1 00:00:00,613 --> 00:00:03,900 Kids, it's not always rational, but people on their wedding day 2 00:00:03,901 --> 00:00:05,818 sometimes find themselves panicking 3 00:00:05,820 --> 00:00:08,070 about whether they've made the best choice. 4 00:00:08,072 --> 00:00:09,555 I have a better tie at home! 5 00:00:09,557 --> 00:00:11,574 It's cornflower blue. It's cornflower blue! 6 00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:14,944 But lucky for Barney, he was marrying a rock. 7 00:00:14,946 --> 00:00:16,645 I can't go through with this wedding. 8 00:00:21,284 --> 00:00:23,319 Last year, when you helped Victoria escape this church, 9 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:25,404 how hard was it to climb down that drainpipe? 10 00:00:25,406 --> 00:00:26,455 Extremely hard. 11 00:00:26,457 --> 00:00:27,957 Okay, so that means super easy. Thanks. 12 00:00:27,959 --> 00:00:29,125 Wait, wait. Stop, stop. 13 00:00:29,127 --> 00:00:30,543 What the hell are you doing? 14 00:00:30,545 --> 00:00:32,161 I just... I can't go through with this! 15 00:00:32,163 --> 00:00:34,096 No, no. Sorry. I refuse to be a part 16 00:00:34,098 --> 00:00:35,414 of a third runaway bride situation. 17 00:00:35,416 --> 00:00:37,183 It's like the dude 18 00:00:37,185 --> 00:00:39,218 in that documentary who kept having women show up dead 19 00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:40,419 at the bottom of his staircase. 20 00:00:40,421 --> 00:00:41,771 Sure, maybe they all tripped, but it's like, 21 00:00:41,773 --> 00:00:43,422 do you want to hang out with that guy? 22 00:00:43,424 --> 00:00:45,775 Gonna think I'm insane, but... 23 00:00:45,777 --> 00:00:49,528 I still think that it's a bad sign I never found that locket. 24 00:00:56,953 --> 00:01:00,656 Some part of me thought that Barney would magically find it. 25 00:01:00,658 --> 00:01:01,774 I know. 26 00:01:01,776 --> 00:01:03,108 I know that's unfair of me 27 00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:06,278 to expect that, but... you know, I want to be with a guy 28 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,831 who comes through for me, you know? 29 00:01:08,833 --> 00:01:10,316 The guy who, 30 00:01:10,318 --> 00:01:13,219 somehow, against all odds, 31 00:01:13,221 --> 00:01:15,721 finds my locket. 32 00:01:15,723 --> 00:01:18,790 Okay, just, um... just calm down, stay put. 33 00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:21,894 Uh, I'm-I'm gonna go get you some water, okay? 34 00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:44,580 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x22 ♪ The End of the Aisle Original Air Date on March 24, 2014 35 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:49,605 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 36 00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:53,959 Uh, listen, I have something for you, 37 00:01:53,961 --> 00:01:55,761 but before I give it to you, 38 00:01:55,763 --> 00:01:57,880 I just want to make sure you're okay. 39 00:01:57,882 --> 00:01:59,665 I was freaking out a little earlier, 40 00:01:59,667 --> 00:02:02,101 but Lily and Marshall calmed me down. I'm okay. 41 00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:04,553 Good, good. So, Robin's a little nervous. 42 00:02:04,555 --> 00:02:06,021 Nervous? Why is she nervous? 43 00:02:06,023 --> 00:02:07,339 I'm not nervous! Who's nervous?! 44 00:02:07,341 --> 00:02:08,858 No one needs to be nervous! 45 00:02:08,860 --> 00:02:11,477 Cornflower blue, Ted. Cornflower blue! 46 00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:14,697 First off, kudos to Marshall and Lily for calming you down. 47 00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:20,236 Second, do you... you remember Robin's locket? 48 00:02:20,238 --> 00:02:21,904 Yeah, of course. 49 00:02:21,906 --> 00:02:23,822 She never found it. 50 00:02:26,409 --> 00:02:28,360 Whoa. How did you...? 51 00:02:28,362 --> 00:02:30,212 I never told you about it because I was afraid 52 00:02:30,214 --> 00:02:31,380 you'd take it the wrong way, 53 00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:32,898 but I actually wound up tracking it down. 54 00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:35,301 It's a long story. 55 00:02:35,303 --> 00:02:37,887 I was gonna give it to Robin as a surprise, 56 00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:41,039 but... she needs it to come from you. 57 00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:43,208 Ted, I don't know. 58 00:02:43,210 --> 00:02:45,094 Take it. Please. 59 00:02:45,096 --> 00:02:47,096 How'd you find it? 60 00:02:47,098 --> 00:02:49,098 I didn't find it. 61 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:51,216 You found it. 62 00:03:00,694 --> 00:03:02,411 Hey. Hey. 63 00:03:02,413 --> 00:03:03,913 What you writing? 64 00:03:03,915 --> 00:03:05,497 Um, it's my wedding day. 65 00:03:05,499 --> 00:03:06,949 What do you think I'm writing? 66 00:03:06,951 --> 00:03:08,000 Suicide note? 67 00:03:08,002 --> 00:03:10,035 Hey-yo! 68 00:03:10,037 --> 00:03:11,787 Oh, God, is it a suicide note? 69 00:03:11,789 --> 00:03:13,923 Oh, my God, how many pills did you take? 70 00:03:13,925 --> 00:03:15,541 Quick. How do we make him vomit? 71 00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:17,760 Uh, remind him he's getting married. Hey-yo! 72 00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:19,411 Wait. Now I'm confused. 73 00:03:19,413 --> 00:03:21,080 Are you dying? 74 00:03:21,082 --> 00:03:22,681 I'm writing my vows to Robin, 75 00:03:22,683 --> 00:03:25,217 but I want them to be profound and inspiring, 76 00:03:25,219 --> 00:03:27,586 as if they were written by the bard himself, 77 00:03:27,588 --> 00:03:29,488 Lionel Richie. 78 00:03:29,490 --> 00:03:30,606 Then why did you wait 79 00:03:30,608 --> 00:03:32,141 until right before the wedding to compose them? 80 00:03:32,143 --> 00:03:33,275 I didn't. I've been trying 81 00:03:33,277 --> 00:03:35,060 to get these right for weeks. Oh. 82 00:03:35,062 --> 00:03:36,762 This is a lot of vows. 83 00:03:36,764 --> 00:03:38,981 Vow-za. 84 00:03:38,983 --> 00:03:40,566 I'll say it again. Vow-za. 85 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,318 Are you really gonna read all of these? 86 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,403 Yeah, uh, wouldn't it be better to project them 87 00:03:44,405 --> 00:03:45,571 as a VowerPoint presentation? 88 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,656 Say it again. VowerPoint... 89 00:03:47,658 --> 00:03:49,792 I know it's a lot, but I-I don't 90 00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:52,110 want to screw up this wedding thing. 91 00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:54,780 "I vow to love you forever unconditionally, 92 00:03:54,782 --> 00:03:57,449 "unless you pudge out, in which case 93 00:03:57,451 --> 00:04:00,419 I'm a Barney-shaped hole in the wall." 94 00:04:00,421 --> 00:04:02,471 "I vow to start watching hockey with you.."" 95 00:04:02,473 --> 00:04:03,622 Oh, that one's sweet. 96 00:04:03,624 --> 00:04:05,174 I know how much you hate hockey. 97 00:04:05,176 --> 00:04:06,425 "...once a month"" 98 00:04:06,427 --> 00:04:07,926 But it's still a nice gesture. 99 00:04:07,928 --> 00:04:09,595 "No. Once a year. No. Hockey's dumb. 100 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,313 "Not watching it, and neither are you, woman. 101 00:04:11,315 --> 00:04:12,514 Now make me French toast"" 102 00:04:12,516 --> 00:04:14,299 I'll put this in the maybe pile. 103 00:04:15,135 --> 00:04:17,319 Look, if you're having trouble, 104 00:04:17,321 --> 00:04:19,154 you've got two expert vow consultants 105 00:04:19,156 --> 00:04:20,906 standing right in front of you. 106 00:04:20,908 --> 00:04:23,108 Yeah. We can show you vow it's done. 107 00:04:24,561 --> 00:04:26,078 Say it again. Vow it's done... 108 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,614 We're just not enjoying them, honey. 109 00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,833 I am not gonna take marriage advice from a couple 110 00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,701 who just got in a gigantic fight. 111 00:04:32,703 --> 00:04:34,319 I'm doing fine on my own. 112 00:04:34,321 --> 00:04:35,954 No, you're not. 113 00:04:35,956 --> 00:04:39,508 All of these vows are selfish and way too easy to keep. 114 00:04:39,510 --> 00:04:42,211 Wedding vows need to be real commitments, 115 00:04:42,213 --> 00:04:43,612 like our vows. 116 00:04:43,614 --> 00:04:44,763 Poppycock! 117 00:04:44,765 --> 00:04:45,964 What are you talking about? 118 00:04:45,966 --> 00:04:48,133 I remember your precious wedding vows, 119 00:04:48,135 --> 00:04:51,620 and I guarantee you've broken every single one of them. 120 00:04:51,622 --> 00:04:53,022 Vow dare you! 121 00:04:53,024 --> 00:04:54,023 Just stop. 122 00:04:54,025 --> 00:04:57,126 I can't. It's invowluntary. 123 00:04:57,128 --> 00:04:59,028 Yeah. 124 00:04:59,030 --> 00:05:00,813 Hey. You asked for me? 125 00:05:00,815 --> 00:05:02,865 Look what Barney just gave me. 126 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,701 No way! 127 00:05:05,703 --> 00:05:07,953 See? Barney came through. 128 00:05:07,955 --> 00:05:09,321 There's your sign. 129 00:05:09,323 --> 00:05:10,856 You're good to go. 130 00:05:10,858 --> 00:05:12,624 Where'd you find the locket, Ted? 131 00:05:18,714 --> 00:05:20,247 Where did you find the locket? 132 00:05:20,249 --> 00:05:22,099 Me? Why-why are you asking me? 133 00:05:22,101 --> 00:05:23,968 Barney found it. Ask him. 134 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,419 What, you lost a locket? 135 00:05:25,421 --> 00:05:27,571 Barney wouldn't tell me how he found it, 136 00:05:27,573 --> 00:05:30,391 which made me realize it had to be you. 137 00:05:30,393 --> 00:05:32,443 Okay. 138 00:05:32,445 --> 00:05:34,528 I'll embarrass him. 139 00:05:34,530 --> 00:05:36,781 Your fiancé got a metal detector 140 00:05:36,783 --> 00:05:39,900 and scoured a 10,000-square-foot grid around that carousel. 141 00:05:39,902 --> 00:05:41,619 Guess where he found it. 142 00:05:41,621 --> 00:05:44,205 The nest of a mama pigeon. 143 00:05:44,207 --> 00:05:46,991 Barney had to wrestle it away from four baby pigeons. 144 00:05:46,993 --> 00:05:48,893 But here's where the story gets bittersweet. 145 00:05:48,895 --> 00:05:51,912 I lied. Barney said it was in Marshall and Lily's basement. 146 00:05:51,914 --> 00:05:55,416 But do you still want to finish your little pigeon story? 147 00:05:55,418 --> 00:05:57,385 The mama pigeon gets killed by a cab. 148 00:05:57,387 --> 00:05:59,670 Barney still goes back to the park every day 149 00:05:59,672 --> 00:06:01,589 to feed the babies. The end. 150 00:06:02,457 --> 00:06:04,592 Tell me the truth. 151 00:06:05,460 --> 00:06:07,478 Okay, I-I tracked it down, 152 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,847 and I gave it to Barney to give to you. 153 00:06:09,849 --> 00:06:11,282 Honestly, it was no big deal. 154 00:06:11,284 --> 00:06:12,266 How did you find it? 155 00:06:12,268 --> 00:06:14,802 Psh. How does anybody find anything? 156 00:06:14,804 --> 00:06:15,936 You hear it might be in your 157 00:06:15,938 --> 00:06:17,154 race car pencil box. It's not there. 158 00:06:17,156 --> 00:06:18,406 So you swing by your ex-fiancée's 159 00:06:18,408 --> 00:06:19,523 storage locker on the opposite coast. 160 00:06:19,525 --> 00:06:20,658 It's not there. 161 00:06:20,660 --> 00:06:22,243 You learn Victoria has it in Germany, 162 00:06:22,245 --> 00:06:23,911 but Jeanette intercepts it, throws it in Central Park Lake. 163 00:06:23,913 --> 00:06:25,529 It's a nice day for a swim, so what the heck? 164 00:06:25,531 --> 00:06:27,448 You dive in, scoop it up, make it home in time for Jeopardy! 165 00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:28,949 Ease to the pease. Happy wedding. 166 00:06:32,921 --> 00:06:35,773 You're seriously questioning our wedding vows? 167 00:06:35,775 --> 00:06:38,042 Us? Uh, we're adorable. 168 00:06:38,044 --> 00:06:41,011 We're Marshmallow and Lilypad, bitch. 169 00:06:41,013 --> 00:06:42,880 Okay, I'll give you this. 170 00:06:42,882 --> 00:06:45,833 Your little pre-wedding wedding out by the tree-- 171 00:06:45,835 --> 00:06:48,001 you said some very sweet stuff. 172 00:06:48,003 --> 00:06:50,104 Hell, Ted even cried. 173 00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:52,089 Ted. 174 00:06:52,924 --> 00:06:55,276 But later, at the actual wedding... 175 00:06:55,278 --> 00:06:56,594 Lily Aldrin, 176 00:06:56,596 --> 00:07:00,381 I vow to be there for you in sickness and in health. 177 00:07:00,383 --> 00:07:01,649 Hate to tell you, Lilypad, 178 00:07:01,651 --> 00:07:03,517 but Marshall has since confessed to me 179 00:07:03,519 --> 00:07:05,786 that en route to your honeymoon... 180 00:07:05,788 --> 00:07:08,239 Oh. Oh, God. 181 00:07:11,861 --> 00:07:13,627 You son of a beech. You son of a beech. 182 00:07:13,629 --> 00:07:15,195 Do you deny it? 183 00:07:16,865 --> 00:07:18,332 Lily, you know I'm not a vomit guy, 184 00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:20,134 and I just thought I should give you your space. 185 00:07:20,136 --> 00:07:21,418 Like a dying cat. 186 00:07:21,420 --> 00:07:22,653 Oh, yeah, that saves it. 187 00:07:22,655 --> 00:07:24,038 I'm so sorry I let you down. 188 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,039 Hang on there, Marshmallow. 189 00:07:26,041 --> 00:07:28,559 Remember when the blushing bride said... 190 00:07:28,561 --> 00:07:31,846 I vow to honor and respect you. 191 00:07:31,848 --> 00:07:34,315 Maybe she was blushing because she was lying her ass off. 192 00:07:34,317 --> 00:07:35,649 Not two months later... 193 00:07:35,651 --> 00:07:37,601 Shh. Okay. Okay. 194 00:07:40,221 --> 00:07:41,922 Hey, not cool! 195 00:07:41,924 --> 00:07:45,493 You will not take a picture of my husband like that! 196 00:07:49,682 --> 00:07:51,015 You took part 197 00:07:51,017 --> 00:07:53,400 in the bearded Wonder Woman incident of 2007? 198 00:07:53,402 --> 00:07:55,903 Lily, that photo got all over Friendster 199 00:07:55,905 --> 00:07:59,740 and Myspace and... man, 2007 was a long time ago. 200 00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:01,792 Ted, I can't believe 201 00:08:01,794 --> 00:08:03,928 how much trouble you went through to get this for me. 202 00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:05,763 It really wasn't that much trouble. 203 00:08:05,765 --> 00:08:06,997 Yes, it was. 204 00:08:07,766 --> 00:08:09,750 You always go big for me. 205 00:08:09,752 --> 00:08:11,519 Not as big as Barney. 206 00:08:11,521 --> 00:08:13,854 Canadian rehearsal dinner on ice-- big. 207 00:08:13,856 --> 00:08:15,639 The way he proposed-- huge. 208 00:08:15,641 --> 00:08:16,857 Yeah, but think about it. 209 00:08:16,859 --> 00:08:18,142 Those are the most loving things 210 00:08:18,144 --> 00:08:19,727 that Barney has ever done for me, 211 00:08:19,729 --> 00:08:21,045 and they're all based on lies. 212 00:08:21,047 --> 00:08:23,314 Right down to taking credit for this locket. 213 00:08:23,316 --> 00:08:24,532 That's not fair. 214 00:08:24,534 --> 00:08:25,866 I told Barney to take credit for it. 215 00:08:25,868 --> 00:08:27,868 Which he did without blinking an eye. 216 00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:28,769 Because lying 217 00:08:28,771 --> 00:08:30,287 is second nature to Barney. 218 00:08:30,289 --> 00:08:31,488 Everything's legendary. 219 00:08:31,490 --> 00:08:32,990 You know what "legendary" means? 220 00:08:32,992 --> 00:08:34,274 Not real. 221 00:08:34,276 --> 00:08:36,410 I mean, the man's initials are "B.S." 222 00:08:36,412 --> 00:08:39,914 If it helps, I'm pretty sure Barney Stinson's a fake name. 223 00:08:40,398 --> 00:08:42,199 I'm kidding. 224 00:08:42,201 --> 00:08:45,619 You're the one who always comes through for me, Ted. 225 00:08:45,621 --> 00:08:48,389 The one who's there for me. 226 00:08:49,474 --> 00:08:51,675 Maybe I'm making a mistake. 227 00:08:51,677 --> 00:08:54,578 Wait. What-what are you saying? 228 00:08:56,014 --> 00:08:58,482 Maybe I should be marrying you. 229 00:09:00,051 --> 00:09:02,302 Wait. I know one vow we kept. 230 00:09:02,304 --> 00:09:06,523 I vow to make you breakfast in bed every Sunday morning. 231 00:09:06,525 --> 00:09:07,558 Really? You still do that? 232 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:10,110 Absolutely. 233 00:09:12,531 --> 00:09:14,782 Heads up! 234 00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:18,786 Oh! No cream cheese? 235 00:09:19,588 --> 00:09:21,655 Oh. 236 00:09:21,657 --> 00:09:24,124 Oh! 237 00:09:24,126 --> 00:09:26,093 You feed her like Sloth from Goonies. 238 00:09:26,095 --> 00:09:27,695 So the magic's still there. 239 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,013 Well, here's one 240 00:09:29,015 --> 00:09:30,965 you definitely didn't keep. 241 00:09:30,967 --> 00:09:34,668 I vow to keep the romantic spark alive. 242 00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:37,204 And how is that going for you these days? 243 00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:38,639 Are you watching Marvin? 244 00:09:38,641 --> 00:09:40,057 I'm trimming my nose hair. 245 00:09:40,059 --> 00:09:41,475 I'm dumping out. 246 00:09:41,477 --> 00:09:43,310 I watched him all morning, Lily. 247 00:09:43,312 --> 00:09:44,478 I need a break. 248 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,614 I don't control when my deuces happen, Marshall. 249 00:09:46,616 --> 00:09:48,816 Deuces are wild! 250 00:09:50,903 --> 00:09:52,052 Ted, 251 00:09:52,054 --> 00:09:54,038 I should be with you. 252 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,040 There it was-- the words 253 00:09:56,042 --> 00:09:58,642 that some deep, dark part of me always wanted to hear. 254 00:09:58,644 --> 00:09:59,877 But it's funny. 255 00:09:59,879 --> 00:10:02,146 Once you actually hear those words out loud... 256 00:10:02,148 --> 00:10:03,964 I don't want to hear that. 257 00:10:03,966 --> 00:10:05,049 We should get out of here. 258 00:10:05,051 --> 00:10:07,835 You and me right now. We'll... 259 00:10:07,837 --> 00:10:09,470 We'll move to Chicago. W-We'll start a new life. 260 00:10:09,472 --> 00:10:10,671 It'll-it'll be painful at first, 261 00:10:10,673 --> 00:10:12,206 but, hell, I can root for the Blackhawks. 262 00:10:12,208 --> 00:10:13,474 Stop! Stop! 263 00:10:13,476 --> 00:10:15,509 You're just saying this because you're scared. 264 00:10:15,511 --> 00:10:18,212 I am not your future. Barney is. 265 00:10:18,214 --> 00:10:21,665 Shouldn't I be with the guy who finds me my locket? 266 00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:24,685 The guy who steals me the blue French horn. 267 00:10:24,687 --> 00:10:26,854 I mean, look me in the eye and tell me, 268 00:10:26,856 --> 00:10:28,439 why shouldn't I be with that guy? 269 00:10:28,441 --> 00:10:31,525 Because I'm not that guy anymore. 270 00:10:31,527 --> 00:10:35,112 Then why did you work so hard to find me my locket? 271 00:10:35,114 --> 00:10:36,747 It... it was a wedding gift. 272 00:10:36,749 --> 00:10:38,866 Ted, stop it, okay? I know you better than that. 273 00:10:38,868 --> 00:10:40,868 This is more than a wedding gift. 274 00:10:40,870 --> 00:10:44,171 Maybe it started out that way. Maybe some part of me thought... 275 00:10:44,173 --> 00:10:46,623 That you still loved me. 276 00:10:46,625 --> 00:10:48,042 Maybe. 277 00:10:48,044 --> 00:10:49,677 But the truth is... 278 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:51,762 I don't love you like that anymore. 279 00:10:52,681 --> 00:10:54,081 And you don't love me. 280 00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:55,232 You love Barney. 281 00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:56,550 And if you think 282 00:10:56,552 --> 00:10:59,720 I would ever be part of screwing that up, 283 00:10:59,722 --> 00:11:02,623 then maybe you don't know me at all, Robin. 284 00:11:04,326 --> 00:11:05,976 I... I can't shake it. 285 00:11:05,978 --> 00:11:07,644 I-I can't shake this feeling 286 00:11:07,646 --> 00:11:11,098 that nothing about me and Barney makes any sense. 287 00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:13,283 But love doesn't make sense. 288 00:11:13,285 --> 00:11:14,368 I mean, you can't 289 00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:16,370 logic your way into or out of it. 290 00:11:16,372 --> 00:11:20,240 Love is totally nonsensical, but we have to keep doing it 291 00:11:20,242 --> 00:11:23,276 or else we're lost and-and love is dead 292 00:11:23,278 --> 00:11:25,462 and humanity should just pack it in. 293 00:11:25,464 --> 00:11:28,499 Because love is the best thing we do. 294 00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:32,886 Look, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's-it's just true. 295 00:11:32,888 --> 00:11:36,840 You love Barney, and-and he loves you. 296 00:11:36,842 --> 00:11:39,510 And that doesn't have to make sense 297 00:11:39,512 --> 00:11:41,478 to make sense. 298 00:11:43,848 --> 00:11:47,651 Remember back when you had never even seen me pee? 299 00:11:47,653 --> 00:11:49,987 Yeah. Yeah. 300 00:11:49,989 --> 00:11:51,572 Oh, sorry. 301 00:11:51,574 --> 00:11:52,973 We were so innocent then. 302 00:11:52,975 --> 00:11:54,474 So many dreams. 303 00:11:54,476 --> 00:11:56,326 Trying to work over here. 304 00:11:56,328 --> 00:11:57,945 Bright, shimmering future ahead. 305 00:11:57,947 --> 00:12:00,614 Now we're basically a couple of wild animals 306 00:12:00,616 --> 00:12:03,250 grunting at each other to throw some toilet paper 307 00:12:03,252 --> 00:12:05,636 through the crack in the bathroom door. 308 00:12:05,638 --> 00:12:07,320 Baby, let's be honest. 309 00:12:07,322 --> 00:12:11,675 At this point, that door is wide open. 310 00:12:11,677 --> 00:12:13,677 You know what you should use the next time you run out 311 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:15,462 of toilet paper? Your wedding vows. 312 00:12:15,464 --> 00:12:17,097 'Cause that's all your marriage has been, 313 00:12:17,099 --> 00:12:19,433 one long six-year wipe 314 00:12:19,435 --> 00:12:21,685 after that double-flusher of a wedding. 315 00:12:21,687 --> 00:12:23,470 Stinson out! 316 00:12:25,673 --> 00:12:26,640 You okay? 317 00:12:26,642 --> 00:12:27,891 Yeah. 318 00:12:27,893 --> 00:12:29,877 You're right. I'm-I'm being insane. 319 00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:30,978 Oh, come on, Robin. 320 00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:33,697 That's... accurate. 321 00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:36,400 We can't run away together. 322 00:12:36,402 --> 00:12:38,402 Of course not. 323 00:12:38,404 --> 00:12:40,788 So I'm just gonna run away alone! 324 00:12:48,213 --> 00:12:49,863 Damn it. 325 00:12:51,734 --> 00:12:53,083 Whoa! 326 00:12:53,085 --> 00:12:56,153 And that's how Robin met your mother. 327 00:12:59,428 --> 00:13:01,896 Wait, what are we doing here? 328 00:13:01,898 --> 00:13:04,265 Lily, our-our wedding vows, 329 00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:06,884 maybe they were just too perfect for real life. 330 00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:09,720 Real life is messier than that, and... 331 00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:12,523 we're different people than we were in 2007. 332 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:13,558 But that's okay. 333 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,427 Maybe we just need some updated vows. 334 00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,196 So I thought maybe before this place 335 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:22,450 gets too busy, we could... borrow this altar for a minute. 336 00:13:25,921 --> 00:13:27,922 Lily Aldrin, 337 00:13:27,924 --> 00:13:31,676 I vow to stop shouting stuff at you when you're dumping out. 338 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,027 You're the love of my life, 339 00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:35,847 and you deserve to make a deuce in peace. 340 00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:39,884 I vow to stop pointing out every dog erection we see 341 00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:41,302 when we walk through the park, 342 00:13:41,304 --> 00:13:43,587 even though they are incredibly weird looking. 343 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:46,374 Oh, just don't point and scream "Maybe it's Maybelline." 344 00:13:47,643 --> 00:13:50,144 Marshall Eriksen, I vow to always tell you 345 00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:52,530 when you have green stuff in your teeth. 346 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,515 You have green stuff in your teeth. 347 00:13:54,517 --> 00:13:55,984 Oh. 348 00:13:55,986 --> 00:13:59,704 I vow to always sit next to you and hug you, 349 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,623 even if you're covered in vomit, 350 00:14:01,625 --> 00:14:02,690 whether it's yours 351 00:14:02,692 --> 00:14:04,626 or Marvin's or-- 352 00:14:04,628 --> 00:14:07,778 in the case of what came to be known as Spew Year's Eve 1998-- 353 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,131 my own. Sorry. 354 00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:11,916 I vow to stop getting so angry... 355 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:13,051 Ooh, I just thought of another one. 356 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,118 ...when you interrupt me. 357 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,637 Mine was to interrupt you less, 358 00:14:15,639 --> 00:14:17,171 so that's good. 359 00:14:18,623 --> 00:14:20,091 I vow... 360 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:23,294 to finally stop petitioning Paul McCartney 361 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,297 to let Weird Al record "Chicken Pot Pie" 362 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:29,817 to the tune of "Live and Let Die." 363 00:14:29,819 --> 00:14:31,519 It's over. 364 00:14:31,521 --> 00:14:33,071 I'll let it go. 365 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,139 I vow... 366 00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:38,276 to cry less during this pregnancy. 367 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,862 I vow to cry less during this Vikings season. 368 00:14:40,864 --> 00:14:43,531 Mm, with that secondary, I wouldn't make that promise. 369 00:14:43,533 --> 00:14:47,118 I vow to keep at least 80% of these vows. 370 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,670 That seems high. 371 00:14:48,672 --> 00:14:52,173 And I vow to keep updating them as we go. 372 00:14:53,258 --> 00:14:54,825 Because one set of vows, 373 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:57,712 it can't cover a lifetime of growing 374 00:14:57,714 --> 00:14:59,947 and changing with you, 375 00:14:59,949 --> 00:15:02,833 of raising children with you... 376 00:15:04,002 --> 00:15:07,638 ...falling more and more in love with you every day, 377 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,525 Lily Aldrin, which is what I vow to do 378 00:15:10,527 --> 00:15:12,593 for the rest of my life. 379 00:15:12,595 --> 00:15:16,781 Crap. I already broke my crying vow. 380 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,533 I'll forgive you. 381 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,378 I am so sorry. Are you okay? Oh... 382 00:15:30,380 --> 00:15:32,163 That was totally my fault. 383 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,965 No. The bride is always right. It was my fault. 384 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,083 Are you okay? 385 00:15:35,085 --> 00:15:37,085 I'm fine. 386 00:15:37,087 --> 00:15:39,387 Are you sure? 387 00:15:39,389 --> 00:15:41,039 Because you were sprinting 388 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,307 from a church in a wedding dress. 389 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:44,542 And as a kid, 390 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,477 I was a bit of a detective... 391 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,812 so... 392 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,981 Um... 393 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,567 to be honest, I'm-I'm wondering if this... 394 00:15:52,569 --> 00:15:56,454 whole getting married thing is something I can go through with. 395 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,906 Oh. 396 00:15:58,908 --> 00:16:01,442 Wow. 397 00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:03,828 That's it? 398 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:06,030 Aren't you supposed to talk me out of it? 399 00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,899 Tell me it's just cold feet? I'm-I'm being crazy? 400 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,452 Okay, during that fall, we did kind of get to second base 401 00:16:11,454 --> 00:16:13,254 with each other-- and we'll always share that-- 402 00:16:13,256 --> 00:16:15,890 but I don't really know you. 403 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,108 So... 404 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,409 here's all I'll say: 405 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:19,743 when I'm overwhelmed, 406 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,429 I force myself to do one simple thing 407 00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:24,081 before I have to make a decision: 408 00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:28,419 close my eyes and take three deep breaths. 409 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,888 Three deep breaths. Mm-hmm. 410 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:34,609 Sometimes even three deep breaths can change everything. 411 00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:58,649 Barney? 412 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,585 Hey, I've been looking for you. You okay? 413 00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:03,421 Uh... yeah. I-I was just talking to the... 414 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:07,175 the band about the... thing with the stuff. 415 00:17:07,177 --> 00:17:08,910 What are those? 416 00:17:08,912 --> 00:17:10,144 My vows. 417 00:17:11,129 --> 00:17:13,130 I-I know it's bad luck to see the bride 418 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:16,067 right before the ceremony, but I realized something. 419 00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,969 Marshall and Lily have broken most of their wedding vows, 420 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,822 but they're still the best couple I know. 421 00:17:20,824 --> 00:17:22,523 I think their biggest problem 422 00:17:22,525 --> 00:17:25,276 was that Marshall didn't tell Lily the truth. 423 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,978 So... 424 00:17:29,665 --> 00:17:32,650 I've decided to make only one vow to you, 425 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:36,587 because it's the only one that really counts. 426 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,840 Robin Scherbatsky... 427 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:42,059 ...from this day forward, 428 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,795 I am always gonna be honest with you. 429 00:17:45,747 --> 00:17:47,582 'Cause I love you. 430 00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:50,451 I'll see you up there. 431 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:54,021 Oh. 432 00:17:54,023 --> 00:17:55,890 Ted got that locket for you. 433 00:17:55,892 --> 00:17:58,008 He's the one you should thank. 434 00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:02,730 Barney, wait. 435 00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:22,733 What is it? 436 00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:24,385 The cornflower blue tie. 437 00:18:24,387 --> 00:18:26,304 That's the one I should be wearing. 438 00:18:27,389 --> 00:18:29,390 It's right by my bed. Back in Manhattan. 439 00:18:29,392 --> 00:18:31,726 Stall for me. I'll be back in six hours, tops. 440 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:36,597 That's all of 'em! 441 00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:37,949 Wow. 442 00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:38,900 Wait. 443 00:18:38,902 --> 00:18:40,685 I'm free. 444 00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,403 It's over. 445 00:18:42,405 --> 00:18:45,740 The slap bet is finally... over? 446 00:18:45,742 --> 00:18:47,558 Yeah, it is, buddy. 447 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,161 Thank you. 448 00:18:53,782 --> 00:18:55,065 You know, this may sound crazy, 449 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,534 but I'm gonna miss that slap bet. 450 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,119 No, you won't. No, you're right. I won't. 451 00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:22,426 Hi. 452 00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:23,644 Hi. 453 00:19:24,646 --> 00:19:26,447 You've never looked more beautiful, Robin. 454 00:19:26,449 --> 00:19:28,599 Nobody asked you, Patrice. 455 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,201 By the way, 456 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:34,155 in the interest of honesty, we really do have a ring bear. 457 00:19:34,157 --> 00:19:35,489 What? 458 00:19:39,461 --> 00:19:41,963 Oh. I love the ring bear. 459 00:19:41,965 --> 00:19:45,333 Then you are gonna love the flower gorilla. 460 00:19:45,335 --> 00:19:46,917 What? Kidding. I'm kidding. 461 00:19:52,641 --> 00:19:57,061 ♪ If I ever were to lose you... ♪ 462 00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,363 Kids, I won't lie, 463 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,182 that was a long weekend. 464 00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:05,686 More ups and downs than I can count. 465 00:20:05,688 --> 00:20:10,658 ♪ I've not found by myself... 466 00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:12,610 It was a twisting, 467 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,029 turning road that led to the end of the aisle, 468 00:20:15,031 --> 00:20:18,649 and not everything along the way was perfect. 469 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,201 To be honest, 470 00:20:20,203 --> 00:20:22,753 not everything to follow would be perfect either. 471 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,588 But what is? 472 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,490 Here's the secret, kids: 473 00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:30,127 none of us can vow to be perfect. 474 00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:33,130 In the end, all we can do is promise to love each other 475 00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:34,465 with everything we've got. 476 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:38,502 ♪ 'Cause I can see ♪ 477 00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,805 ♪ Our future days... 478 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,224 Because love's the best thing we do. 479 00:20:43,226 --> 00:20:47,278 ♪ Days of you and me... 480 00:20:50,282 --> 00:20:52,701 And on that lovely spring evening, 481 00:20:52,702 --> 00:20:55,620 that's exactly what Barney and Robin vowed to each other. 482 00:20:57,145 --> 00:20:58,644 And it was legendary. 483 00:20:58,646 --> 00:21:03,646 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man