1 00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:08,058 You're my best friend, Barney. 2 00:00:08,060 --> 00:00:09,026 Good. Then, as your best friend, 3 00:00:09,028 --> 00:00:10,961 I suggest we play a game I like to call 4 00:00:10,963 --> 00:00:12,362 Have You Met Ted? 5 00:00:12,364 --> 00:00:13,664 What? Oh, my God. 6 00:00:13,666 --> 00:00:15,232 I'm so stupid. 7 00:00:15,234 --> 00:00:16,300 Stay there. I'm on my way. 8 00:00:16,302 --> 00:00:17,785 ♪ Say, man 9 00:00:17,787 --> 00:00:19,870 ♪ Don't walk ahead of that woman ♪ 10 00:00:19,872 --> 00:00:22,072 ♪ Like she don't belong to you ♪ 11 00:00:22,074 --> 00:00:24,958 ♪ Just 'cause her got them little skinny legs ♪ 12 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,544 ♪ You know that ain't no way to do ♪ 13 00:00:27,546 --> 00:00:30,280 ♪ You didn't act like that when you had it home ♪ 14 00:00:30,282 --> 00:00:32,749 ♪ Behind closed doors 15 00:00:32,751 --> 00:00:34,885 ♪ All right 16 00:00:34,887 --> 00:00:38,222 ♪ Now you act like you're ashamed at a woman ♪ 17 00:00:38,224 --> 00:00:41,291 ♪ Don't even want nobody to know she's yours ♪ 18 00:00:41,293 --> 00:00:42,559 ♪ But that's all right ♪ 19 00:00:42,561 --> 00:00:49,216 ♪ You just walk on, baby 20 00:00:49,218 --> 00:00:50,884 Excuse me. Pardon me. 21 00:00:50,886 --> 00:00:53,654 ♪ Because there's some man somewhere who'll take you ♪ 22 00:00:53,656 --> 00:00:55,856 ♪ Baby, skinny legs and all 23 00:00:55,858 --> 00:00:57,641 I am so, so sorry. 24 00:00:57,643 --> 00:00:59,643 I went to the one on the West Side. 25 00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:01,629 I was beginning to think that you'd forgotten about me. 26 00:01:02,257 --> 00:01:06,257 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x16 ♪ How Your Mother Met Me Original Air Date on January 27, 2014 27 00:01:06,282 --> 00:01:11,282 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 28 00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:18,212 Kids, the night your Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall got engaged, 29 00:01:18,214 --> 00:01:20,797 the night I met Aunt Robin, was the night of your mom's 30 00:01:20,799 --> 00:01:23,100 21st birthday. Happy birthday. 31 00:01:23,102 --> 00:01:25,502 W-Where's Max? He couldn't get a cab. 32 00:01:25,504 --> 00:01:27,688 Which is code for "waited until the last minute 33 00:01:27,690 --> 00:01:29,172 to get me a birthday gift." 34 00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:30,140 Although... 35 00:01:30,142 --> 00:01:31,358 he always nails it. 36 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,443 Two years ago, he got me an exact replica 37 00:01:33,445 --> 00:01:35,028 of the Pee-wee's Big Adventure bike. 38 00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:37,865 And last year, he got me a one-man band suit 39 00:01:37,867 --> 00:01:39,816 including knee cymbals. 40 00:01:39,818 --> 00:01:41,568 And these are things you want? 41 00:01:41,570 --> 00:01:43,370 No, these are things I need. 42 00:01:43,372 --> 00:01:44,538 Oh, that's Max. 43 00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:45,873 Uh... I got to take this. 44 00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:48,041 Okay. 45 00:01:49,794 --> 00:01:51,962 Okay, you're officially super late now... 46 00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:58,752 Yes, this is she. 47 00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:39,376 Okay, this is ridiculous. 48 00:02:39,378 --> 00:02:41,828 You've been sitting around for two years. 49 00:02:41,830 --> 00:02:43,263 It's time to get back out there. 50 00:02:43,265 --> 00:02:45,966 I have not been sitting around. I have been hard at work. 51 00:02:45,968 --> 00:02:47,784 I think I'm about to enter my 52 00:02:47,786 --> 00:02:50,971 "Robots Doing Track and Field Events" period. 53 00:02:50,973 --> 00:02:52,055 It's a very exciting time. 54 00:02:53,058 --> 00:02:55,075 Sweetie. 55 00:02:55,077 --> 00:02:56,360 I love you. 56 00:02:56,362 --> 00:02:58,145 And I can't imagine what it was like 57 00:02:58,147 --> 00:02:59,696 going through what you went through. 58 00:02:59,698 --> 00:03:01,715 But these are your 20s. 59 00:03:01,717 --> 00:03:03,433 It's St. Patrick's Day. 60 00:03:03,435 --> 00:03:04,768 The holiday of my people. 61 00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:06,937 You're not Irish. Binge drinkers. 62 00:03:06,939 --> 00:03:08,021 Now, let's go. 63 00:03:08,023 --> 00:03:09,773 No, please don't make me go out there. 64 00:03:09,775 --> 00:03:10,791 It's gonna rain. 65 00:03:10,793 --> 00:03:12,826 Bring your umbrella. 66 00:03:16,665 --> 00:03:20,000 How is the bathroom line this long and yet the floor 67 00:03:20,002 --> 00:03:21,785 is covered with urine? If there's urine out here, 68 00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:23,754 what in God's name is going on in there? 69 00:03:23,756 --> 00:03:25,889 Screw this, we're holding it. Let's go dance. 70 00:03:25,891 --> 00:03:26,890 No, thanks. 71 00:03:26,892 --> 00:03:29,092 This is what I'm talking about. 72 00:03:29,094 --> 00:03:31,461 The love of your life could be on that dance floor, 73 00:03:31,463 --> 00:03:33,680 waiting for you to bump into him. 74 00:03:33,682 --> 00:03:36,149 If you're not there, he's just gonna bump into someone else. 75 00:03:36,151 --> 00:03:38,435 Somehow I doubt it. 76 00:03:38,437 --> 00:03:40,020 Oh, I'm sorry. 77 00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:41,421 No, that's okay. 78 00:03:41,423 --> 00:03:42,806 I'm going in. 79 00:03:42,808 --> 00:03:44,608 Wait, is that... 80 00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:45,809 Mitch. 81 00:03:45,811 --> 00:03:48,328 No way. Hi. 82 00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:50,080 What are you doing in New York? 83 00:03:50,082 --> 00:03:51,147 I live here. What? 84 00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:52,499 Uh, this is my friend, Kelly. 85 00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:53,667 Hey. Hi. 86 00:03:53,669 --> 00:03:55,585 Mitch was my instructor at orchestra camp. 87 00:03:55,587 --> 00:03:56,670 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Orchestra camp. 88 00:03:56,672 --> 00:03:57,788 It's not as lame as it sounds. 89 00:03:57,790 --> 00:03:59,589 We also did physics, so... Right. 90 00:03:59,591 --> 00:04:02,209 So, Mitch, what are you up to these days? 91 00:04:02,211 --> 00:04:03,343 I'm still teaching orchestra. 92 00:04:03,345 --> 00:04:05,212 I'm at this public school up in the Bronx. 93 00:04:05,214 --> 00:04:06,430 It's totally underfunded, 94 00:04:06,432 --> 00:04:07,831 a lot of the kids can't afford instruments, 95 00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,599 but I really... Take my cello. 96 00:04:09,601 --> 00:04:10,767 What? Yeah. 97 00:04:10,769 --> 00:04:12,052 Oh, yeah, you gotta take it. 98 00:04:12,054 --> 00:04:13,136 I haven't played it in years. 99 00:04:13,138 --> 00:04:14,170 It's just sitting in my closet. 100 00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:15,171 Give it to one of the kids! 101 00:04:15,173 --> 00:04:16,306 Wow, are you sure? 102 00:04:16,308 --> 00:04:17,474 Do you want to come and get it right now? 103 00:04:17,476 --> 00:04:19,059 Um... okay. 104 00:04:19,061 --> 00:04:21,895 Okay, great. Let's go. 105 00:04:21,897 --> 00:04:25,315 Okay, yes, you're doing something nice. 106 00:04:25,317 --> 00:04:26,850 But you're still bailing on me. 107 00:04:26,852 --> 00:04:29,986 So I guess, karmically... it evens out? 108 00:04:29,988 --> 00:04:31,738 I'm just worried about you. 109 00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:32,989 Don't be. 110 00:04:32,991 --> 00:04:33,990 Have fun. 111 00:04:33,992 --> 00:04:35,375 And who knows? 112 00:04:35,377 --> 00:04:37,694 Maybe you'll bump into someone tonight. 113 00:04:37,696 --> 00:04:39,496 Oh... 114 00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:45,469 Girl, I will sham-rock your world. 115 00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:49,222 Okay... 116 00:04:49,224 --> 00:04:51,675 I'll... 117 00:04:51,677 --> 00:04:52,759 We'll... 118 00:04:52,761 --> 00:04:54,895 Okay. 119 00:04:54,897 --> 00:04:57,013 Okay, here it is. 120 00:04:57,015 --> 00:04:58,899 I haven't played this 121 00:04:58,901 --> 00:05:01,334 since the popular girls locked me inside the case. 122 00:05:01,336 --> 00:05:04,271 Although it was roomier than when I played the violin... 123 00:05:04,273 --> 00:05:05,822 What are you doing?! 124 00:05:05,824 --> 00:05:07,190 I don't know. 125 00:05:07,192 --> 00:05:08,224 What am I doing? 126 00:05:08,226 --> 00:05:09,443 I don't know! What are you doing?! 127 00:05:09,445 --> 00:05:10,444 This is my thing... 128 00:05:10,446 --> 00:05:11,895 It most certainly is your thing. 129 00:05:11,897 --> 00:05:12,863 Now, please cover your thing up. 130 00:05:12,865 --> 00:05:14,197 Sorry. 131 00:05:14,199 --> 00:05:15,165 I-I meant... 132 00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:16,900 this move. 133 00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:18,018 It's my thing. 134 00:05:18,669 --> 00:05:19,920 I call it "The Naked Man." 135 00:05:19,922 --> 00:05:20,954 A few weeks ago, 136 00:05:20,956 --> 00:05:22,873 I was on a date, and it worked. 137 00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,958 And then I was on another date and it worked again, 138 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,593 so I figured it would work all the time. 139 00:05:26,595 --> 00:05:28,128 Well, now you know it doesn't work all the time. 140 00:05:28,130 --> 00:05:29,913 Yeah. 141 00:05:29,915 --> 00:05:31,998 Although two out of three... 142 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,101 Is this what it's gonna be like? 143 00:05:34,103 --> 00:05:36,753 Being single in New York? 144 00:05:36,755 --> 00:05:39,389 Even the nice guys turn out to be total creeps? 145 00:05:39,391 --> 00:05:43,193 I have gotten pretty creepy since I moved here. 146 00:05:43,195 --> 00:05:46,429 I feel so lost right now. 147 00:05:46,431 --> 00:05:48,431 I don't even know what I'm doing with my life. 148 00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:51,234 Can I tell you an embarrassing story? 149 00:05:51,236 --> 00:05:52,486 Is it this one? 150 00:05:52,488 --> 00:05:53,820 Taking place right now? 151 00:05:53,822 --> 00:05:55,739 I felt lost 152 00:05:55,741 --> 00:05:57,741 for a long time, too. 153 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,394 I was living in my parents' basement. 154 00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:03,964 Playing video games, mastur... 155 00:06:03,966 --> 00:06:05,715 ing those games, 156 00:06:05,717 --> 00:06:06,850 until 157 00:06:06,852 --> 00:06:08,218 I finally woke up 158 00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:11,138 and realized I wanted to follow my dream 159 00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:12,672 of teaching music. 160 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,476 Let me save you a few years. 161 00:06:16,478 --> 00:06:19,229 Even if it sound completely crazy... 162 00:06:19,231 --> 00:06:21,431 what is it you want to do with your life? 163 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:24,968 I want to end poverty. 164 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:26,403 Great. 165 00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:28,972 Then every decision you make from here on out 166 00:06:28,974 --> 00:06:31,291 should be in service of that. 167 00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:33,410 Wow. 168 00:06:33,412 --> 00:06:35,162 Thanks. 169 00:06:35,164 --> 00:06:36,580 You know, for a minute there, 170 00:06:36,582 --> 00:06:37,948 I totally forgot you were naked. 171 00:06:39,201 --> 00:06:41,001 In a way... 172 00:06:41,003 --> 00:06:42,752 aren't we all naked? 173 00:06:42,754 --> 00:06:45,038 Yeah, but your balls are on my couch. 174 00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:48,842 Hug? I will take a rain check. 175 00:06:48,844 --> 00:06:50,093 It's raining now. 176 00:06:50,095 --> 00:06:52,295 Oh, my umbrella! Oh! Uh... 177 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,548 I will be right back. 178 00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:55,765 Um... long story. 179 00:06:57,436 --> 00:06:59,186 Nothing happened, I swear. 180 00:06:59,188 --> 00:07:00,820 Then why are you naked? 181 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,357 Oh, what the hell? 182 00:07:05,643 --> 00:07:08,061 When I got to the club, it had already closed. 183 00:07:08,063 --> 00:07:09,679 By the next day, some super inconsiderate 184 00:07:09,681 --> 00:07:11,565 person had taken my umbrella. 185 00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:14,234 But by that point, I didn't care. 186 00:07:14,236 --> 00:07:16,369 I knew that if I really wanted to end poverty, 187 00:07:16,371 --> 00:07:19,489 I had to get a degree in economics. 188 00:07:19,491 --> 00:07:21,241 So... 189 00:07:21,243 --> 00:07:22,542 to answer your question, 190 00:07:22,544 --> 00:07:24,077 that's how I got here. 191 00:07:24,079 --> 00:07:27,030 I meant, how did you get here from the subway station? 192 00:07:27,032 --> 00:07:27,600 Oh. 193 00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:29,663 But I'm only asking 'cause I just moved to town. 194 00:07:29,968 --> 00:07:32,201 I don't even have a place to live yet. 195 00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:33,803 Yeah, you do. 196 00:07:33,805 --> 00:07:34,888 Come live with me. 197 00:07:34,890 --> 00:07:36,256 My roommate just moved out. 198 00:07:36,258 --> 00:07:37,507 Are you sure? 199 00:07:37,509 --> 00:07:38,475 You just met me. 200 00:07:38,477 --> 00:07:39,976 I could be a serial killer. 201 00:07:39,978 --> 00:07:41,978 I like to believe in people. 202 00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:45,632 Plus, what are the chances that we're both serial killers? 203 00:07:46,635 --> 00:07:48,018 Just promise me there won't be 204 00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:49,402 any naked men in the living room. 205 00:07:49,404 --> 00:07:50,687 Not a problem. 206 00:07:50,689 --> 00:07:54,024 I'm on permanent hiatus in the love department. 207 00:07:54,026 --> 00:07:55,025 Really? 208 00:07:55,027 --> 00:07:56,326 I find that hard to believe. 209 00:07:56,328 --> 00:07:57,727 I guess I'm old-fashioned. 210 00:07:57,729 --> 00:08:00,864 I believe that each of us only gets one. 211 00:08:00,866 --> 00:08:03,617 And I got mine already. 212 00:08:03,619 --> 00:08:04,918 Well, if you ask me, 213 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,037 you know what comes after the one? 214 00:08:07,039 --> 00:08:08,071 The next one. 215 00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:09,422 Oh, yeah. 216 00:08:09,424 --> 00:08:11,458 Well, I don't really see that happening 217 00:08:11,460 --> 00:08:13,877 any time soon. 218 00:08:13,879 --> 00:08:15,178 Hi. 219 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:16,513 Is this room seven? 220 00:08:20,941 --> 00:08:23,919 And so, if you must bring food to this class, 221 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,971 please bring enough for everyone. 222 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,906 I don't want to see someone 223 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,142 eating, say, lobster, in the front row 224 00:08:30,144 --> 00:08:32,461 without sharing with the rest of of us. 225 00:08:32,463 --> 00:08:33,928 Because that... 226 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:37,032 would be shellfish. 227 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,371 Come on, that was funny. 228 00:08:43,373 --> 00:08:45,323 Anyway... ...this is Architecture 101. 229 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,658 Architecture 101? 230 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,727 Oh, no, I'm in the wrong class! I have to go! 231 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,330 Oh, sorry. 232 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,381 Um... 233 00:08:53,383 --> 00:08:54,783 Oh, God. 234 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,151 Wait, I was in the right class. 235 00:08:56,153 --> 00:08:58,753 First day as a professor, wrong classroom, coming through! 236 00:09:02,225 --> 00:09:04,176 You play bass? 237 00:09:04,178 --> 00:09:05,894 Seriously, ask my friends. 238 00:09:05,896 --> 00:09:06,895 I always say 239 00:09:06,897 --> 00:09:08,180 my ideal woman... 240 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,131 ...does not play bass, 241 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,350 because this is clearly your roommate's. 242 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,518 She's in a band. 243 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,969 Damn, that's cool. 244 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,238 This is unbelievable. 245 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,240 You just picked out the only three things in here 246 00:09:18,242 --> 00:09:19,491 that are my roommate's. 247 00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:21,526 So does your roommate's band ever play shows or... 248 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:24,412 Get out. All right. 249 00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:48,002 Okay, this is crazy. 250 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,588 Do you know where this umbrella came from? 251 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:50,972 Because I could've sworn that I... 252 00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:53,325 What's wrong? 253 00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:54,476 Are you okay? 254 00:09:54,478 --> 00:09:55,861 We broke up. 255 00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:58,480 Oh... well, I never liked him, 256 00:09:58,482 --> 00:10:01,116 and I never thought he deserved you, and... 257 00:10:01,118 --> 00:10:03,184 I am sorry, I didn't know you were dating someone. 258 00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,119 Who was this? 259 00:10:04,121 --> 00:10:06,655 He was the architecture professor. 260 00:10:06,657 --> 00:10:09,357 The one who taught Econ 305 by accident. 261 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,858 Oh. 262 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,160 That guy? 263 00:10:12,162 --> 00:10:13,712 Why did you break up? 264 00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,247 He's got a thing for you. 265 00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:16,531 What? 266 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,699 Yeah, what? 267 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,033 He's... what? 268 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,419 How... um, how could he have a thing for me? 269 00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,721 He's never even met me. 270 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,038 He didn't have to. 271 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,341 Everything he saw of yours, he went crazy for. 272 00:10:26,343 --> 00:10:28,510 You should've brought him to my room. 273 00:10:28,512 --> 00:10:30,312 Okay? He would've run screaming 274 00:10:30,314 --> 00:10:31,930 once he saw my calligraphy set, 275 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,098 my coin collection, 276 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:36,067 my chain-mail corset from the Renaissance Faire. 277 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,019 Well, that's pretty cool. 278 00:10:38,021 --> 00:10:39,104 Come on. 279 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,822 How could he not be in love with you? 280 00:10:40,824 --> 00:10:42,890 The way you fall asleep on the couch 281 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,025 when you're doing the crossword. 282 00:10:44,027 --> 00:10:45,660 When did he see me fall asleep on... 283 00:10:45,662 --> 00:10:47,061 The way your hair smells. 284 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,798 The way your eyes sparkle. 285 00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,739 I might have some stuff to figure out. 286 00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:00,375 You might. I'm so sorry! 287 00:11:00,377 --> 00:11:02,294 No, uh, it's okay. 288 00:11:02,296 --> 00:11:03,745 It was nice. 289 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,048 I haven't been kissed in a really long time. 290 00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:09,968 Not long after that, she met a nice girl 291 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,853 and they fell in love, 292 00:11:11,855 --> 00:11:14,856 so it's a happy ending-- for Cindy anyway. 293 00:11:14,858 --> 00:11:17,359 I, however, am left without a roommate, 294 00:11:17,361 --> 00:11:19,561 so here we are. 295 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,230 I have a confession. 296 00:11:22,232 --> 00:11:24,532 Uh, I don't need a place to live. 297 00:11:24,534 --> 00:11:26,818 I saw your ad for the roommate, and I just... 298 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,620 I-I really wanted to meet you. 299 00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:32,707 I-I'm a huge fan of your band SuperFreakonomics. 300 00:11:32,709 --> 00:11:34,292 Oh, my gosh, really? 301 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,127 Really, come I to all your shows, 302 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,463 and I'm not just saying this-- I think you guys are 303 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,949 the best economic-themed band in the entire city. 304 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:44,085 Even better than Radiohedge Fund? 305 00:11:44,087 --> 00:11:45,337 Oh, absolutely. 306 00:11:45,339 --> 00:11:48,773 I wish I had the guts to do what you do. 307 00:11:49,425 --> 00:11:53,478 I love to sing, but... 308 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,263 You know what? 309 00:11:55,265 --> 00:11:58,966 Next time we do a show, you have got to come up onstage with us 310 00:11:58,968 --> 00:11:59,934 and sing a song. 311 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,853 Oh, no, I couldn't. Mm-hmm. 312 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,639 No, I'm, I'm, I'm too shy. 313 00:12:05,775 --> 00:12:08,643 ♪ But maybe just one song! 314 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,478 ♪ Yeah! 315 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:14,616 I mean, I don't like to think of SuperFreakonomics as my band. 316 00:12:14,618 --> 00:12:16,584 I think of it as my canvas 317 00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:19,487 upon which I paint my masterpieces. 318 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:23,375 And that right there is why I don't play bass. 319 00:12:27,162 --> 00:12:28,930 Can I help you with that? 320 00:12:28,932 --> 00:12:32,801 Uh, wow, thanks, Superman. 321 00:12:32,803 --> 00:12:34,769 No problem. 322 00:12:34,771 --> 00:12:35,670 It's either help you 323 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,389 or stop a train from going off a cliff, 324 00:12:37,391 --> 00:12:38,773 and you're much cuter. 325 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,008 Can I buy you a drink? 326 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,495 Oh, no, sorry, I'm 16. 327 00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:47,315 Oh, wow, sorry. 328 00:12:47,317 --> 00:12:48,516 Have a good night. 329 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,951 Wait, you believe that? 330 00:12:50,619 --> 00:12:51,820 I like you. 331 00:12:51,822 --> 00:12:54,322 Uh, sure, you can buy me a drink. 332 00:12:54,324 --> 00:12:55,890 MacLaren's. 333 00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:56,841 The last time I was here, 334 00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,676 I thought this place was called Puzzles. 335 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,078 That's an odd name. 336 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,963 Why would you call a bar Puzzles? 337 00:13:01,965 --> 00:13:04,716 Unless that's the puzzle. 338 00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:05,917 Well, um, 339 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,470 thank you for the drink. 340 00:13:08,472 --> 00:13:11,222 Uh, so, do you want to get dinner sometime? 341 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,425 Um... 342 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,729 Louis, you're really nice, but... 343 00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:20,899 I was in love with somebody a long time ago, 344 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,817 and he died. 345 00:13:22,819 --> 00:13:24,269 Oh, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. 346 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,739 Uh, it's silly, but... 347 00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:31,893 it's like the first lottery ticket I ever bought was... 348 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:36,114 kaboom, jackpot, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to win again, 349 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,449 not like that anyway, 350 00:13:37,451 --> 00:13:41,453 so I don't generally buy lottery tickets anymore. 351 00:13:41,455 --> 00:13:42,620 I understand. 352 00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,739 So I should... go. 353 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:48,009 Well, if you change your mind... 354 00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,745 ...give me a call. 355 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,180 Okay. 356 00:14:00,022 --> 00:14:02,440 Okay, now we're even! 357 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,225 What?! What?! 358 00:14:04,227 --> 00:14:06,694 So we got dinner. And? 359 00:14:08,096 --> 00:14:10,031 He's... nice. 360 00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:12,867 Nice? He sounds amazing! 361 00:14:12,869 --> 00:14:14,769 Handsome, good dresser, paid for dinner. 362 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,103 What more do you want? 363 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,105 Do you know how rough it is out there? 364 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,441 I once met a guy claiming to be a genie 365 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,076 whose penis grants wishes. 366 00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:25,163 Oh, my God, who would even fall for that? 367 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,582 The point is, Louis sounds great. 368 00:14:27,584 --> 00:14:30,451 And that's how your mom started dating Louis. 369 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:33,120 And for a couple years, it was fun. 370 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,974 ♪ One tasty English muffin 371 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:38,593 ♪ Baby, that is what I am 372 00:14:38,595 --> 00:14:39,644 ♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da 373 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:42,514 ♪ One tasty English muffin 374 00:14:42,516 --> 00:14:47,268 ♪ With some raspberry jam. 375 00:14:47,270 --> 00:14:49,103 That's funny. 376 00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:52,357 It just wasn't love. 377 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,809 But then fate intervened. 378 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:57,028 Anyway, you guys wouldn't, uh, happen to know of any 379 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,581 good wedding bands available at the last minute, would you? 380 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:04,619 Hi. One ticket to Farhampton, please. 381 00:15:04,621 --> 00:15:07,172 Now, Louis had a beach house out in Farhampton, 382 00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:08,706 so he let your mother stay there. 383 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,758 The day before the wedding, as she was taking 384 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,927 some cookies out of the oven, she got an e-mail. 385 00:15:12,929 --> 00:15:15,880 What the damn hell?! 386 00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:18,666 "Bass player wanted," that is what the ad said. 387 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,518 Can you believe that? 388 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:24,822 After I'm the one who invited Darren into the band. 389 00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,107 What am I gonna do? 390 00:15:26,109 --> 00:15:29,477 You need to steal this douche monkey's van. 391 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,981 Then run my husband over with it. 392 00:15:32,983 --> 00:15:34,983 Well, that's very tempting. 393 00:15:34,985 --> 00:15:37,318 I've never really been the type of person to... 394 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,671 "Must be hotter than the girl we have now, 395 00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:42,407 who, in my opinion, is a six at best"? 396 00:15:46,128 --> 00:15:49,747 Aw, geez, what is this knucklehead doing? 397 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,587 Excuse me! Hey! 398 00:15:55,589 --> 00:15:57,255 You guys need a lift? 399 00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,890 The best man just punched me 400 00:15:58,892 --> 00:16:00,475 in the face for no reason. 401 00:16:00,477 --> 00:16:01,476 You know what? I quit. 402 00:16:01,478 --> 00:16:03,094 You can have your stupid band back. 403 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,982 Linus, whoever that best man is, 404 00:16:07,984 --> 00:16:11,736 I would like to buy him a double of your finest scotch. 405 00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,364 Louis! 406 00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,555 Will you marry me? 407 00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:39,939 Can you give me a minute? Um... okay. 408 00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:42,724 There's someone that I need to talk to. 409 00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,061 I'll-I'll be right back. 410 00:16:56,639 --> 00:17:00,692 Hi, Max. It's me. 411 00:17:00,694 --> 00:17:02,294 Sorry to interrupt. 412 00:17:02,296 --> 00:17:05,480 I know you're probably up there playing baseball with your dad. 413 00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:10,619 Um, look, I-I've got a situation here. 414 00:17:10,621 --> 00:17:15,207 I think that I have been holding myself back 415 00:17:15,209 --> 00:17:18,510 from falling in love again. 416 00:17:18,512 --> 00:17:23,298 And I think it's because I can't let you go. 417 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,251 But you're not here anymore... 418 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:31,056 so I have to ask this: 419 00:17:31,058 --> 00:17:35,727 Would it be okay if I moved on? 420 00:17:37,313 --> 00:17:40,949 I realize that you have no way of answering that, 421 00:17:40,951 --> 00:17:42,284 but, um... 422 00:17:42,286 --> 00:17:44,152 Oh, okay... 423 00:17:44,154 --> 00:17:47,772 I will take that as yes. 424 00:17:47,774 --> 00:17:51,910 Um, in that case, I should get back in there. 425 00:17:58,501 --> 00:18:02,620 I guess this is it. 426 00:18:02,622 --> 00:18:04,506 For real this time. 427 00:18:06,976 --> 00:18:09,177 Bye, Max. 428 00:18:24,444 --> 00:18:26,862 So? 429 00:18:34,921 --> 00:18:37,372 My answer is... 430 00:18:37,374 --> 00:18:39,074 no. 431 00:18:53,672 --> 00:18:55,223 You're in luck. 432 00:18:55,225 --> 00:18:57,059 Mother of the bride never checked in. 433 00:18:57,860 --> 00:18:58,977 How many keys will you be needing? 434 00:18:58,979 --> 00:18:59,945 Just one. 435 00:18:59,947 --> 00:19:01,346 Yeah. I just... 436 00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:04,032 I broke up with someone. 437 00:19:07,870 --> 00:19:11,773 I think room number six is the room for you. 438 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,191 Thank you. 439 00:20:10,933 --> 00:20:15,353 ♪ Hold me close and hold me fast ♪ 440 00:20:15,355 --> 00:20:18,223 ♪ This magic spell you cast 441 00:20:18,225 --> 00:20:22,444 ♪ This is la vie en rose 442 00:20:22,446 --> 00:20:26,815 ♪ When you kiss me, Heaven sighs ♪ 443 00:20:26,817 --> 00:20:29,934 ♪ And though I close my eyes 444 00:20:29,936 --> 00:20:34,489 ♪ I see la vie en rose 445 00:20:34,491 --> 00:20:38,660 ♪ When you press me to your heart ♪ 446 00:20:38,662 --> 00:20:40,996 ♪ I'm in a world apart ♪ 447 00:20:40,998 --> 00:20:45,283 ♪ A world where roses bloom 448 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:50,972 ♪ And when you speak, angels sing from above ♪ 449 00:20:50,974 --> 00:20:53,892 ♪ Everyday words 450 00:20:53,894 --> 00:20:59,514 ♪ Seem to turn into love songs 451 00:21:00,933 --> 00:21:05,020 ♪ Give your heart and soul to me ♪ 452 00:21:05,022 --> 00:21:09,774 ♪ And life will always be 453 00:21:09,776 --> 00:21:14,946 ♪ La vie en rose. 454 00:21:22,538 --> 00:21:24,923 Kids, I must have heard your mom's rendition 455 00:21:24,925 --> 00:21:27,992 of "La Vie en Rose" a million times over the years. 456 00:21:27,994 --> 00:21:30,262 Every night when she tucked you in, for instance. 457 00:21:30,264 --> 00:21:31,379 But that performance, 458 00:21:31,381 --> 00:21:33,965 that first night I ever heard her sing, 459 00:21:33,967 --> 00:21:36,735 that one will always be my favorite. 460 00:21:40,941 --> 00:21:42,442 Wow. 461 00:21:42,728 --> 00:21:46,647 Barney, I was just out there on the patio... 462 00:21:46,649 --> 00:21:49,016 and there's someone in the room next to us. 463 00:21:49,018 --> 00:21:50,484 I didn't see her, but... 464 00:21:50,486 --> 00:21:52,235 Well, she was playing the ukulele... 465 00:21:58,393 --> 00:21:59,760 Barney?