,514 --> 00:03:13,797
I acknowledge now
this was a mistake.
89
00:03:13,799 --> 00:03:17,101
Look, I came here to chew
bubblegum and pack boxes.
90
00:03:17,103 --> 00:03:19,820
And I'm all out of bubble...
(gulps, chokes)
91
00:03:19,822 --> 00:03:21,972
(coughing):
Oh, my God.... Oh, my God.
92
00:03:21,974 --> 00:03:24,441
I swallowed it.
93
00:03:24,443 --> 00:03:25,976
Is that bad?
94
00:03:25,978 --> 00:03:27,495
Okay, thank you.
95
00:03:27,497 --> 00:03:29,246
Well, Dr. Goldsmith says
I should be fine.
96
00:03:29,248 --> 00:03:31,081
I just have to look for it
in my stool.
97
00:03:31,867 --> 00:03:34,451
So as I was saying...
98
00:03:34,453 --> 00:03:36,520
I heard you guys have
a bit of a...
99
00:03:36,522 --> 00:03:39,173
packing situation.
100
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:43,260
♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x23 ♪
Something Old
Original Air Date on May 6, 2013
101
00:03:43,285 --> 00:03:48,285
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
102
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,804
Now, as you know,
103
00:03:53,806 --> 00:03:57,041
I'm a bit of a legend
when it comes to packing.
104
00:03:57,043 --> 00:03:58,726
We know.
We know.
105
00:03:58,728 --> 00:04:00,444
Tales are still told
106
00:04:00,446 --> 00:04:03,030
of the time I traveled
all through Spain...
107
00:04:04,515 --> 00:04:06,734
...for two weeks...
108
00:04:07,852 --> 00:04:09,787
...with everything I needed
109
00:04:09,789 --> 00:04:13,624
efficiently packed into
a hands-free belt satchel.
110
00:04:13,626 --> 00:04:15,525
The locals called me...
111
00:04:22,133 --> 00:04:25,052
Yeah, it's not a "hands-free
belt satchel," Ted.
112
00:04:25,054 --> 00:04:26,053
It's a fanny pack.
113
00:04:26,055 --> 00:04:27,838
It's not a fanny pack.
114
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,925
In Spanish,
El Ganso con la Riñonera
115
00:04:30,927 --> 00:04:32,760
means "Fanny Pack Dork."
116
00:04:32,762 --> 00:04:33,928
No, it doesn't.
117
00:04:33,930 --> 00:04:36,380
It means "Packer of Great Skill
and Merit."
118
00:04:36,382 --> 00:04:37,598
NARRATOR:
I looked it up.
119
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,767
It means"Fanny Pack Dork."
120
00:04:39,769 --> 00:04:42,719
And as a Packer
of Great Skill and Merit,
121
00:04:42,721 --> 00:04:46,240
I will tell you how to pack
with Tetris-like precision.
122
00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:48,776
We get it, you pack
a lot in your fanny.
123
00:04:48,778 --> 00:04:50,444
Obvious yet delightful.
124
00:04:50,446 --> 00:04:51,495
TED:
Okay.
125
00:04:51,497 --> 00:04:52,980
I got a big interview at 3:00
126
00:04:52,982 --> 00:04:54,415
about possibly designing
another building.
127
00:04:54,417 --> 00:04:57,234
Until then,
if you abide by my rulings,
128
00:04:57,236 --> 00:04:59,403
I will tell you
what goes to Italy
129
00:04:59,405 --> 00:05:02,923
and what goes in...
The Triangle.
130
00:05:02,925 --> 00:05:05,676
NARRATOR: Kids, as you know,
"The Bermuda Triangle"
131
00:05:05,678 --> 00:05:07,411
was the name we gave
to the curb
132
00:05:07,413 --> 00:05:08,545
right outside our apartment,
133
00:05:08,547 --> 00:05:11,298
which possessed
the magical ability
134
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:13,601
to make any item disappear.
135
00:05:13,603 --> 00:05:14,802
Instantly.
136
00:05:14,804 --> 00:05:16,920
The biggest rule for
de-cluttering is,
137
00:05:16,922 --> 00:05:19,974
"Have you used it
in the last year?"
138
00:05:19,976 --> 00:05:22,643
If not... Triangle.
139
00:05:23,612 --> 00:05:26,397
Have you used this jump rope
in the last year?
140
00:05:26,399 --> 00:05:27,399
(scoffs) Are you kidding?
141
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,283
I hop threads
every morning, son!
142
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,485
Do three in a row
and you can keep it.
143
00:05:34,339 --> 00:05:35,406
Well-played, Mosby.
144
00:05:35,408 --> 00:05:37,791
Next!
145
00:05:39,327 --> 00:05:41,078
Have you used it
in the last year?
146
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,298
Gee, I can't remember.
147
00:05:47,585 --> 00:05:49,003
Are you trying to bribe me?
148
00:05:50,055 --> 00:05:51,505
I don't know what
you're talking about.
149
00:05:51,507 --> 00:05:52,606
(coughing):
Take it.
150
00:05:52,608 --> 00:05:53,691
Triangle!
151
00:05:53,693 --> 00:05:54,791
(whimpers)
152
00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:55,959
Next!
153
00:05:57,629 --> 00:05:59,313
(laughing)
154
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:02,149
Wow, you're a natural...
Dad.
155
00:06:02,984 --> 00:06:04,485
You know, I love Robin.
156
00:06:04,487 --> 00:06:06,170
And her sister's okay, I guess.
157
00:06:06,172 --> 00:06:09,657
But there's something nice
about finally having...
158
00:06:09,659 --> 00:06:10,858
a son.
159
00:06:10,860 --> 00:06:12,660
A s...
160
00:06:13,478 --> 00:06:15,312
(choked up):
I...
161
00:06:15,314 --> 00:06:16,514
Cristalli twins, nine o'clock!
162
00:06:17,832 --> 00:06:19,583
(Barney laughs evilly)
163
00:06:19,585 --> 00:06:21,651
Now make like your mommy's
ovum and split!
164
00:06:21,653 --> 00:06:22,653
(laughs)
165
00:06:22,655 --> 00:06:25,039
Solid biology joke, B-dawg.
166
00:06:25,041 --> 00:06:26,373
BOTH:
Woof, woof!
167
00:06:26,375 --> 00:06:27,458
(laughs)
168
00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:28,759
NARRATOR:
Now, I'll admit,
169
00:06:28,761 --> 00:06:29,793
to the untrained eye,
170
00:06:29,795 --> 00:06:31,178
a few of my packing rulings
171
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:32,262
may have seemed arbitrary.
172
00:06:32,264 --> 00:06:35,015
Let's Go Italy? Triangle.
173
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,000
Triangle...
174
00:06:37,002 --> 00:06:38,168
let's go Italy.
175
00:06:39,471 --> 00:06:42,639
A gorilla suit and a blonde wig.
176
00:06:42,641 --> 00:06:44,558
Have you used either of these
in the last year?
177
00:06:47,278 --> 00:06:48,896
(grunting)
178
00:06:48,898 --> 00:06:50,731
(silly high-pitched voice):
Please, Queen Kong...
179
00:06:50,733 --> 00:06:52,349
be gentle.
180
00:06:53,184 --> 00:06:54,568
(growling)
181
00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:55,953
Nope, haven't used those.
182
00:06:55,955 --> 00:06:57,435
I don't think those
even belong to us.
183
00:06:58,573 --> 00:07:00,407
Okay, here's an easy one.
184
00:07:00,409 --> 00:07:03,961
A leaky, ten-year-old
beanbag chair
185
00:07:03,963 --> 00:07:06,130
covered in beer, bong water
186
00:07:06,132 --> 00:07:09,583
and fossilized Cool Ranch
Dorito fingerprints.
187
00:07:09,585 --> 00:07:10,634
Italy.
188
00:07:10,636 --> 00:07:13,003
Vieni ancora per Fudge Grande?
189
00:07:13,005 --> 00:07:15,556
Guys, this chair
has been here forever.
190
00:07:15,558 --> 00:07:16,840
You gotta take it with you.
191
00:07:16,842 --> 00:07:18,425
Italy.
MARSHALL: Ted...
192
00:07:18,427 --> 00:07:20,710
Italy doesn't need something
that is wrinkled,
193
00:07:20,712 --> 00:07:22,229
red and leaky,
194
00:07:22,231 --> 00:07:24,598
and smells like booze
and narcotics.
195
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,401
They've already got former Prime
Minister Silvio Berlusconi.
196
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:28,685
(laughs)
197
00:07:28,687 --> 00:07:30,237
I don't know who that is.
198
00:07:30,239 --> 00:07:32,689
All rulings are final.
199
00:07:32,691 --> 00:07:35,993
Okay, why are things that
we like getting "Triangled"
200
00:07:35,995 --> 00:07:38,729
and crap you like sneaks through?
Like what?
201
00:07:38,731 --> 00:07:40,998
That old 50-pound
karaoke machine.
202
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,082
Come on!
203
00:07:42,084 --> 00:07:43,700
We sang in the New Year in '02
204
00:07:43,702 --> 00:07:44,868
on this thing, remember?
205
00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:46,787
We were Destiny's Child!
206
00:07:49,257 --> 00:07:50,507
And since I was Beyonce ,
207
00:07:50,509 --> 00:07:52,576
I'm pretty sure
I get final say here, so...
208
00:07:52,578 --> 00:07:54,711
Oh, we were not your
backup singers, bitch,
209
00:07:54,713 --> 00:07:55,879
we were a group.
210
00:07:55,881 --> 00:07:58,382
I'm sorry, are you guys
married to Jay-Z,
211
00:07:58,384 --> 00:08:00,467
or am I married to Jay-Z?
212
00:08:01,136 --> 00:08:02,386
Italy.
213
00:08:02,388 --> 00:08:03,771
(feedback squeals)
214
00:08:03,773 --> 00:08:04,721
(laser guns firing)
215
00:08:04,723 --> 00:08:06,723
(grunting)
Wow.
216
00:08:06,725 --> 00:08:08,809
The way you used that kid
having an asthma attack
217
00:08:08,811 --> 00:08:09,810
as a human shield?
218
00:08:09,812 --> 00:08:11,478
That took my breath away.
219
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,263
Yeah.
Okay, next,
220
00:08:13,265 --> 00:08:14,982
I'll be point guy
and you lay down cover.
221
00:08:14,984 --> 00:08:16,433
So I'm...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
222
00:08:16,435 --> 00:08:18,435
are you suggesting that
I will not be point guy?
223
00:08:18,437 --> 00:08:19,453
(laughs)
224
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:21,121
Look,
if Michael Jordan's healthy,
225
00:08:21,123 --> 00:08:23,373
you don't let Scottie Pippen
run the offense.
226
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,443
Oh, you're from Canada, right.
227
00:08:26,445 --> 00:08:28,045
If... how do I put this?
228
00:08:28,047 --> 00:08:30,581
If Wayne Gretzky's healthy,
you don't let...
229
00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:32,082
uh...
230
00:08:32,084 --> 00:08:33,617
François...
231
00:08:33,619 --> 00:08:37,971
What I'm saying is: hockey
is stupid and I'm point guy.
232
00:08:37,973 --> 00:08:40,257
Well, I'm point guy
or I'm off the team.
233
00:08:40,259 --> 00:08:43,177
Gah! You are the most stubborn
human being I have ever met!
234
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:44,228
You better get used to it...
235
00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:45,430
you're marrying a Scherbatsky.
236
00:08:45,431 --> 00:08:47,981
Your daughter is not
even a fraction
237
00:08:47,983 --> 00:08:52,135
as obstinate, stubborn
and... insane as you are!
238
00:08:52,137 --> 00:08:55,606
Where are you,
you son of a bitch?!
239
00:08:56,474 --> 00:08:58,075
Look away, kids,
she's about to pee.
240
00:08:58,077 --> 00:08:59,026
What...?
241
00:08:59,028 --> 00:09:00,611
I am not some animal.
242
00:09:00,613 --> 00:09:02,246
I peed 20 minutes ago
243
00:09:02,248 --> 00:09:04,581
and I buried it neatly
because I am a lady!
244
00:09:09,413 --> 00:09:12,452
Ted, we haven't used this chair
in the last year.
245
00:09:12,453 --> 00:09:14,920
Ergo, Triangle.
246
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,672
Yeah, I guess I see your point.
247
00:09:16,674 --> 00:09:19,341
I mean, if you haven't used it
in the last year...
248
00:09:19,343 --> 00:09:20,793
Oh! (laughs)
249
00:09:20,795 --> 00:09:21,760
Using it!
250
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:22,761
Italy!
251
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,096
Triangle!
252
00:09:24,098 --> 00:09:25,631
Italy.
253
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,915
Triangle!
Triangle!
254
00:09:26,917 --> 00:09:27,916
Italy.
255
00:09:27,918 --> 00:09:28,917
Okay, stop!
256
00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:30,019
Every time he lands,
257
00:09:30,021 --> 00:09:32,271
that chair farts out
ten-year-old Dorito dust.
258
00:09:32,273 --> 00:09:34,490
Yeah, it's the chair.
259
00:09:34,492 --> 00:09:37,443
Guys, trust me: you're gonna
want this chair in Italy.
260
00:09:37,445 --> 00:09:39,945
I... it'll feel like home.
261
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:41,864
All right, buddy.
262
00:09:41,866 --> 00:09:44,316
You win. Italy.
263
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,035
Really?
Yeah.
264
00:09:46,037 --> 00:09:47,619
We asked you to be
the judge here
265
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,621
and we gotta trust your opinion.
266
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:50,606
She's right.
267
00:09:50,608 --> 00:09:51,940
And with all the traveling
268
00:09:51,942 --> 00:09:53,242
that we'll be doing...
269
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,377
we could probably use
a couple of your...
270
00:09:55,379 --> 00:09:57,329
hands-free belt satchels.
271
00:09:58,214 --> 00:09:59,614
You said they were lame.
272
00:09:59,616 --> 00:10:01,166
I hate to admit it,
273
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:04,119
but they actually sound useful.
274
00:10:04,121 --> 00:10:06,555
Could you buy us a couple?
275
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:10,142
Two hands-free belt satchels,
coming right up.
276
00:10:10,144 --> 00:10:12,261
Oh, and don't worry,
I'll get cool colors
277
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:13,679
so you guys don't look like
278
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:16,265
whatever the Spanish term really
is for "Fanny Pack Dork."
279
00:10:22,439 --> 00:10:26,992
Men, it's us... versus them.
280
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,696
Our actions here today
281
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:32,614
will echo through eternity...
282
00:10:32,616 --> 00:10:34,500
Stand up straight, Kaden!
283
00:10:35,485 --> 00:10:38,820
I only have one rule,
you worthless maggots:
284
00:10:39,422 --> 00:10:41,790
We all respect each other.
285
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:43,842
I only have one rule:
286
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:46,178
For every three tens you bang,
287
00:10:46,180 --> 00:10:47,763
throw a bone to a five.
288
00:10:47,765 --> 00:10:50,082
They're grateful and
hard-working and let's face it,
289
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,700
sometimes you just want
to lay there.
290
00:10:51,702 --> 00:10:53,852
What's that got to do
with Laser Tag?
291
00:10:57,006 --> 00:11:00,192
Everything!
292
00:11:00,194 --> 00:11:01,393
...and we will prevail,
293
00:11:01,395 --> 00:11:03,562
even if it takes all night!
294
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,147
Tanner.
295
00:11:05,149 --> 00:11:07,199
I have to be home by 4:00.
296
00:11:07,201 --> 00:11:10,685
(ray gun zapping)
297
00:11:10,687 --> 00:11:13,038
Anyone else have
any scheduling issues?
298
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,923
You can take down anyone
on their team...
299
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:17,409
but I want the big man
for myself.
300
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:19,661
What's your beef with oldie?
301
00:11:19,663 --> 00:11:22,047
He's...
302
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,215
my father.
303
00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:24,216
Father-in-law.
304
00:11:24,218 --> 00:11:25,534
Shut up, Kai.
305
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,641
Wait a second...
306
00:11:32,643 --> 00:11:35,260
We get it, you pack
a lot in your fanny.
307
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,896
Obvious yet delightful.
308
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,431
Oh, no!
309
00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:47,906
No!
310
00:11:49,225 --> 00:11:51,360
El Ganso!
El Ganso!
311
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:52,578
Liars!
312
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:54,196
You sent me on a fool's errand.
313
00:11:54,198 --> 00:11:55,531
Okay, to be fair,
314
00:11:55,533 --> 00:11:58,233
buying a fanny pack is
inherently a fool's errand.
315
00:11:58,235 --> 00:12:00,369
Hands-free belt satchels.
316
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,704
And just for that,
I will not move from this chair
317
00:12:02,706 --> 00:12:04,006
until you agree to keep it!
318
00:12:04,008 --> 00:12:05,791
Ted, unlike that chair,
319
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:08,093
you, sir, are full of beans.
320
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,744
You have a job interview
in half an hour.
321
00:12:11,747 --> 00:12:12,714
Screw the interview.
322
00:12:12,716 --> 00:12:13,799
I'm staying.
323
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:18,270
And because the forecast
calls for rain...
324
00:12:18,272 --> 00:12:20,389
This... is a raincoat.
325
00:12:22,091 --> 00:12:23,475
(groans)
326
00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:24,776
(sighs)
327
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,116
Go for Barney.
328
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,485
Hey. Um...
329
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:34,786
I'm having an issue.
330
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,071
Now, listen, Robin...
331
00:12:36,073 --> 00:12:38,073
is this urgent or can we talk
about it later?
332
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,909
Nah, it's stupid.
333
00:12:40,911 --> 00:12:43,495
Have fun.
334
00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:45,380
(laughing)
335
00:12:45,382 --> 00:12:46,999
So long, losers!
336
00:12:47,001 --> 00:12:48,800
(laughing)
337
00:12:50,053 --> 00:12:51,003
Um...
338
00:12:51,005 --> 00:12:52,921
Look, can you guys
help me down?
339
00:12:52,923 --> 00:12:54,590
I... um...
340
00:12:54,592 --> 00:12:57,092
Ted, if this chair really
means that much to you,
341
00:12:57,094 --> 00:12:58,894
why don't you just
take it for yourself?
342
00:12:58,896 --> 00:13:01,463
No, it's important
that you keep it.
343
00:13:01,465 --> 00:13:02,564
Why?
344
00:13:02,566 --> 00:13:04,466
This is the first thing
we bought
345
00:13:04,468 --> 00:13:05,901
when we moved here
after college.
346
00:13:05,903 --> 00:13:09,271
It was the only piece of
furniture we had for a week.
347
00:13:09,273 --> 00:13:10,656
And now you two are
348
00:13:10,658 --> 00:13:12,157
moving to Italy.
349
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,442
What if our friendship
doesn't pass
350
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:15,777
the "Have you used it in a year"
test?
351
00:13:15,779 --> 00:13:18,697
If you can throw
out this chair...
352
00:13:18,699 --> 00:13:21,416
who's to say you can't
throw me out, too?
353
00:13:21,418 --> 00:13:22,918
That could never happen.
354
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,003
You're not a chair,
you're our best friend.
355
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,873
You can say that,
but a lot can change in a year.
356
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,658
Buddy, I...
357
00:13:29,660 --> 00:13:30,926
Look, I know I'm being crazy.
358
00:13:30,928 --> 00:13:33,512
I just...
359
00:13:33,514 --> 00:13:36,098
I just need a moment
with this chair.
360
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,217
You know... to say good-bye.
361
00:13:38,219 --> 00:13:40,886
We'll give you two
some space.
362
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:47,609
NARRATOR: Kids, you can't cling
to the past.
363
00:13:53,616 --> 00:13:57,903
Because no matter how tightly
you hold on...
364
00:13:58,854 --> 00:14:01,423
...it's already gone.
365
00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:06,912
Hello?
366
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,130
Hi.
367
00:14:08,132 --> 00:14:11,333
I'm at the Central Park Carousel
and, um...
368
00:14:11,335 --> 00:14:13,719
I'm having a little bit
of an issue.
369
00:14:13,721 --> 00:14:15,203
Uh, what kind of issue?
370
00:14:15,205 --> 00:14:18,090
Actually, it's a long story...
371
00:14:18,092 --> 00:14:20,092
Um, Robin, listen,
I'm-I'm late for a big meeting.
372
00:14:20,094 --> 00:14:21,226
Is it important?
373
00:14:22,545 --> 00:14:24,680
Nah, it's stupid.
374
00:14:24,682 --> 00:14:26,381
Good luck.
375
00:14:27,517 --> 00:14:29,651
All right, here's
the bottom line, cockroaches.
376
00:14:29,653 --> 00:14:31,403
There's no end in sight
377
00:14:31,405 --> 00:14:34,256
and we've got no provisions.
378
00:14:34,258 --> 00:14:35,407
If it comes down to it,
379
00:14:35,409 --> 00:14:38,827
I need a volunteer to let
the rest of us...
380
00:14:38,829 --> 00:14:39,861
eat him.
381
00:14:39,863 --> 00:14:41,896
Barney's team seems
way more fun.
382
00:14:41,898 --> 00:14:42,731
Nonsense.
383
00:14:42,733 --> 00:14:44,299
Candy for everyone!
384
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:45,534
(kids whooping)
385
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:47,919
Okay, Team Animal House...
who wants to try a cigar?
386
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,421
Yeah!
Yay! (laughs)
387
00:14:49,423 --> 00:14:51,673
I'm not saying we're gonna start
with your face or anything,
388
00:14:51,675 --> 00:14:53,175
but is there seriously
no one here
389
00:14:53,177 --> 00:14:55,294
willing to give up
a hand or a foot?
390
00:14:55,296 --> 00:14:56,628
We're outta here!
391
00:15:17,831 --> 00:15:19,856
Ted, why are you here?
392
00:15:19,857 --> 00:15:21,941
You had that meeting;
I told you not to come.
393
00:15:21,943 --> 00:15:23,776
You said, "Nah, it's stupid,"
394
00:15:23,778 --> 00:15:26,528
which is Robin-ese for,
"It's important."
395
00:15:26,530 --> 00:15:28,113
Everyone knows that.
396
00:15:30,149 --> 00:15:32,668
Well... not everyone.
397
00:15:33,703 --> 00:15:35,287
But you shouldn't have
skipped that meeting.
398
00:15:35,289 --> 00:15:36,488
Was it important?
399
00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:39,124
Nah, it's stupid.
400
00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:42,544
And yet, my future husband--
401
00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:45,330
who I sometimes fear
is troublingly similar
402
00:15:45,332 --> 00:15:48,183
to my emotionally
unavailable father--
403
00:15:48,185 --> 00:15:51,220
is off shooting laser guns
with, oh, yeah, you guessed it:
404
00:15:51,222 --> 00:15:53,355
my emotionally
unavailable father.
405
00:15:53,357 --> 00:15:54,723
Oh, come on, that's not fair.
406
00:15:54,725 --> 00:15:56,308
If you told Barney
that you needed him,
407
00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:57,526
he'd be here in a heartbeat.
408
00:15:57,528 --> 00:15:59,778
I didn't have to tell you.
409
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:02,014
And you're here.
410
00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:04,850
You don't even know why.
411
00:16:06,853 --> 00:16:09,989
Seems like I'm here to dig.
412
00:16:11,207 --> 00:16:14,076
(kids' ray guns zapping)
413
00:16:22,035 --> 00:16:24,586
Looking for "D"s?
414
00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:28,707
Long story short,
I promised my future self
415
00:16:28,709 --> 00:16:31,543
the locket would be my
"something old" at my wedding.
416
00:16:32,812 --> 00:16:33,929
What?
417
00:16:34,564 --> 00:16:36,065
No, I just like that there was
418
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:37,382
ever a version of you
419
00:16:37,384 --> 00:16:40,019
who imagined having a
"something old" at your wedding.
420
00:16:40,937 --> 00:16:43,322
Robin Scherbatsky--
you're a girl.
421
00:16:43,324 --> 00:16:44,556
Shut up. You're a girl.
422
00:16:44,558 --> 00:16:45,774
That's been established.
423
00:16:45,776 --> 00:16:48,694
The new information here
is that you're a girl.
424
00:16:51,081 --> 00:16:53,165
Wait... is that...?
425
00:16:53,167 --> 00:16:55,367
Oh, my God, I found it.
426
00:16:55,369 --> 00:16:56,568
(sighs, laughs)
427
00:16:58,505 --> 00:17:00,422
Okay...
428
00:17:00,424 --> 00:17:02,407
what's really going on
with this locket?
429
00:17:03,677 --> 00:17:04,960
(sighs)
430
00:17:04,962 --> 00:17:06,428
I'm gonna admit something
that I couldn't admit
431
00:17:06,430 --> 00:17:07,796
until I found this.
432
00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:11,834
I've been having fears
about marrying Barney.
433
00:17:12,919 --> 00:17:14,303
I mean, in many ways,
434
00:17:14,305 --> 00:17:17,356
he's-he's grown up
into a mature, caring adult...
435
00:17:17,358 --> 00:17:20,192
I'm gonna shoot you
with your own gun.
436
00:17:20,194 --> 00:17:22,695
(laughs manically)
437
00:17:22,697 --> 00:17:25,230
...but I still don't know
if he's ready for this.
438
00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:28,734
I still don't know if I am.
439
00:17:29,602 --> 00:17:31,787
But if I could find
this locket--
440
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:34,439
if it was still here,
waiting for me--
441
00:17:34,441 --> 00:17:36,291
that would mean
that the Universe
442
00:17:36,293 --> 00:17:37,793
wanted me to marry Barney.
443
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,912
And that everything
was gonna be okay.
444
00:17:41,247 --> 00:17:43,882
And when it was gone,
it was like...
445
00:17:43,884 --> 00:17:47,553
every doubt I-I ever had
about Barney,
446
00:17:47,555 --> 00:17:50,422
about myself, got dug up.
447
00:17:51,424 --> 00:17:53,092
But I found it. (laughs)
448
00:17:54,177 --> 00:17:55,978
And everything's gonna be okay.
449
00:17:58,765 --> 00:18:00,899
Any last words?
450
00:18:00,901 --> 00:18:02,851
You know, seeing you
on the field of battle--
451
00:18:02,853 --> 00:18:06,105
ruthless, manipulative,
untrustworthy--
452
00:18:06,107 --> 00:18:09,241
you've got all the qualities
I would've wanted in a son.
453
00:18:10,643 --> 00:18:12,111
Now I say to you
454
00:18:12,113 --> 00:18:14,279
the last words
my father said to me:
455
00:18:14,281 --> 00:18:16,498
"Shoot me already."
456
00:18:17,333 --> 00:18:20,986
Or we could keep playing,
if you want.
457
00:18:20,988 --> 00:18:23,839
Nah, it's stupid.
458
00:18:24,624 --> 00:18:27,159
Okay, Team Animal House,
I got him!
459
00:18:27,161 --> 00:18:28,293
Come on out!
460
00:18:28,295 --> 00:18:29,545
You're point guy, R-dawg.
461
00:18:29,547 --> 00:18:31,880
BOTH:
Woof, woof.
462
00:18:31,882 --> 00:18:34,266
(ray guns zapping)
463
00:18:35,452 --> 00:18:36,635
(phone blips)
464
00:18:53,036 --> 00:18:54,036
(phone blips)
465
00:18:54,038 --> 00:18:56,354
Oh, thank God.
466
00:19:08,601 --> 00:19:09,968
This is a sign
from the Universe.
467
00:19:09,970 --> 00:19:11,386
It's not a sign
from the Universe...
468
00:19:11,388 --> 00:19:12,387
Yes, it is!
469
00:19:12,389 --> 00:19:13,922
The-the locket is just gone
470
00:19:13,924 --> 00:19:15,974
and you're telling me
that doesn't mean anything?
471
00:19:15,976 --> 00:19:19,595
You know this is a bad omen,
Ted-- you're Universe Guy!
472
00:19:19,597 --> 00:19:20,929
And you're Skeptic Girl!
473
00:19:20,931 --> 00:19:22,314
You're-you're not supposed
to believe any of that.
474
00:19:22,316 --> 00:19:25,217
Well, maybe I've grown skeptical
of being skeptical.
475
00:19:26,019 --> 00:19:28,053
(voice breaking):
This is a sign.
476
00:19:28,055 --> 00:19:29,188
Look, it's not a sign.
477
00:19:29,190 --> 00:19:31,406
You're doing the right thing
marrying Barney.
478
00:19:31,408 --> 00:19:34,109
The Universe isn't
sending you some message.
479
00:19:34,111 --> 00:19:35,744
(thunder crashes)
480
00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:38,897
As we know from science,
481
00:19:38,899 --> 00:19:42,701
rain is liquid water
in the form of droplets
482
00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:45,070
which have condensed
from atmospheric vapor
483
00:19:45,072 --> 00:19:46,404
and then precipitated.
484
00:19:46,406 --> 00:19:47,339
It's not a sign.
485
00:19:47,341 --> 00:19:50,575
Ted, this is a sign
and you know it.
486
00:19:50,577 --> 00:19:54,179
I mean, the Universe is
screaming at me right now!
487
00:19:54,181 --> 00:19:55,881
How-how-how can you,
of all people,
488
00:19:55,883 --> 00:19:57,549
tell me to ignore that?
489
00:19:57,551 --> 00:20:01,086
Because maybe it's dumb to look
for "signs from the Universe."
490
00:20:01,088 --> 00:20:03,939
I mean, maybe the Universe
has better things to do.
491
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:05,691
Dear God, I hope it does.
492
00:20:05,693 --> 00:20:07,425
Do you know how many
"signs" I've gotten
493
00:20:07,427 --> 00:20:09,528
that I should or shouldn't
be with someone?
494
00:20:09,530 --> 00:20:11,446
And where has it gotten me?
495
00:20:12,565 --> 00:20:13,982
Maybe there aren't any signs.
496
00:20:13,984 --> 00:20:16,902
Maybe... maybe a locket's
just a locket,
497
00:20:16,904 --> 00:20:19,488
a chair is just a chair.
498
00:20:19,490 --> 00:20:20,739
Maybe we don't have to
499
00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:24,126
give meaning
to every little thing.
500
00:20:24,128 --> 00:20:26,295
Maybe we don't...
501
00:20:26,297 --> 00:20:28,213
maybe we don't need the Universe
502
00:20:28,215 --> 00:20:30,615
to tell us what we really want.
503
00:20:30,617 --> 00:20:34,169
Maybe we already know that,
deep down.
504
00:20:34,171 --> 00:20:37,422
♪ Sharpen them with lies
505
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:46,815
♪ And whatever's going down
506
00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:54,139
♪ Will follow you around
507
00:20:54,141 --> 00:20:55,691
♪ That's how you fight
loneliness... ♪
508
00:20:55,693 --> 00:21:00,693
== sync, corrected by elderman ==